joe1987

Hi everyone, I first signed up towards the end of last year and had a few very heartfelt posts, I have since stopped smoking weed completely which for me was an everyday occourance but I now find myself drinking much more. Up until 6 months ago I had never been down my local pub and now I find myself in there most nights and all weekend. My GF has been put through hell the last 6 weeks with me going out and not answering my phone, only for me then to turn up at 1am steaming drunk. I never have the intention to hurt anyone by drinking and especially not my GF but I just can't stop drinking once I start. I know I have a problem with addiction in general but feel that this drinking addiction is really taking over my life, my last drink was Sunday around 1pm after waking up with a terrible hangover and thinking it would be the ideal way to get me back to sleep, this is something I have never done in the past and even today I feel so nervous and shakey about what I become when I drink it makes me want to have a drink to get rid of the pain, figure that one out? This is just insane. Anyway I've been reading on here for the last 2 days straight and it has helped me deal with my emotions knowing I'm not alone. I've been to AA before but only a few times and never really committed to it, I think I might need to try the 90 meeting in 90 days to really have a go at recovery. My brain just seems scrambled at the moment and I am unable to concentrate on anything. Thank you for reading and any advice would be much appreciated.

Soberwolf

Welcome bk Joe

joe1987

Thank you sober wolf, I can't shake this feeling of shame and guilt, I can never makes plans for the future due to my drinking and being hungover and its really hurting me. I don't know what the next step is, it seems easier to drink at the moment then it does to recover, just feel like such a loser and I don't deserve to be happy

Dee74

Welcome back Joe

For me the best way to deal with the shame and guilt was to 'live right' - everyone knows how to do that.

The longer you do it, the less the past defines you

Good to see you back to beat this addiction thing once and for all

D

joe1987

Thank you dee, I'm getting on with some gardening today and just going to take this one day at a time, i wouldn't say i have withdrawals from alcohol but more that I can't stop thinking about the past and this leads me to drink, the shame and guilt are real triggers for me. I am planning to start reading more to help with my impulsive nature, can anyone recommend something for what I have described above?

Bunny211

90 in 90 is a good start. I highly suggest getting yourself a sponsor to guide you through early recovery as well. Best of luck to you!

least

Put the past behind you and start today with doing the right thing. I found that making a gratitude list every day helped me focus on the positive.

Delilah1

Welcome back Joe!

joe1987

Thank you guys, i am planning to make a gratitude list and be thankful for everything I have. I need to plan plan plan to have things in place which will shut out my AV. If I can fill my time with activities then I will find it easier not to listen to my AV and hopefully then I can live a more rewarding life. It's just one day at a time, one plan at a time

thomas11

Hi Joe, you are definitely not alone, and I say that not to minimize your situation, but rather to demonstrate that no one is immune to the progressive destructive nature of alcoholism. Use the resources here to help you beat this thing.

Jsbodhi

Hi! Problem binge drinker here too
My drinking was gaining momentum too- like a runaway train :/
I hang out on SR a lot and keep busy.
The first little bit is really hard, but just keep adding up sober days, you'll start to feel better and stronger xo

joe1987

I just feel this sense of impending doom, thank you for all your support, it really does mean the world to me knowing people care.

SoberRDarrell

Hi joe I hope your feeling ok.. Im in the same situation atm.. I just spend Friday to sunday drinking !! Taking cocaine with it! Fell out with friends messed up a start to a relationship.. Doing the same thing waking up and going to get the cure to try and sort the hangover! Im now sitting just into Tuesday its 19:20pm and still feeling very sick & anxious from the weekend and I just about made it to work this morning! I hope my events doesn't upset your own emotions atm.. Im just writing to you to tell you your not alone and I hope the best for you! Darrell

Anna

Joe, often the shame and guilt keep us hooked on drinking. That happened to me. You need to learn from the negative experiences you had, but you also need to forgive yourself and move forward. That's what will help keep you sober.

thomas11

Joe,

sense of impending doom

That feeling was one of the deal-breakers for me. I couldn't handle it. I haven't had it in 8 months. Keep going.

uncorked

Hi Joe, a lot of people as you do. One of my favorite books is The Serenity Principle by Joe Bailey. The premise is that we all have power, wisdom and innate health -- we just have to learn how to tap into that. Our thoughts are not facts....they are just thoughts. It's a great book, I hope it helps you.

Delilah1

Hi Joe,

Hope you are starting to feel a little better.

MythOfSisyphus

I'm glad you're back and trying again, Joe. You don't fail you when you stumble, only when you don't get back up.

joe1987

Hi everyone, thank you for still showing an interest, I feel more positive today after a good nights sleep. Day 2 is looking at better for me then day 1, I've just got to keep myself busy all day and keep checking back on here, all your support is really helpful, thank you

thomas11

Joe, I can't emphasize enough how important it is to keep going and stay strong. If you slip, you'll likely go back to "ground zero" and the impending doom will return.