Missing my Ex
 

Hi, I just joined and I would like to say. I love LOVE love these forums. Before I split up with my alcoholic ex-boyfriend, I used to read through these forums for support. It was the only thing that helped at the time.
I was with my ex until the past x-mas. He attacked me while I held our 3 month old daughter in my arms.
To make a long story short.I wanted to leave for months. When I was pregnant he tried to quit drinking. We found out that he has end stage liver cirrhosis. He just turned 26 last September. He has been in a coma. He bled out and had to have the TIPS procedure to save him. He's literally been given months to live. Yet he never wanted to seek help, to go to rehab. To heal. He blamed me, his family blamed me. He has been drinking for 11 years and Ive only known him for 2.
I dont know why I miss him sometimes. I feel like I gave up on him. I was tired of it though. The lying, the cheating, the abuse....I just couldnt.
I have not seen him 3 months and although I have cried and been so depressed, I feel so much better mentally than I ever did while we were together. He left me in financial and emotional ruin.
I always wanted to believe that he loved me, he emails me sometimes, that he misses me, that he wants to be part of his daughters life. That he has changed, that he wants to show me. I cant deny that I am tempted to go back...these forums have been a tremendous help. thank you all for your stories. <3

I'm sorry that you are going through a hard time and missing your ex. It really doesn't sound like a good idea for you to have him back in your life. As you said, he left you in financial and emotional ruin. Has he stopped drinking?

I'm glad you have posted here to get support for yourself.

(((( hug you)))

I hope you don't go back to him. It sounds like he's not serious about recovery. :( I hope you can find the support you need to make a good life for you and your child. :hug:

I'm really sorry for what you're going through but I'm glad you decided to post HeyssellBear - welcome :)

D

Welcome Heyssellbear

Sending you a hug and hopes for a happy, healthy future for you and your child.

Hi Anna.
Thanks for your response. I know he's not good for me. He says hes been sober since we split but who knows. He never went more than a week or two without a relapse when we lived together.

Thanks all for the warm welcome. 😃😃😃

Sounds like you and your daughter are both better off without him, even if it is hard.