SoberinSyracuse

Sad here. I had a previous drinking buddy (Eric) who was SO supportive me in my sobriety. He wasn't exactly a significant other, but we were special to each other. We met as drinking buddies and became lovers and companions. As a daily drinker, he understood just about every thought and feeling I could tell him on the subject. He also LOVES how happy and healthy I am since getting sober. Once I quit and quickly improved, he was never negative, skeptical, jealous, or anything other than thrilled for me.

But, due to various obstacles, our relationship had no future except to distract me from finding someone more suitable. Whenever I tried to date, I'd find myself comparing them unfavorably to my dearest Eric. So, after a mutually tender and respectful discussion, we've parted ways and are observing a period of no contact. Not in anger; just to help us adjust and get used to different habits and patterns.

So, not only have I lost someone I really did care for, but he was my main day-to-day cheerleader.

Here's the rest of my sobriety landscape:

Family: I come from a drinking family, and family members are probably the worst. I don't think they mean me harm, but I believe they're just at a loss for how to relate to me without alcohol involved. Those are the "suggestions to drink" I have to ignore. No problem, but no support, either.

Household members: I have a cousin/roomie, who is off-again/on-again with booze. (Yes, the same roomie I complain about periodically for housekeeping, minor boundary violations, and assorted moral failures.) Kindly keeps the booze out of the house but that's about it. Again, a neutral influence.

Friends/penpals here: These are my other important sources of support.

Admitting that the loss of Eric is bumming me out a little seems to be bumming me out even more! So much for "talking through feelings," eh?

SadinSyracuse

Delizadee

I'm so sorry sis. I can really relate to the feelings of sadness and regret through the loss of important relationships through our drinking careers and subsequent retirement.
I for one feel the loss of close loved ones through one or the others choice in sobriety hits me much deeper than the breakdown of relationships due to my drinking.
I hope you find peace and comfort moving forward, your path of sobriety sounds very strong to me. At the end of the day we have to be our own cheerleaders
I'm sure this is only the beginning to new and fulfilling relationships in your life.

soberclover

Sometimes growing in our recovery journey is painful but necessary.

Soberwolf

I think your making a wise decision based on your sobriety something I 5000% endorse

You will always have us Sis x

SoberinSyracuse

Thank you for your very kind words. And for reminding me of what I've told countless others here when they've lamented lack of/loss of support of someone else -- you MUST be your own motivation and cheerleader.

Romantic disappointments always hurt. But when we make these HUGE life changes, there is gonna be fall out, isn't there?