blueberry2015

Yes. I only call her first thing of a morning now when I know she hasnt started to drink. I end telephone conversations with her when I know she is drunk. I dont answer the phone of an evening to her now as she is likely to be drunk. I stayed round her house the weekend and I asked her to delay her drinking until I went out (she was baby sitting my kids) but of course she had already begun to drink before I got there and she just did it.

This is the other thing, I really shouldnt be leaving my kids with her whilst shes been drinking tbh. My own drinking and that of my mothers have had an impact on them. Now I feel selfish doing that, but I wanted a evening out which I hardly ever get and Ive noone else to ask to baby sit for me.

blueberry2015

Totally.

Ariesagain

My mother has been in and out of the hospital for months for a heart problem she's had for at least a decade and that is definitely made worse by drinking. She has almost died twice.

She has been told by her doctors several times that she should not drink, but nothing and nobody can get her past "it's just wine and wine is good for my heart." The last time she was visiting at my brother's house she drank an entire bottle in an evening...at first I tried to slow her down and then got really direct about it, "Mom you've had quite a bit and you're going to feel lousy tomorrow," but then I gave up.

At some point, you've done all you can do.

MIRecovery

Let them see the great life you have sober

Jade1224

You have done all you can do now. At least you know that YOU won't drink!

blueberry2015

Thank you so much for your replies. I so appreciate this forum and everyones advice x x x

ICanDoBetter

Part of me wants know if you've ever talked to her about it... But more importantly is she aware that you are now sober or even that you have acknowledged a problem in yourself? You know that ultimately she has to want to change - and important to that at some point may require her having an awareness of the impact her drinking has on you and your child. There is of course the risk that could backfire and she could view it as you being hypocritical. I think perhaps it depends on what level of communication and dialogue you have in general and on these topics as to how you may be able to tread those waters. You can ultimately only control what you do and keeping a distance may be warranted, but make sure you have communicated what you need to in fairness to her and in keeping your and your child's best interests in mind.

blueberry2015

Yes I have spoken to her about it, several times I was hoping that when I said about my son having an issue with it may have had some lightbulb moment, but ..... X

ICanDoBetter

gotcha. My two cents is that if she is aware then you need to try to keep a distance as much as you need to for your own well being.

blueberry2015

I agree x Keep putting these boundaries in place, not only for me but for my kids too. They already been through enough with my own alcoholism its not fair to them to subject them further.