I'm kinda lost
 

I was doing so good and in one second one weak moment I lost it at I relapsed ... It wasn't even my drug of choice ... I feel so disappointed and lonely I can't tell anyone around me because they are all so proud of what I've overcome .I have so much to lose why would I make such a dumb decision? I know I should go to a NA meeting or call a NA hotline . I have the number in my phone to call and I have the addresses of all the meetings around me so why can't I make myself go I'm just so ashamed.. Sorry this post is so scattered and vague I've just never done this before I don't know if this is how you start to talk to people I tend to shut down and push everyone out when I start to use as most people do.. I just am so disappointed !

sasa,
good to see you.
and yes, this is how you start to talk to people. welcome to you, and congratulations for reaching out and starting the talking with people.

hope to see you back.

Welcome sasa! :)

You can turn this around. You've taken the first step by reaching out.

Good for you!

Welcome Sasa my sisters go to NA & it really helps

Welcome to the family. :) Get back up and start again. :)

Hi Sasa. Glad you're here and posting. I remember being unable to tell the truth if it meant telling anyone something that would disappoint them, or mean they might reject me. It's a lonely place your be in, so please keep posting on here. Also, the NA meeting is a great idea. Have you been before, or thinking of going for the first time? If you've been before could you text someone and tell them you relapsed and ask them to help you get to a meeting and find support there? If you haven't been before, just give that hotline a call. They will understand what you're going through and help you to access a meeting.

It is a shame that you had a relapse, but the important thing now is to learn from it and move forward. Not to beat yourself up, as that's just a waste of your energy, and while you're beating yourself up you're unlikely to reach out for the help that you deserve and need. Learn from it and move on. Is there a meeting near you today or tomorrow?

Wishing you all the best for your recovery.

BB

Hi Sasa, you're right it's quite typical of addicts to isolate and shut others out of their lives. It's what we do. And, it makes it harder to find support. I'm glad that you came here and posted. You can get back to it and live a sober life.

Hi Sasa

Secrets can really weigh us down and lead us into other things we have to keep secret.

I really think that unburdening yourself - or at the very least reaching out for help - will help :)

D

Hi! Welcome xoxo
We can all relate to this :)
Just start again! Xo