lovetolisten

I realized today it is possible to stop the train of destruction and humiliation. I drank a week ago and in a drunken haze in a bar, agreed to go on a date with a man 15 years my senior. ..did I mention I live with a different man? That's me drunk - a self absorbed person who thinks it is appropriate to act single when I am not. Today was supposed to be the "date" night - instead of showing up and getting drunk (pattern) I cancelled and went to an AA meeting. Of course I feel like an idiot. I almost just went on the "date" because I felt obligated to follow through on the first bad decision! Trust me, I understand how uterly insane this is. The ridiculous path wouldn't have started but for the drinking, but I stoped it. It is disgusting how it can turn you into a wholy different person. UGH!

lovetolisten

I'm living in the limbo hell of thinking I can still moderate. I liked the post from soberinsyracuse about how it gets psychologically easier when you just accept there is no moderation and shut the door

Dee74

Sounds like things are messy -I remember that.

It definitely is easier when you take drinking off the table as a viable option.

I hope you're ready to do that lovestolisten

D

Auggie

Good for you for not compounding the poor decisions! I wasted a lot of years and racked up a big pile of poor decisions (a lot like yours) playing around with the "I can moderate" lie. It really is easier to take alcohol off the table. It simply isn't an option for me.

thelatheguy

Hmmmm.... I just call it insanity!!!