Zoeloc

I got tricked into my first meeting years ago by a friend that was active and knew I needed help. Of course that didn't go over very well lol. Looking back I wish I had taken the leap of faith back then. I know its scary, but after a few meetings you'll realize everyone is very kind, especially to newcomers. It does help if for no other reason than to be around people that are going through the same thing. Take the plunge and don't look back

ItsViolet

I was scared to go too, lovingliving. Once I finally went, though, I thought wow, why did I make such a big deal out of this? I was ashamed of myself but it was also the unknown part of it too, I didn't know what to expect or what was going to happen.

Most likely you will find yourself with people who understand what you're going through and will welcome you heartily and congratulate your courage. They've all been new once too, they know what it's like. Unlike many people out in the world who may question or even criticize your sobriety, here's a group that will celebrate it.

Even though I'm not ready to come out of the closet to just anybody about my alcohol problem, I figure I can't be TOO worried about whether people I know find out I go to meetings. I have to prioritize what I need. I need a support network because alcohol is everywhere and drinking is everywhere and I can't drink. However somebody else reacts, I can't do anything about that. I'm just here for me.

Good luck on your first meeting if you give it a go

Berrybean

It took me a while to get through the doors myself. And I cried all through my first meeting, and intermittently at subsequent meetings for a while. Not because was sad, but because it was all a bit overwhelming to be with a whole group of people who thought and felt like me, and who were able to actually talk about it with a simple honesty which I couldn't begin to imagjne being willing to do, or capable of doing. Now I know that crying at the first few meetings isn't that unusual to be honest, although it was a little embarrassing for me at the time. I met a couple of people in the rooms who I knew. Guess what - they were there for the very same reason. And of course, they're not going to say anything to anyone because it's anonymous and we all support each other because it's a fellowship.
It's almost funny in a way how sensitive I suddenly got to people finding out that I had a drinking problem, when I'd been perfectly happy to walk around drunk, in shops and takeaways and restaurants, and around my local area when I was still actively alcoholic. But that's just one of the weapons that our AV uses against us when we start thinking about how to get all sober and recover.

I hope you decide to go despite the fear and embarrassment. Waiting for it to go BEFORE you take the plunge is just chicken and egg.

least

If you go, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how kind and welcoming everyone is. They know what you're going thru and they understand. Take a leap of faith and go.

ItsViolet

Yea it's not uncommon for people to cry at meetings, and from what I've seen it's not just all newcomers who cry.

RushTogether

The first one is the most nerve racking. After that, they become an amazing tool.

IvanMike

I had all of those reservations.

My experience is with NA, although I'll go to an AA meeting occasionally.

So there I was, minding my own business. My world was on fire, the drugs and alcohol didn't work anymore and every day I woke up mad that I wasn't dead and terrified to face another day. I was trying to think of a painless and surefire way to kill myself, but I really didn't' want to die, I just didn't know how to live. Against my better judgement I went to an NA meeting. - Best thing I ever did.

Don't wait. Waiting until you feel comfortable comes with a high mortality rate.

Zeroine

I echo what a couple of others have said. I think it's a good idea to call your local AA helpline and talk to them as a way of easing into it. If you don't know the local number, you can get it from the national helpline.

I think in most places they can put you in touch with an existing member of your local group to talk on the phone with. That person can meet you for a coffee before a meeting and go in with you if you want. You can talk to them about any concerns you have, and I'm sure they would understand.

You might want to consider going to a closed meeting first. A closed meeting is for only those who think they have a problem with alcohol. An open meeting also includes family and friends. All meetings are supportive and confidential, but as a first step maybe a closed meeting might feel safer for you?

fini

lovingliving,

"makes it all real...no more denying ..."

yes. exactly!
that is the very reason i knew i needed to go to at least one meeting: specifically so i had to acknowledge to myself that this was REAL!

because i was desperate to not go back to denying.

if it's important to you, you will do this.
you can.

shirlygirly

I felt the same way for years, though I did hide in the back of a couple meetings before I got sober. When I was drinking I would come up with any excuse, really, to ensure I'd get my next drink. Finally got over it, crawled through the doors, and asked for help. That was three years ago to the day and I have not had a drink since.

chrcarlson

lovingliving- I was terrified of going to my first meeting. The people were very nice to me-there was nothing to be worried about.
They are all there for the same reason you are, they will not "judge" you. Also one of the ways they keep sober is to help others recover from alcohol so you being there will actually help them.

See if they have have a schedule. Try going to a Speaker Meeting. One person will a lot of sobriety will speak the entire time. I like speaker meetings.

DoubleBarrel

It's funny, we had no problem walking into a bar but a meeting we worry about.

You know that feeling that no one understands what you are going through? There are people who understand, and have answers to help you. Guess where they are hanging out?

BlueSkiesAhead

Hello lovingliving,
I have been working the AA program very successfully for 22 months now, and it is life changing. It is not easy, we often open meetings with the first part of Chapter 5 in The Big Book, "How it Works". In that we say that we often looked for "an easier softer way". The people you meet at your first meeting may be people who you know, but they are all alcoholics who share the same disease that we all do. They will welcome you and help you learn tools to relearn how to live your life, sober.
We often say "It works if you work it" and this is very true. You will get out of the program what you are willing to put into it. I do a lot of corrections service work, taking meetings into the area jails, and prisons. I work with young people who are struggling with addiction. i go to several meetings myself every week. These activities all take us outside of ourselves, and allow us to concentrate on our sobriety. The path is so rewarding, and many of us have never known any other way of dealing with the world, than by taking a drink, happy, sad, confused, angry.....that was always our answer.
Every person, including myself who has walked into their first meeting has felt the way you do. If you cry, that means you are getting real, and in touch with who you really are. The openness and genuineness of the people in AA will be a breath of fresh air to you. We work together to stay sober....and once we have it, we give it away. I encourage you to give it a try.
Wishing you the best, Blueskiesahead.