Sorry~just need to vent :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 341
Sorry~just need to vent :(
I don't know how many days sober I am right now, I stopped counting, my last drunk was Dec 4. I have no plans to drink.
I just never get better it seems.
I try so hard to 'do the next right thing' by not drinking but I'm miserable and there's no relief in sight, not even that few hours I looked so forward to when I drank (but paid dearly for in the morning).
I work out, I eat healthy, I stay busy. Just because it';s what I'm supposed to do. I wake up in my black cloud every morning, lay there and Will myself to get out of bed and make it through another day.
I go through the motions, robot like.
I have chronic pain that is there from morning til night and keeps me up so my sleep is never good.. I've already been to the dr. and cortisone shots right now are my only option apparently and I don't want to do them, I tend to get every side effect listed.
My stress reliever is walking and it is getting more painful to walk every day.
There's no relief, at least when I drank I had those few hours of no depression and no pain. I just can't find the positive right now in all this.
I just never get better it seems.
I try so hard to 'do the next right thing' by not drinking but I'm miserable and there's no relief in sight, not even that few hours I looked so forward to when I drank (but paid dearly for in the morning). I work out, I eat healthy, I stay busy. Just because it';s what I'm supposed to do. I wake up in my black cloud every morning, lay there and Will myself to get out of bed and make it through another day.
I go through the motions, robot like.
I have chronic pain that is there from morning til night and keeps me up so my sleep is never good.. I've already been to the dr. and cortisone shots right now are my only option apparently and I don't want to do them, I tend to get every side effect listed.
My stress reliever is walking and it is getting more painful to walk every day.
There's no relief, at least when I drank I had those few hours of no depression and no pain. I just can't find the positive right now in all this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I am so sorry you are going through this
I would maybe schedule another visit with a Dr to see if you can get some type of relief for all you are going through. If you find your current one unhelpful maybe another Dr is in order?
Have you tried counseling or support groups?
It is really difficult to stay sober when you are not feeling any relief, but I do hope you stay sober and find ways to manage the pain and lift your moods that will keep going forward. No matter what I don't think you should go through this alone.
I would maybe schedule another visit with a Dr to see if you can get some type of relief for all you are going through. If you find your current one unhelpful maybe another Dr is in order?
Have you tried counseling or support groups?
It is really difficult to stay sober when you are not feeling any relief, but I do hope you stay sober and find ways to manage the pain and lift your moods that will keep going forward. No matter what I don't think you should go through this alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 341
Thank-you delizadee. I haven't had much luck with doctors. We moved a while back from where I lived my whole life and I never found another doctor here, just bad experiences every time I do go.
I've been told that what I'm experiencing is unusual for my age and I'm too young for the type of surgery required to fix it, so cortisone shots are it. Meanwhile the pain I experience daily is excruciating, it literally makes me jump multiple times a day because it's sudden and jolting, even when sitting.
There were many nights I drank just to calm the pain.
I haven't had much luck with counseling either as I have social anxiety so it becomes a trigger.
Another reason I drank, I'm a social misfit.
I've been told that what I'm experiencing is unusual for my age and I'm too young for the type of surgery required to fix it, so cortisone shots are it. Meanwhile the pain I experience daily is excruciating, it literally makes me jump multiple times a day because it's sudden and jolting, even when sitting.
There were many nights I drank just to calm the pain.
I haven't had much luck with counseling either as I have social anxiety so it becomes a trigger.
Another reason I drank, I'm a social misfit.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 444
Hi Jessie,
I'm sorry you're feeling rough these days.
It is a bummer to make the steps to quit drinking only to still be faced with the depression you are describing. Were you prone to depression before your drinking days began? If so, what did you do then that worked? I don't have any answers and deal with some of this myself but I try to remember that lives can improve, thinking and perceptions can change and that I am better off no matter what without the alcohol complicating matters. I really hope you find something that helps.
I'm not sure what your pain is and I know that we don't offer medical advice but I just want to mention something that has helped me enormously pain-wise and allowed me to forego spinal surgery for almost five years. I was referred by my doctor to an Egoscue specialist when I was in so much back and sciatic pain that I could barely walk. They are not covered by insurance in the U.S. that I know of but they are physical therapists with a focus on exercises and postural alignment that alleviates pain. I have been seeing one 90 miles from my house (there are some in most major cities) for several years off and on and it has been the only helpful treatment I've received. The exercises help with myriad physical pain ailments. You can find videos on Youtube if interested.
I'm sending you my best right now!
Jonathan
I'm sorry you're feeling rough these days.
It is a bummer to make the steps to quit drinking only to still be faced with the depression you are describing. Were you prone to depression before your drinking days began? If so, what did you do then that worked? I don't have any answers and deal with some of this myself but I try to remember that lives can improve, thinking and perceptions can change and that I am better off no matter what without the alcohol complicating matters. I really hope you find something that helps.
I'm not sure what your pain is and I know that we don't offer medical advice but I just want to mention something that has helped me enormously pain-wise and allowed me to forego spinal surgery for almost five years. I was referred by my doctor to an Egoscue specialist when I was in so much back and sciatic pain that I could barely walk. They are not covered by insurance in the U.S. that I know of but they are physical therapists with a focus on exercises and postural alignment that alleviates pain. I have been seeing one 90 miles from my house (there are some in most major cities) for several years off and on and it has been the only helpful treatment I've received. The exercises help with myriad physical pain ailments. You can find videos on Youtube if interested.
I'm sending you my best right now!
Jonathan
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
I think many people underestimate the wearing effect of chronic pain.
It really grinds you down and it would take a superhuman not to be depressed.
if your current Dr is not helping with the pain or the depression I think you deserve a second opinion Jessie
D
It really grinds you down and it would take a superhuman not to be depressed.
if your current Dr is not helping with the pain or the depression I think you deserve a second opinion Jessie
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
I agree with the others; find a different doctor. I am sorry that you are having to deal with so much. I can't speak to chronic pain, but depression is something that I have dealt with since childhood, and I am living proof that it can be managed. It may take time to find exactly what works for you, but a good doctor should be able to help you.
A good gp should be willing to work with you and refer you to a specialist when necessary. I hope you find relief jessie. Please keep us posted.
A good gp should be willing to work with you and refer you to a specialist when necessary. I hope you find relief jessie. Please keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
I found yoga to be an amazing pain management tool.
Have you tried this?
Positions can easily be modified and most places
have a very soothing, peaceful atmosphere.
Many people I practiced with were dealing
with issues like this and with a good teacher
results can be life-changing.
Have you tried this?
Positions can easily be modified and most places
have a very soothing, peaceful atmosphere.
Many people I practiced with were dealing
with issues like this and with a good teacher
results can be life-changing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 576
Jessie..I am sorry to hear this...See my 3 month today post..I am right there with you...Tired , wore out , zombie like...However you say it , it's rough...
They say it gets better...So lets say we hang in there and tough it out..
One thing you may want to ask your Dr.s is about a sleep study...Us former drinkers are known for horrendous sleep patterns..You find that your mind wants to sleep , but your brain never does(I think of them as 2 seperate pieces , your mind talks to your brain. Thats how it was explained to me)..
Hang in there...It's supposed to get better....
They say it gets better...So lets say we hang in there and tough it out..
One thing you may want to ask your Dr.s is about a sleep study...Us former drinkers are known for horrendous sleep patterns..You find that your mind wants to sleep , but your brain never does(I think of them as 2 seperate pieces , your mind talks to your brain. Thats how it was explained to me)..
Hang in there...It's supposed to get better....
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
I agree with getting a second opinion. Also, try making a gratitude list every day. Find something to be grateful for every day. No matter how small. I found that gratitude put my focus on the positive and improved my sobriety and my whole life.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Happiness isn't bestowed upon us just because we're sober. But sober is the starting point.
You have a lot of issues that are compounding your despair. Each of them: the depression, pain, and social anxiety can be addressed in ways more effectively than drinking.
You have a lot of issues that are compounding your despair. Each of them: the depression, pain, and social anxiety can be addressed in ways more effectively than drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 341
Thank-you all.
My feet are 'worn out' apparently, cartilage gone between the bones , bones are rubbing together and you can see little pieces, bones spurs, sticking out (on the x-ray).
It looks like I have eggs on top of my feet, some days it hurts to get my shoes on, some days I can't get them on.
I'm a walker, used to do sometimes 8-9 miles in a day, and this has slowed me down.
I haven't tried yoga, thank-you for that suggestion.
It might be worth getting another opinion but at the moment we once again don't have health insurance.
I do practice gratitude, being able to walk used to be on that list, lol.
My feet are 'worn out' apparently, cartilage gone between the bones , bones are rubbing together and you can see little pieces, bones spurs, sticking out (on the x-ray).
It looks like I have eggs on top of my feet, some days it hurts to get my shoes on, some days I can't get them on.
I'm a walker, used to do sometimes 8-9 miles in a day, and this has slowed me down.
I haven't tried yoga, thank-you for that suggestion.
It might be worth getting another opinion but at the moment we once again don't have health insurance.
I do practice gratitude, being able to walk used to be on that list, lol.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: London
Posts: 367
Jessie, I am really sorry you are in chronic pain. It's hard enough to give it up when there isn't physical pain ! I found 3 months tough, I am at 4 months now and think I am starting to climb up again. I understand everything you are saying, I think you need to speak to the Dr about your pain relief again. I hope things get better for you very soon x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 176
Hi Jessie,
If you live in the USA, you can't be denied medical Ins. Many Ins Co's have networks of alternative medicine Dr's. Bone & muscle pain can be very hard to live with. Along with the depression & anxiety. Agree on continuing your search for new Dr's who can help you.
I applaud you for remaining sober through all of it. Not easy. Your resolve & strength are shining examples, that anyone who desires sobriety can achieve it.
I'm sorry the cortizone injections don't help. I was fortunate when I needed them, they did. My daughter ended up having surgery for a diff DX. She found pain relief.
Hope you'll find pain relief soon.
If you live in the USA, you can't be denied medical Ins. Many Ins Co's have networks of alternative medicine Dr's. Bone & muscle pain can be very hard to live with. Along with the depression & anxiety. Agree on continuing your search for new Dr's who can help you.
I applaud you for remaining sober through all of it. Not easy. Your resolve & strength are shining examples, that anyone who desires sobriety can achieve it.
I'm sorry the cortizone injections don't help. I was fortunate when I needed them, they did. My daughter ended up having surgery for a diff DX. She found pain relief.
Hope you'll find pain relief soon.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by jessie65 
Thank-you all.
My feet are 'worn out' apparently, cartilage gone between the bones , bones are rubbing together and you can see little pieces, bones spurs, sticking out (on the x-ray).
It looks like I have eggs on top of my feet, some days it hurts to get my shoes on, some days I can't get them on.
I'm a walker, used to do sometimes 8-9 miles in a day, and this has slowed me down.
I haven't tried yoga, thank-you for that suggestion.
It might be worth getting another opinion but at the moment we once again don't have health insurance.
I do practice gratitude, being able to walk used to be on that list, lol.
My feet are 'worn out' apparently, cartilage gone between the bones , bones are rubbing together and you can see little pieces, bones spurs, sticking out (on the x-ray).
It looks like I have eggs on top of my feet, some days it hurts to get my shoes on, some days I can't get them on.
I'm a walker, used to do sometimes 8-9 miles in a day, and this has slowed me down.
I haven't tried yoga, thank-you for that suggestion.
It might be worth getting another opinion but at the moment we once again don't have health insurance.
I do practice gratitude, being able to walk used to be on that list, lol.
With the depression side of things, ur trying everything u can to alleviate this, has the Dr not talked about it with u??? Obviously the pain that ur in is having a huge negative impact on u, both physically & mentally.
Wishing u all the best.x
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