Need advice--always late
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Need advice--always late
I'm 6 months sober and always late, especially to work. I'm talking sometimes 2 hours later than the reasonable arrival time. It's hard to explain but the type of work I do, no one is waiting on my arrival and I work mostly alone.
I believe I've substituted drinking for self sabotaging in other ways. I used to binge eat and no longer. So I'm facing this chronic lateness problem next.
I do not believe it's lack of sleep. I believe I simply WILL NOT get out of bed. I set the alarm clock across the room and hit snooze for 2 hours sometimes and climb back in bed. It's bizarre to me, because it's miserable. And I've done it for around 6 years.
Any input is appreciated!
I believe I've substituted drinking for self sabotaging in other ways. I used to binge eat and no longer. So I'm facing this chronic lateness problem next.
I do not believe it's lack of sleep. I believe I simply WILL NOT get out of bed. I set the alarm clock across the room and hit snooze for 2 hours sometimes and climb back in bed. It's bizarre to me, because it's miserable. And I've done it for around 6 years.
Any input is appreciated!
I'd tend to agree with yinzer - have you explored depression or other possible pshychologial issues with a therapist or counselor? Most of us have underlying conditions to our alcoholism...and they don't simply go away when we stop drinking. My problem was ( and still is ) anxiety....and using therapy and some methods i've learned there really helped.
I found getting a sponsor (someone ELSE to be accountable to) has helped me with similar situations.
In the past, when i knew my Boss was going to be away i would purposefully take that as an invitation to be 1 hour late coming in to work (who would know...right??)
Now that i've been sober awhile, and by working with a sponsor i realize that was NOT the right action.
In essence, i was being selfish and robbing the company of an hour's employee time (meanwhile i was still getting paid for it.)
Now the thought has been hard to break...Boss is away...Those thoughts roar back...And FAST.
But i've taken the action to say to my sponsor, hey tomorrow i'm going to call you on my way out the door (Leaving house at 8, to be at work ON TIME for 9)
Extra bit of accountability, it helps me anyway.
Congrats on 6 sober months.
In the past, when i knew my Boss was going to be away i would purposefully take that as an invitation to be 1 hour late coming in to work (who would know...right??)
Now that i've been sober awhile, and by working with a sponsor i realize that was NOT the right action.
In essence, i was being selfish and robbing the company of an hour's employee time (meanwhile i was still getting paid for it.)
Now the thought has been hard to break...Boss is away...Those thoughts roar back...And FAST.
But i've taken the action to say to my sponsor, hey tomorrow i'm going to call you on my way out the door (Leaving house at 8, to be at work ON TIME for 9)
Extra bit of accountability, it helps me anyway.
Congrats on 6 sober months.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
Have you seen a therapist? You didn't indicate if you are chronically tired, which would of course call for a visit to your doctor. Is the quality/performance of your work good (not just acceptable)? 6 years of the same behavior is a long time, and apparently you were doing it while drinking also? Without trivalizing it, maybe it's just a bad habit?
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Thank you all for the input. I do see a therapist and have been for 3 years. She has helped me get to the core of my issues, which is childhood traUma that im working through.
FormerWineGirl : my work performance is really good according to my performance reviews and feedback from bosses and customers.
FormerWineGirl : my work performance is really good according to my performance reviews and feedback from bosses and customers.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Interesting. ....
I was reading someone's response to someone else and something clicked:
"If what you're doing right now isn't working, perhaps it's time to get out of your comfort zone and make some changes. I can't emphasize enough how worth it, it will be. You deserve a better life."
I think this bad habit has become my comfort zone somehow. And I need to break out of it.
I was reading someone's response to someone else and something clicked:
"If what you're doing right now isn't working, perhaps it's time to get out of your comfort zone and make some changes. I can't emphasize enough how worth it, it will be. You deserve a better life."
I think this bad habit has become my comfort zone somehow. And I need to break out of it.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Is getting ready/going to work the first thing you do in the morning? Perhaps you should insert something in front of that, something that could generate a little more enthusiasm. Do you like to go for coffee/breakfast, do you like to go for a walk, work out, anything else that might be a good first activity of the day?
How's your thyroid? I'm having trouble getting off to a fast start in the mornings, too. My doctor mentioned this is a common symptom of hypothyroidism so we're going to work on that for a few weeks and see.
In the meantime, it's helping me to "set up" a few things at night -- have the coffee machine loaded, have my wardrobe identified and set aside, lunch packed, etc. That way, I don't roll over and go "Ugh, I have to do all this craaaap, and I don't waaaaana."
Please don't jump to the conclusion that this is a character flaw or a psychological problem. Try making a few "habit" tweaks on your own. It hardly ever works to put a big smackdown on ourselves, "YOU SHALL GET UP ON TIME..." Instead, try making the first half-hour of your day more inviting.
And do talk to your doc about possible physical causes...thyroid, blood sugar, sleep apnea, etc. Good luck, and Rise & Shine! :-)
How's your thyroid? I'm having trouble getting off to a fast start in the mornings, too. My doctor mentioned this is a common symptom of hypothyroidism so we're going to work on that for a few weeks and see.
In the meantime, it's helping me to "set up" a few things at night -- have the coffee machine loaded, have my wardrobe identified and set aside, lunch packed, etc. That way, I don't roll over and go "Ugh, I have to do all this craaaap, and I don't waaaaana."
Please don't jump to the conclusion that this is a character flaw or a psychological problem. Try making a few "habit" tweaks on your own. It hardly ever works to put a big smackdown on ourselves, "YOU SHALL GET UP ON TIME..." Instead, try making the first half-hour of your day more inviting.
And do talk to your doc about possible physical causes...thyroid, blood sugar, sleep apnea, etc. Good luck, and Rise & Shine! :-)
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