When Drinking Defines You - Part II
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 21
When Drinking Defines You - Part II
On October 13, 2015, I posted here about how drinking was defining every part of my life and how I was living in shame of my deception and out-of-control humiliation. It started as a rant - I didn't come with a clear intention to put it down for a day or any one period of time. But someone on here urged me to stop for one single day, and I did. And I did the day after that. And I connected with one member on here, also newly sober, who I cultivated a friendship with. And now, just a few days after picking up my red chip for five months sober, I can say: drinking doesn't define me any longer.
Physically, I feel better than I would have thought possible. I was quite smug that I was not experiencing hangovers during my daily drinking binges. As it turns out, it was. I had no idea what feeling good felt like anymore. I have more energy and feel more effective and efficient at just about everything I set out to do. In my first post, I complained that I could take off about 20-30 pounds, which boy, felt really daunting. Well, I did it. Down to the last pound, and perhaps a bit more than 30 when all is said and done. Without dedicating all my time to drinking, I found the time to exercise and realized my body really enjoys it. Without the empty caloric dump of beer, wine, and liquor, I cared more about the food I was putting into my body to nourish it. My appetite has changed. Eating cleaner has gone hand-in-hand with my detoxing from all the poison I was putting into myself. Friends, coworkers, my next door neighbor have all commented on the somewhat dramatic difference of my physical appearance.
Looks aren't everything, though confidence is a powerful fuel to get where you want to go. In my original post, I talked about how I worked from home all the time and this enabled me to drink early in the day and set a happy hour of my choosing. Well, back when I was the Director of my own life, I thought my work from home schedule was simply superior to what everyone else was doing. Again, I was wrong! A month or two into sobriety, the universe conspired to help me accomplish my goals as I needed to switch teams at my company and thus go in every single day. The accountability has done wonders for me. Being around other people all day means that sometimes I want to complain but often I have more stories to share when I get back home. I have more gratitude for getting back on my couch. I am up, out, and in the world. I am an active participant in my life, a story that is not so passive and that now has a much richer and more dynamic plot. And I can take much more pride in the work that I do because I have the visibility among other people to really be a bit more passionate about accomplishing my work tasks.
Relationship - now that's a bit of a tougher one. As some of you have probably experienced, people in a situation such as mine were get sick together. At the moment, we're trying to heal together. Unlike the secrecy and sketchiness of my drinking life, I am trying to combat those symptoms by being as open, honest, and kind as possible. And, rather than trying to control the outcome and navigate it to death, I'm - gulp - taking it a day at a time and simply trying to live through doing the next right thing.
Next right thing - some of you may have picked up then that I'm actively doing the AA program, and I am. I appreciate the fellowship there, especially among other women. And little sound bytes like "feelings aren't facts" and "suit up and show up" help me get through the day when it's my emotional sobriety that's wavering and I feel just sorta murdery and stabby-ish. Oh, progress not perfection - there's another one to just have the reassurance that that next right thing is all you really need to stay your course.
So THANK YOU to those of you who read my initial post and commented on it. It made a difference. You took part in a revolution in my life; you contributed to a momentum that has swept me into an entirely new direction. I'm not trying to sound like it's all roses all the time. Truly I have days where all I want to do is go back to the easy, isolated, simple existence of enjoying a cocktail on a warm afternoon while no one is paying me any mind. But overall, I am learning how to become spiritually fit and I believe this website is a brilliant way to get people out from the bottom of a bottle and into the rooms.
I'd love to pay it forward. If anyone has any questions about early sobriety or simply wants an extra cheerleader, I'm right here on the other side of what's been five fantastic months.
Physically, I feel better than I would have thought possible. I was quite smug that I was not experiencing hangovers during my daily drinking binges. As it turns out, it was. I had no idea what feeling good felt like anymore. I have more energy and feel more effective and efficient at just about everything I set out to do. In my first post, I complained that I could take off about 20-30 pounds, which boy, felt really daunting. Well, I did it. Down to the last pound, and perhaps a bit more than 30 when all is said and done. Without dedicating all my time to drinking, I found the time to exercise and realized my body really enjoys it. Without the empty caloric dump of beer, wine, and liquor, I cared more about the food I was putting into my body to nourish it. My appetite has changed. Eating cleaner has gone hand-in-hand with my detoxing from all the poison I was putting into myself. Friends, coworkers, my next door neighbor have all commented on the somewhat dramatic difference of my physical appearance.
Looks aren't everything, though confidence is a powerful fuel to get where you want to go. In my original post, I talked about how I worked from home all the time and this enabled me to drink early in the day and set a happy hour of my choosing. Well, back when I was the Director of my own life, I thought my work from home schedule was simply superior to what everyone else was doing. Again, I was wrong! A month or two into sobriety, the universe conspired to help me accomplish my goals as I needed to switch teams at my company and thus go in every single day. The accountability has done wonders for me. Being around other people all day means that sometimes I want to complain but often I have more stories to share when I get back home. I have more gratitude for getting back on my couch. I am up, out, and in the world. I am an active participant in my life, a story that is not so passive and that now has a much richer and more dynamic plot. And I can take much more pride in the work that I do because I have the visibility among other people to really be a bit more passionate about accomplishing my work tasks.
Relationship - now that's a bit of a tougher one. As some of you have probably experienced, people in a situation such as mine were get sick together. At the moment, we're trying to heal together. Unlike the secrecy and sketchiness of my drinking life, I am trying to combat those symptoms by being as open, honest, and kind as possible. And, rather than trying to control the outcome and navigate it to death, I'm - gulp - taking it a day at a time and simply trying to live through doing the next right thing.
Next right thing - some of you may have picked up then that I'm actively doing the AA program, and I am. I appreciate the fellowship there, especially among other women. And little sound bytes like "feelings aren't facts" and "suit up and show up" help me get through the day when it's my emotional sobriety that's wavering and I feel just sorta murdery and stabby-ish. Oh, progress not perfection - there's another one to just have the reassurance that that next right thing is all you really need to stay your course.
So THANK YOU to those of you who read my initial post and commented on it. It made a difference. You took part in a revolution in my life; you contributed to a momentum that has swept me into an entirely new direction. I'm not trying to sound like it's all roses all the time. Truly I have days where all I want to do is go back to the easy, isolated, simple existence of enjoying a cocktail on a warm afternoon while no one is paying me any mind. But overall, I am learning how to become spiritually fit and I believe this website is a brilliant way to get people out from the bottom of a bottle and into the rooms.
I'd love to pay it forward. If anyone has any questions about early sobriety or simply wants an extra cheerleader, I'm right here on the other side of what's been five fantastic months.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by Rubyx 
Congratulations! This is very inspiring to me. I'm on day 3 today and my hope is to achieve what you have.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
