I drank
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
I drank
I won't make this long, but to keep honesty and integrity in the life I am trying to lead I need to post that after 496 days of sobriety I had a glass of wine at a supper party last night.
I had no ill effects from the alcohol itself, but today has not been an easy day. I have had a heavy heart and a shadow over my head. Lately I had been resisting the idea that we only get 24 hours of sobriety at a time, but today this has new meaning for me.
One thing that is clear to me today is that I want to lead a sober life. I have contacted my sponsor to share my experience. I have chosen to redo the 12 steps of AA, and I have intention to attend an AA meeting tomorrow at noon. I never officially have kept up with a monthly class here, but I would like to join the March 2016 class.
In spite of the unpleasant feelings I have today, I also have a peace that I have not felt in a while. I have been letting some resentments build up and erode my peace for the last while, and I am looking forward to the journey ahead.
I appreciate you all.
I had no ill effects from the alcohol itself, but today has not been an easy day. I have had a heavy heart and a shadow over my head. Lately I had been resisting the idea that we only get 24 hours of sobriety at a time, but today this has new meaning for me.
One thing that is clear to me today is that I want to lead a sober life. I have contacted my sponsor to share my experience. I have chosen to redo the 12 steps of AA, and I have intention to attend an AA meeting tomorrow at noon. I never officially have kept up with a monthly class here, but I would like to join the March 2016 class.
In spite of the unpleasant feelings I have today, I also have a peace that I have not felt in a while. I have been letting some resentments build up and erode my peace for the last while, and I am looking forward to the journey ahead.
I appreciate you all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: United kingdom
Posts: 360
Well done posting here, don't let one slip take away the proudness you should feel for having done 496 days. Have to say if I had a glass of wine after all that sobriety and then resolve to not drink again I would feel something of a hero!
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,916
I'm sorry to see that you drank, but by all means, let it stop with just this one time.
I had over 5 years of sobriety, and they I drank. Once I started again, I had a hard time staying stopped. It took me about a year of on-again, off-again drinking before I could get sober again.
I had over 5 years of sobriety, and they I drank. Once I started again, I had a hard time staying stopped. It took me about a year of on-again, off-again drinking before I could get sober again.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back lance, sounds like you did a lot of thinking today and have some postive thigns already in motion. You are always welcome here on SR and I think joining a class thread is a great idea.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Hi Lance. I am sorry you drank but I really want to thank you for sharing that with us. You helped me stay sober. I've got almost 10 months and there are times when I think that a drink won't hurt...but I fear what you just described...the self-loathing and depression that come with a drink. I am sorry you had to experience it but I thank you, once again, for sharing and helping me stay sober.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Lance, I'm sorry you drank. Also sorry you feel bad about it. But I'm super grateful for two things: you are recomiiting to sobriety and this isn't an "I drank but" post.
It's so nice to see a person fess up and tell it like it is, with no rationalizations. I think you are gonna be just fine. Here's to another 24 hours!
It's so nice to see a person fess up and tell it like it is, with no rationalizations. I think you are gonna be just fine. Here's to another 24 hours!
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Don't make it a bigger, blacker thing than it really is. You're a good person, and you're succeeding in sobriety. But I can tell it's extremely important to you to live a 100% alcohol-free life. And this is smart, because I know you've seen a lot of people fall back into the pit, starting with just a single glass of wine.
Just do what you're doing, renew your commitment, and carry on the sober life you've been living.
Let go of the self-flagellation and negativity; it's not necessary and it won't help you. It's always much stronger to move TOWARD something positive than AWAY from something negative. You've learned how awesome sobriety is, so just keep that as your North Star.
Great job on over a year sober!
Just do what you're doing, renew your commitment, and carry on the sober life you've been living.
Let go of the self-flagellation and negativity; it's not necessary and it won't help you. It's always much stronger to move TOWARD something positive than AWAY from something negative. You've learned how awesome sobriety is, so just keep that as your North Star.
Great job on over a year sober!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hi Lance,
I am glad you came right back on here and posted, 496 days of sobriety is incredible. I am on Day 80 today, that thinking I could have one drink has been my downfall too many times to count.
Sounds like you have a good plan in place moving forward.
I am glad you came right back on here and posted, 496 days of sobriety is incredible. I am on Day 80 today, that thinking I could have one drink has been my downfall too many times to count.
Sounds like you have a good plan in place moving forward.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
Thank you all for the replies and support. It means a lot to me.
Dee - I don't have a quick or easy answer about what I'm going to do differently. Looking on, I have been taking all the right actions; but one thing I can identify is that over time I can tend to lose ownership of my sobriety. Instead of it becoming something that I willingly choose as the way that I want to live, I start to look at my sobriety program as a burden that is forced on me. That starts me down a path to internal resentments, resistance and fault finding.
Dee - I don't have a quick or easy answer about what I'm going to do differently. Looking on, I have been taking all the right actions; but one thing I can identify is that over time I can tend to lose ownership of my sobriety. Instead of it becoming something that I willingly choose as the way that I want to live, I start to look at my sobriety program as a burden that is forced on me. That starts me down a path to internal resentments, resistance and fault finding.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
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