Failed after nearly 3 months...
 

I drank last night and carried on til 6am. I'm meant to be eating downstairs at a family dinner and I'm laid in a darkened room so hung over I can barely move. I hate myself. There's a foul atmosphere in the house and it's all down to me.

I'm so sick of this lifestyle, it's really getting me down - I just cant seem to stop.

Sorry to hear of your troubles. What have you been doing over the past 3 months besides just not drinking? Get to feeling better today and make tomorrow another day 1!

I've been pretty productive, got myself a camera and started going out walking in the countryside with it, sorted my diet out, got a nearly normal sleep pattern sorted. I was doing fine and then fell for the 'of course you can just have a couple' lie. So back to square one now. I cant believe I've done the exact thing I've done a thousand times and thought I could drink normally. I must be stupid.

You haven't failed at all, 3 months is brilliant and you just had a little slip..Maybe look at it as a reminder of a path you don't want to take anymore.

Jimmy, 3 months sober is great. And, your plan for taking photos and watching your diet are all great things to do to support your recovery. It could be that you weren't quite ready to be in a situation where alcohol was involved. I tried to do that early on and failed too. So, I ended up staying away from places and people who were drinking for about 10 months. Have faith that you can do this.

Exactly what Anna said it's really important in early recovery to avoid all drinking related events on the calendar in favor of learning about sobriety & tools to help you stay sober things like regular interaction here @ SR or going to an AA meeting or other recovery meetings that are available I really enjoy reading books related to recovery it has helped me better understand

Have you got a plan ?

You're not stupid, you're addicted and you fell for its lies. :( Make yourself a good plan for sobriety so you won't be tempted to give in again. :)

I agree. Hang on to the idea that you CAN live quite well indeed without alcohol because you've proven that.

If the "I can have a drink or two" lie is snaring you repeatedly, time to confront that lie once and for all. You now know beyond a shadow of a doubt you can't drink in moderation. So, make up your mind to not drink at all, ever.

And Anna makes a great point: You might want to stay far away from alcohol and drinking for a good, long time.

Hope you feel better soon!

Don't let one slip spoil the whole dance...

Get back on the wagon and start the next 3 months
Accept you can't moderate, and learn from what happened.

It doesn't have to happen again if you don't let it Jimmy--
Next move is yours

Thanks for the replies everybody. Now the fog has lifted a bit I suppose it could have been worse and there's no point dwelling on it. I just have to learn from it and move on.

3 months is still the longest I've managed sober probably since I started drinking. I know I can go that long so...time to try and beat the record.

Absolutely- learn from it and continue being sober. Don't let one slip make you give up

Jimmy - I like your attitude. :) You never have to feel this miserable again. You'll be more determined now.

Doing stuff and keeping active is great, but I think that only addresses part fo the alcoholism problem.

don't be afraid to add things to your plan to stay sober Jimmy...some great ideas here :)

D

I think the camera and the countryside walking are great ideas.

What other changes will you make to support and deepen your sobriety?

I too slipped after 3 months thinking I could drink normally, as we both discovered... We cant. Learn from this experience and get straight back on the wagon x Try not to let remorse and guilt eat you up as they too are triggers for picking up. You're an addict, the addicts mind plays tricks on us at times and sometimes.... it wins x x x You CAN get sober again... i have x

There seems to be a pattern to me drinking. It's mainly boredom. Like the other night, my friend came to see me and we just didn't do anything. If we'd have planned to go somewhere or whatever that would have worked out different. I explained my issues with booze and he says next time we'll go out somewhere and do something - not involving booze.

Left to my own devices I'm OK, but there are certain situations I need to avoid where other people are concerned.

Excellent realisation on taking a break from doing certain things while your building sober muscles

Have you got a plan moving forward

You're not back to square one, that's all or nothing thinking that only suits our instinct to give up. You've had a slip up, and you need to take that seriously, but you also have to look at the good habits and lessons you've learned over the past three months and realize that you get to hang on to those, those aren't out the window. So you made a mistake, thankfully you're in a place to recognize and learn from that mistake, and maybe you needed this mistake to turn those last three months into an even more sincere desire to turn that into three more, and three more, and three more, and so on.