ItsJustMe89

Yesterday I was on day 6. It had been a very long time since I had made it that long. Then I drank on night 6. I'm not sure why. I had a ton of rationalizations going through my mind. Reasons why I wanted to change my sobriety date anyway and reasons why I should get one last time in before I start this new diet that doesn't allow alcohol anyway. Just rationalizations and excuses and justifications flooding my mind. And it was Friday night and my roommate was out of town. So the perfect opportunity to relax and drink with the whole house to myself. I also lied to my sponsor yesterday on the phone. I said I went to an afternoon meeting but the truth is I did not make a meeting. I didn't plan to drink. Even when I lied to my sponsor about the meeting, I didn't have plans to drink that night. But as the night went on and I was sitting home alone... I kept going back in forth in my head about the idea. Until finally I just did it.

I work Saturdays but I was tired this morning so I used some unplanned time off and went into work late. Then I made a good decision (I know, its rare), I went to a 10pm meeting and I got a new white chip. I proceeded to leave the meeting and come home just to decide that I still have left over liquor so I mind as well drink tonight too.

I still haven't had a chance to talk to my sponsor about what I did because she didn't answer the phone when I called her tonight. I am going to see her tomorrow at a meeting. Im not sure if I am going to tell her the truth or just pretend it didn't happen and just try again to stay sober from here moving forward. I just don't know. You would think I made a hobby out of collecting white chips. That's all I ever seem to do.

Upward2Enlightenment

I think you should tell her the truth. Lying is addict behavior. Maybe your sponsor will have some advice to help you deal with these urges in the future.

Dee74

I'm sorry you drank.
I really hope you'll think a little more on the whys so you can get a better more robust plan going IJM.

I also think you should tell the truth. Secrets and lies weigh us down and are liable to make us drink again.
D

least

Tell your sponsor the truth. You need some extra help on your plan to stay sober since what you're doing now isn't working. I hope you can get sober for good, sooner rather than later.

OldTomato

Like the others have said, tell the truth. Addiction turns us into liars, being honest means taking a step away from that.

Stiltskin

The truth is best in every situation.

Soberwolf

When I was trying to stay sober id always ring my sponsor a day later after drinking and he always replied with the same thing to always reach out first it was a foreign concept I was like how am I meant to ring another alcoholic and say I feel like drinking how bad does that look ?

That's how bad my thinking was once I got over that reaching out thing and realised that is the best action to take my road to sobriety got a lot less bumpy

Not sure if you have a plan moving forward bud ?