blueberry2015

Is it normal to want to get a little bit stoned? (Recovering alchie btw) Ive only smoked weed a handful of times and naturally as an alchie I loved it. Tonight I wasnt craving a drink but craving the buzz if that makes sense. I sooo would love a little high, should this raise alarm bells??? I havent actually acted on it, but the thought is there admittedly.

amyrose

I don't believe in "normal" so cannot judge. For me, the end game is I want to disappear and stop having fear, anxiety, doubt, every negative feeling, any way I can. But to me drinking, drugs, pills - it's all the same thing. Either I want to be present and deal with all the good and bad soberly, or I want to disappear behind any substance that will do.

FreeOwl

I've been there.

I can only offer you my experience.

The first time I got sober, I was also free of pot for the first few months.... then I felt like maybe a little pot would be a nice alternative.... started smoking and in pretty short order, I was smoking kind of regularly.

Not long after that I figured a drink or two here and there wouldn't hurt.

That wound up triggering a 1.5 year binge.... of both.

This time around, I stopped drinking but was still smoking pot for a while.... after about a month I realized that the patterns of use I was developing with pot were heading in the same old direction and were just acting as a surrogate for my addictive needs. So I stopped that too.

I've been sober and pot-free over two years now and life is much, much better.

I don't judge you at all.... but I certainly do caution you to consider that what you need is probably not pot - but some attention to deepening your sober life.

blueberry2015

You know the more I think about this, i think its my addictive voice talking, I don't want a drink but I do want the buzz. Ive had a bit of a downer day today where id been feeling low, sooo what do I want to lift my mood? Says it all doesn't it?

FreeOwl

there ya go....

we get our brains 'wired' to the habits we have developed in responding to the stress and the influence of life.

in sobriety, we need to focus on re-wiring ourselves.

try hitting the gym, going for a nice walk, calling a friend, watching a movie, taking a hot bath...... start giving your brain new, healthier patterns of response.

buk1000

I was given about 20 joints in lieu of cash payment about 8 years into sobriety. The first couple days I really enjoyed how relaxed I was. After that I was fiendish and wanted very badly to get drunk. I gave away the remaining pot.

I know plenty of people that have gotten sober and still smoke marijuana. It doesn't work for me. That's my experience.

blueberry2015

This is crazy eh? I just want a teeny eeny wincy incy little high. Just a lil one. I think I already know its prob a bad idea but doesnt stop me wanting it! Im gonna get to a meeting tomorrow and share this, rather than ignore it I need to be honest as I have with you thats how I really feel!!! Arggggggghhhhhh.

Soberwolf

Sorry today was a downer blueberry I agree with FO but also remember it will pass a bad day is just that and for getting through it you know you depower future urges & cravings on the basis you accept you can't drink safely or responsibly (I can't either) and the fact you know you'll get through this

As for getting high it's the same as getting drunk

In this together

blueberry2015

Thats what im thinking if I smoke it will it lead me to craving a drink? Ive never smoked weed without alcohol before so I have no idea how it would affect me. Im starting to realise I maybe playing with fire here.

thelatheguy

Sharing my experience strength and hope.... I just want to change the way I feel. Maybe not at first...sometimes months later...substituting a substance will ALWAYS lead me to my drug of choice. I'd think twice about the weed. Just enjoy being you. ...sober!!! Try it. It's awesome!!

MIRecovery

I was never happy were I was so I needed a drug to be somewhere else. For me a drug, is a drug, is a drug. Even things that aren't drugs are drugs for me.

If I use anything that allows me to escape reality it is something that can't be in my life

Dee74

I think it's pretty common for an addict to want to escape, and for them to rationalise that another way of escape is not as bad.

For me, I used pot in the same way as I used alcohol - to run away, to escape, to avoid responsibility...and it took me to the same place of excess where my life shrunk to the size of my room, and everything was all about where my next cone was coming from.

It was just a slightly different leaky boat on the same sea of crud.

my sincere advice is don't touch it. You've worked so hard to get yourself free blueberry - why voluntarily chain yourself to another wall now?

D

blueberry2015

Thank you all for your thoughts on this and for not judging me x x x

D122y

Bb,

I'm not a pot expert..however...I believe pot causes brain damage too...

My brother smokes pot all day. He is a mess.

It definitely changes the way people talk and act....my bro sounds like Spicoli. He is fat and unmotivated.

Also, I believe pot addicts have anxiety, just like alkys, when they don't smoke. My bro can only hang w the fam for a short time before he has to go get high...

I used to think...getting high...was the way to go...a party...

I have changed....

I don't consider my first 45 years a waste, they were awesome, and I was high for most of them.....well drunk...

But, now I've changed. My last 45 years, God willing, will be spent sober...

Just say no...

MIRecovery

Trust me I am not a poster child for a life well lead and there is not judgment here.

One of my favorite bible reading:



Bible > NIV > John 8

◄ John 8 ►


At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women.Now what do you say?” 6They were using this question as a trap,in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,”Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

SoberinSyracuse

Whatever you decide to do, be sure to devote a lot of time to getting used to the feeling of being unimpaired.

There's so much stuff you can enjoy sober that you totally miss when you're impaired. I just don't want to see you miss out on that.

Sunbeam

Blueberry, it's great that you listened well to all the wise words offered to you. It is easier to get defensive, but you didn't. You are where you are, considering your next step. You sound strong, and I believe will be successful.

Anna

Blueberry, I think everyone wants to escape now and then, but have faith that you can get through this. I'm glad you came here and posted.

SweatyHands

Meditation is a great alternative to getting high. Check out some mindfulness meditation pod casts or look up Noah Levine's instructions for basic sitting meditation. I know some recovering alcoholics that do not have a problem with a little pot, but I know way more who got the buzz and couldn't stop themselves from going further. As an addict, I would encourage you to stay away from the pot, but to explore the source of your desire to get high.

Soberwolf

Just throwing this out there but this is a big reason I read so much now before SR I had only read living sober & the BB and some books growing up

Since that time I love getting lost in books such a good thing I've done for myself by learning about myself and learning lots of other stuff too, I'm currently waiting on my new batch of books I've ordered

Have you seen the SR reccomended book list ?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ependence.html