Walshy

Hi
My partner of 18 months is alcohol dependant and drinking at least a bottle of vodka a day - he doesnt seem to have any intention of stopping although he says he doesnt want this - this is affecting our relationship as i dont like him when he is drunk he gets nasty and sometimes i dont even feel like i know him anymore? I do love him and i want to help him - but its not easy - no one knows about his drinking so i feel like i have no one to talk to - he never wants to talk to me about it, if i mention his drinking he just starts an argument and says that i always want conflict - which is the last thing i want - i dont know what to do to help him through this - all i know is that if things carry on as they are it is going to ruin our relationship - i love him and just feel like i want the person i fell in love with back! Willl that ever happen?
Any help or advice anyone?

least

I hope your partner can get sober for good. But it's up to him to do that. The only thing you can do is set boundaries of what you will tolerate from him.

I also suggest AlAnon for support for yourself and take a look at our friends and family forums for more insight.

Anna

I hope your partner makes a decision to stop drinking and live a sober life.

I hope you seek out support for yourself as you deal with this. Have you considered AlAnon?

Dee74

Hi Walshy - I'm sorry for what brings you here, but I'm glad you found us - you'll find a lot of support here

I don't think things are ever likely to improve with an active alcoholic until they stop drinking and find recovery Walshy. Unfortunately we alcoholics have to want to stop.

If that doesn't seem very likely in your partners case, then I think you have to ask yourself - is this the life you want for yourself?

D

ru12

If he doesn't want to stop there isn't much you can do. If he wants to stop but can't seem to do it there is help available. A bottle of vodka a day habit is probably going to take medical supervised detox to do it safely.

Delizadee

Hi Walshy,
There is no "right" amount of kinds of ways or love or things we can do to love a person into sobriety.
Alcoholics have to really want to be sober and work hard at it to maintain it.

Agree with the others... find some support. You do not have to go through this alone.

I'd suggest you check out the Friends and Family Section of forums as well as the very last section called "the Best of SR". There are so many good resources on this site and people who understand and care.

But most importantly, talk to someone in real time. Take care of yourself no matter what. Addictions are incredibly hard on every one they touch... you deserve love, kindness and support as much as your partner needs it.

Please do stick around

Soberwolf

Welcome Walshy