It's been 51 daze
 

I quit drinking 51 days ago and miss it like a drowning man misses oxygen. I stopped because I was having stomach issues that led to sleeping problems. I have a new(ish) job working five-eight hour(ish+) days a week, as opposed to three 12+ hrs a night. I had it gravy...it was like being a fireman who only had to rescue cats out of trees and give the occasional mouth to mouth resuscitation to a unhygienic person Did I mention I worked M-W nights? Off on Thursday until Monday afternoon (this was the best side of the gravy). My advice, if you are comfortable and content (not sad) about your situation, don't change it. I may eat my words (history proves I probably will - assuming I live that long). So here's the biggest rub...Aside from now being more disconnected from my friends and family then I was on the night shift (they were bar friends, but the best friends I ever had - nothing wrong with that IMHO). The biggest rub is...I was already struggling at my newish job, and now I may lose it for lack of performance. My job requires me to be able to think on my feet, solve problems, use deductive reasoning, write reports that have to be reviewed successfully and submitted on time. I toss and turn all night...languish in bed for hours in the morning. Get to work on-time but not mentally sober. Dumb drunk - not alcohol drunk. Just dumb drunk. I have thought through every scenario in the book to make this turn out to the good...and yet I wake up in the same boat everyday. If I get 3 hours sleep straight or 4 total, I'm amazed. WTH can I do? :a043: - that's me beating me.

Great job on 51 days!
Sleeping issues are common in early sobriety. I would seek medical help.
Hang in there, it will get better.

Congrats on 51 days sober! :) Hang in there, it gets better. :)

Hi and welcome IQuitWishIDidnt :)

I'm sorry life is a little rough right now...and was rough for me too, and I also blamed not drinking for it being rough.

A few years on tho and I realised things were rough because of my drinking, not because I'd stopped.

I was very much addicted to alcohol. Not having it around made me miserable for a little while, but I was miserable drinking too.

My concentration was shot, I wasn't sleeping well and I had no energy...but those were all signs of how much I'd relied on alcohol. I was hooked.

Drinking again might make us feel ok for a little while but I know I'd soon be back at the place when I knew I needed to quit again.

I persevered with not drinking and I'm glad I did.

I really love my life and who I am now. I can look at myself in the mirror and not feel ashamed.

I can truly be there for those who love me.

It's a good life, honestly :)

D

I felt pretty much the same as you after my first month sober - and it was getting worse, not better. I'm a teacher working with pupils who have special needs. They can be pretty demanding / challenging / lively and I need to be responsive and able to think out-of-the-box, and newly sober (and white-knuckling it) I was painfully aware that I wasn't up to scratch.

That was the point, for me, when I became willing to seek help. From this site, and also from AA. I had to force myself to listen to people's suggestions and carry them through, because my AV and habit had my thinking hard-wired to thinking of alcohol as pretty much 'The Solution' to everything. Things started getting better for me from that point for a while (basically later on I stopped listening again for a while - I like to do things the hard way - and treated myself to a few months of proper misery before I dug that willingness back out and became teachable again so that people could help me, but that was further down the line).

Please, please stick with sobriety, but explore things that can help you. Just removing alcohol without putting other strategies in its place rarely works. Dee has some great links for making a plan - I think they might be in the Stickies area at the top of the page (not sure though, sorry).

Welcome IQWID

A great analogy since the compulsion to drink and the compulsion to find air when you can't breathe are controlled by the same area of the brain. Anxiety, panic, agitation, etc. all common in early sobriety. An addicted brain reacts as if it is missing something it needs to survive, compelling us to go get it.

Unlike the air, if you don't get the drink you get better, not worse. :)

Sorry you're having a rough time. Congrats on 51 days. :You_Rock_

Congratulations on 51 days! I hope your sleep improves.

Perhaps the worst part of early sobriety for me was the insomnia. And I had baseline insomnia anyways so getting my sleep cycle straightened out was very important. One thing that helped is I just told myself that not getting enough sleep wasn't going to kill me. Yes, it made me feel like crap sometimes, but I knew I had to find a way through it without using. One of the best things I have found to combat insomnia is to just start getting up earlier and staying up, even if I feel tired. Also, stay busy throughout the day. Also, if there is something "hanging over my head" that is bothering me, take a look at those things and problem solve to get them resolved. If there is something going on in my life that is robbing me of peace, figure out what that is and DO something about it. But, truly, the longer you stay sober the better shape your brain will be in and your sleep cycle should get better.

Welcome to the Forum IQuitWishIDidnt!! :wave: