Trying for 30 Days.........
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 9
Trying for 30 Days.........
This is my first post!! I just joined last night! I've been reading threads and decided the only thing to do, is jump right in. First question: is this how I start a "journal"? Or do I do that privately?
Some years ago I successfully quit smoking, with the help of on online support group (that was waaay before I ever had a drinking problem). I've been wondering for a while if there was something similar for drinking...so I looked, and here I am. I honestly don't know how I got here, or why I need to be here. How did this become an actual issue for me, to have to seek out help? I have no other addictions, I've always been health conscious, and the majority of my life I've not even enjoyed drinking.
About 6 or 7 years ago, a girl I carpooled to work with had a knack for wanting to get "road sodas" after work quit a bit. The first time she mentioned it, I had no clue what she was even talking about. But after a few months, I really enjoyed it. Her and I would try to slam 2 beers before we got home a couple times a week, as we had families that we had to go straight home too. I started drinking a little more regularily after that. She would come over and garden with beers, we would stain our decks with beers....etc etc. Fast forward a few months......I left my husband. This was actually not a depressing time in my life, as he and I didn't get a long at all. I had wanted to leave him everyday for at least 3 years. I finally got the push when the ACTUAL love of my life came back into my life. Long story but I left my husband and haven't looked back.
I've sense gotten remarried to my true love and I wouldn't change that for anything. We have my daughter from the previous marriage half-time, a house, two dogs, two nice cars, good jobs, and I was recently able to fullfil a lifelong dream of owning my own horse. I have a lot to live for and be happy about, and i am. So this has nothing to do with being depressed or trying to drown out parts of my life.
We drink and have a relaxing time. He drinks. That's what we have done together since we got back together. It's fun. We go shoot darts, we golf, we visit family/friends -- all with beer. We don't drink ALL day, but we will have a few each night after work, and probably start at 1:30ish on the weekend and go until 9:30-10pm. We aren't bar hoppers, we tend to sit home a lot. But drinking is a part of each day.
I'm finding that I can't go a single day without having a drink anymore. And once I start, I'll keep going until I have a really nice size buzz. I take my drinks to bed on the nightstand while I surf facebook, etc. I know I have a problem that will only get worse. I am starting to have to plan my day around my night/weekend drinking.
On Janauary 1st, I made a resolution to go 30 days without drinking. I actually made it 9. I was so impressed, I had a beer. lol....And I haven't been able to go more than a day without it since. I just don't understand why this is taking so much out of me! I keep trying for 30 over and over and over.....If I could just make it that far, maybe I could keep going....
Some years ago I successfully quit smoking, with the help of on online support group (that was waaay before I ever had a drinking problem). I've been wondering for a while if there was something similar for drinking...so I looked, and here I am. I honestly don't know how I got here, or why I need to be here. How did this become an actual issue for me, to have to seek out help? I have no other addictions, I've always been health conscious, and the majority of my life I've not even enjoyed drinking.
About 6 or 7 years ago, a girl I carpooled to work with had a knack for wanting to get "road sodas" after work quit a bit. The first time she mentioned it, I had no clue what she was even talking about. But after a few months, I really enjoyed it. Her and I would try to slam 2 beers before we got home a couple times a week, as we had families that we had to go straight home too. I started drinking a little more regularily after that. She would come over and garden with beers, we would stain our decks with beers....etc etc. Fast forward a few months......I left my husband. This was actually not a depressing time in my life, as he and I didn't get a long at all. I had wanted to leave him everyday for at least 3 years. I finally got the push when the ACTUAL love of my life came back into my life. Long story but I left my husband and haven't looked back.
I've sense gotten remarried to my true love and I wouldn't change that for anything. We have my daughter from the previous marriage half-time, a house, two dogs, two nice cars, good jobs, and I was recently able to fullfil a lifelong dream of owning my own horse. I have a lot to live for and be happy about, and i am. So this has nothing to do with being depressed or trying to drown out parts of my life.
We drink and have a relaxing time. He drinks. That's what we have done together since we got back together. It's fun. We go shoot darts, we golf, we visit family/friends -- all with beer. We don't drink ALL day, but we will have a few each night after work, and probably start at 1:30ish on the weekend and go until 9:30-10pm. We aren't bar hoppers, we tend to sit home a lot. But drinking is a part of each day.
I'm finding that I can't go a single day without having a drink anymore. And once I start, I'll keep going until I have a really nice size buzz. I take my drinks to bed on the nightstand while I surf facebook, etc. I know I have a problem that will only get worse. I am starting to have to plan my day around my night/weekend drinking.
On Janauary 1st, I made a resolution to go 30 days without drinking. I actually made it 9. I was so impressed, I had a beer. lol....And I haven't been able to go more than a day without it since. I just don't understand why this is taking so much out of me! I keep trying for 30 over and over and over.....If I could just make it that far, maybe I could keep going....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,878
Welcome! I'm new here too...this is a great place to be 
It's good that you're recognizing your actions and not in denial. You'll find lots of great people here and awesome support. Taking it one day at a time is important.....you'd benefit from the 24 hour forum, where you check in once a day to commit to 24 hours of sobriety....and reading everyone else's posts is so helpful!!! Glad you're here
It's good that you're recognizing your actions and not in denial. You'll find lots of great people here and awesome support. Taking it one day at a time is important.....you'd benefit from the 24 hour forum, where you check in once a day to commit to 24 hours of sobriety....and reading everyone else's posts is so helpful!!! Glad you're here
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Well, you're here, that's a good thing! Welcome.
Alcoholism is definitely a progressive disease, and you are making a very smart decision! It does get worse, and worse. Keep reading, keep posting, you can do it. Is your husband on board? It's not necessary for him to quit too, but it does make it a lot easier if he would abstain from drinking at home, especially in the early days.
Alcoholism is definitely a progressive disease, and you are making a very smart decision! It does get worse, and worse. Keep reading, keep posting, you can do it. Is your husband on board? It's not necessary for him to quit too, but it does make it a lot easier if he would abstain from drinking at home, especially in the early days.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 9
Unfortunatley no, I doubt he would ever quit drinking. His drinking goes much farther back then mine does. Although, I may inspire him to want to quit....that would be nice. He doesn't force it on me though, and there isn't any situation we would be in together where I would have to drink with him. He was supportive the last time I tried to quit.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome to SR, tryingfor30. As your story about starting out with a drink on the way home from work leading to drinking every day to the point of having to take drinks into the bedroom with you shows, this addiction is progressive. I hope you're able to reach your goal of 30 days and decide this is a better way of life and keep going with it. I can tell you from MUCH experience that your drinking won't magically get better if you start again on day 31. You'll pick up right where you left it off.
Anyways, glad you're here and hope you'll check in often. The support to be found here is amazing. Recovery is a better way of life.
Anyways, glad you're here and hope you'll check in often. The support to be found here is amazing. Recovery is a better way of life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-117-a.html
I'm new at this, but you definitely want to join the 24 hour thread. It has really helped me be accountable. You promise not to drink for 24 hours. I actually look forward to getting to post there every day. Welcome tryingfor30.
I'm new at this, but you definitely want to join the 24 hour thread. It has really helped me be accountable. You promise not to drink for 24 hours. I actually look forward to getting to post there every day. Welcome tryingfor30.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
Welcome Trying for30
You can make this your journal thread if you want feedback, or you could start a blog and have that either public, so everyone can read, or private so that only you can read it.
I found that being part of a community really made the difference for me - I hope you'll find the same too
D
You can make this your journal thread if you want feedback, or you could start a blog and have that either public, so everyone can read, or private so that only you can read it.
I found that being part of a community really made the difference for me - I hope you'll find the same too
D
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Hi and welcome,
I was having my cake and eating it too, but the booze started catching up w me.
I have a nice military pention, working a well paying easy job, nice family.
I drank pretty hard for 13 years and drank a lot for about 20 before that. Started serious binging at 17...quit at 50.
I think it took about 5 years of pretty hard drinking before the brain damage started to become noticeable. I would have long hang overs, anxiety rushes, sleeping issues etc. I chalked it up to work stress....
But, I was uneducated. No internet back then really. Now I know it was all...100% booze related.
I got clean and am healing. I suffered fiercely. Still suffer some, but I am 100% drug free today.
Alcohol is poison. Don't believe the hype.
Respect that you are an addict. It takes about a week clean for the crave and anxiety to ramp up. I sure could use a cold one. Etc is a detox crave and it is a relapse....
The longer you drink, the deeper the hole is to get out. Some never get out. Many are on anti d.s for the rest of their lives.
Your call. I vote quit.
I was having my cake and eating it too, but the booze started catching up w me.
I have a nice military pention, working a well paying easy job, nice family.
I drank pretty hard for 13 years and drank a lot for about 20 before that. Started serious binging at 17...quit at 50.
I think it took about 5 years of pretty hard drinking before the brain damage started to become noticeable. I would have long hang overs, anxiety rushes, sleeping issues etc. I chalked it up to work stress....
But, I was uneducated. No internet back then really. Now I know it was all...100% booze related.
I got clean and am healing. I suffered fiercely. Still suffer some, but I am 100% drug free today.
Alcohol is poison. Don't believe the hype.
Respect that you are an addict. It takes about a week clean for the crave and anxiety to ramp up. I sure could use a cold one. Etc is a detox crave and it is a relapse....
The longer you drink, the deeper the hole is to get out. Some never get out. Many are on anti d.s for the rest of their lives.
Your call. I vote quit.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Purplrks3647 
Welcome! I'm new here too...this is a great place to be
It's good that you're recognizing your actions and not in denial. You'll find lots of great people here and awesome support. Taking it one day at a time is important.....you'd benefit from the 24 hour forum, where you check in once a day to commit to 24 hours of sobriety....and reading everyone else's posts is so helpful!!! Glad you're here
It's good that you're recognizing your actions and not in denial. You'll find lots of great people here and awesome support. Taking it one day at a time is important.....you'd benefit from the 24 hour forum, where you check in once a day to commit to 24 hours of sobriety....and reading everyone else's posts is so helpful!!! Glad you're here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 9
Thanks for all the welcomes and warm wishes! I will be sure to check out the 24 Hour Thread.
Today is DAY 3 (YAY!!), and I feel good. My drive to work today was great. I reflected on the fact that I didn't still feel drunk and I was calm and relaxed. I remember that feeling from my 9-day sober stretch back in January. It felt great. ......I'm really not looking forward to those cravings in a week though! But with what I'm learning from all you, I'll remind myself its a trap! I'll only get deeper into addiction if I drink!
I'm feeling hopeful. I made plans for......and get this......taking my daughter and her friend to a concert Saturday night!! Whhhaaatt??? The "drinking-me" would've had no part in that. There's no way I could make those plans with my drinking schedule. But now I figure a) it will keep me busy and not give me the opportunity to drink and b) gives me something new and fun to do while I work my way out of this hole. Plus I've never been to a concert.
So....this is what I have going for me right now. No plans to drink tonight but I will check in again later Happy Wednesday!
Today is DAY 3 (YAY!!), and I feel good. My drive to work today was great. I reflected on the fact that I didn't still feel drunk and I was calm and relaxed. I remember that feeling from my 9-day sober stretch back in January. It felt great.
It takes about a week clean for the crave and anxiety to ramp up. I sure could use a cold one. Etc is a detox crave and it is a relapse....
I'm feeling hopeful. I made plans for......and get this......taking my daughter and her friend to a concert Saturday night!! Whhhaaatt??? The "drinking-me" would've had no part in that. There's no way I could make those plans with my drinking schedule. But now I figure a) it will keep me busy and not give me the opportunity to drink and b) gives me something new and fun to do while I work my way out of this hole. Plus I've never been to a concert.
So....this is what I have going for me right now. No plans to drink tonight but I will check in again later
Happy Wednesday!
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,706
Welcome to SR. It is a great place to learn all about addiction and recovery from people who have been where you have been. There is no judgement only help and understanding so feel free to post anything you need to. There is always someone 24/7 . It is a real comfort. ♡ CR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 9
Day 4
I'm continually trying to reflect on each part of my day sober. What's different? What's better/worse? Am I happier or unhappy? How will I be in the future without drinking? Can I go without drinking in areas of my life where drinking has been integral?
What I find, is that there isn't a single part of my life that needs booze. Ever. Even though my husband has a few drinks at night, it doesn't have to affect me. Unless I let it. I find that I can participate in our nightly conversations WITHOUT the alcohol in my drink, and still have a good time. The only difference is that I remember what we talked about the next day. Gee....that doesn't sound like a disappointment to me!
I'm feeling clearer at work, clearer at home at night, clearer laying in bed at night....and clearer waking up.
I've beat addiction in the past (smoking) and I know this is a mind game I play on myself. I'm not having physical withdrawals, so any cravings are all mental. And they come and go just as quickly as I let them. SR is really helping me keep things in perspective at night too, when I would normally be having my cocktails.
Tonight after work, I'll pick my daughter up from her grandma's, run home and change, then hit the barn to work with my horse. I'll go home, make dinner and then watch Netflix and read threads here until I go to bed. Then I'll do the same thing all over again tomorrow! ahah.
I'm continually trying to reflect on each part of my day sober. What's different? What's better/worse? Am I happier or unhappy? How will I be in the future without drinking? Can I go without drinking in areas of my life where drinking has been integral?
What I find, is that there isn't a single part of my life that needs booze. Ever. Even though my husband has a few drinks at night, it doesn't have to affect me. Unless I let it. I find that I can participate in our nightly conversations WITHOUT the alcohol in my drink, and still have a good time. The only difference is that I remember what we talked about the next day. Gee....that doesn't sound like a disappointment to me!
I'm feeling clearer at work, clearer at home at night, clearer laying in bed at night....and clearer waking up.
I've beat addiction in the past (smoking) and I know this is a mind game I play on myself. I'm not having physical withdrawals, so any cravings are all mental. And they come and go just as quickly as I let them. SR is really helping me keep things in perspective at night too, when I would normally be having my cocktails.
Tonight after work, I'll pick my daughter up from her grandma's, run home and change, then hit the barn to work with my horse. I'll go home, make dinner and then watch Netflix and read threads here until I go to bed. Then I'll do the same thing all over again tomorrow! ahah.
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