Romanticising drinking scenarios already...HELP! :(
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
One of the best things that I learned from here was that thoughts are just thoughts. You don't have to act on any of them and they will pass. Stay close and use this place as much as possible and keep your eye on the ball. It will pay off.
Flex those sober muscles!!!
Flex those sober muscles!!!
Alcohol brought too many negative things for me to romanticize it. I know what would come with a brief window of pleasure- and that keeps me from being tempted by thoughts of "having a few in the sun,etc."
I would think about all the negative things alcohol does to you so that you're not only thinking about the brief window of pleasure alcohol gives you. Remember what it was that brought you to Sober Recovery.
I would think about all the negative things alcohol does to you so that you're not only thinking about the brief window of pleasure alcohol gives you. Remember what it was that brought you to Sober Recovery.
I'm finding that at almost 9 months, I'm getting those same thoughts with spring coming. The drinks on the deck, enjoying the beautiful day...
What's always been helping is remembering the REALITY of it, that those one or two relaxing drinks on a nice spring day are just lies my addiction is trying to seduce me with: the TRUTH is, I'd maybe enjoy the first one or two and then I would be off on a scary and painful ride I never planned to go on.
I know this is just momentary and will eventually pass since it's my first sober spring in about 5 years, so I just have to get through it. I know from past experience that it really is possible to enjoy life sober; it's just that I woke that beast up again.
What's always been helping is remembering the REALITY of it, that those one or two relaxing drinks on a nice spring day are just lies my addiction is trying to seduce me with: the TRUTH is, I'd maybe enjoy the first one or two and then I would be off on a scary and painful ride I never planned to go on.
I know this is just momentary and will eventually pass since it's my first sober spring in about 5 years, so I just have to get through it. I know from past experience that it really is possible to enjoy life sober; it's just that I woke that beast up again.
I think this is fairly normal in early recovery, and as someone else said they are just thoughts and they do pass. Its all part of the insanity of the illness, that mental obsession with alcohol 'oh wouldn't it be nice?!" Been there done that, I wound up drunk.
It does get easier. The one day a time thing helps for me whenever I feel like that. The achievement of getting through another day sober is immensely rewarding, I wouldn't swap that for guilt and regret, no way!
Alcohol is a poison to the alcoholic. There is nothing fun or nice about it. Keep that in mind x x x x
It does get easier. The one day a time thing helps for me whenever I feel like that. The achievement of getting through another day sober is immensely rewarding, I wouldn't swap that for guilt and regret, no way!
Alcohol is a poison to the alcoholic. There is nothing fun or nice about it. Keep that in mind x x x x
Here is a good visual to keep in mind whenever you start romanticizing the drinking and visualizing it in a positive way.
Sure puts a damper to the glamour right? You could even keep it in your wallet as a flashcard for whenever you think about a very nice cold drink in a wonderful setting (they have some much more graphic images too.)
Sure puts a damper to the glamour right? You could even keep it in your wallet as a flashcard for whenever you think about a very nice cold drink in a wonderful setting (they have some much more graphic images too.)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Hang in there. I still get thoughts like that but I'm fully aware it's the a**hole AV trying to stir things up! Just put out all the rose tinted glasses & remember WHY ur here. None of us r here because we had 1 or 2 times where we acted like an idiot, we're here because booze causes us problems.
I know what u mean about the seasons changing, today was 1 of the 1st days I haven't worn a coat.......last yrs I would have made an excuse & bought 2 bottles of wine (because the sun's out) & got trashed at home. However....I would have also woken the next day, absolutely hanging & wondering how I got to bed! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!
I know what u mean about the seasons changing, today was 1 of the 1st days I haven't worn a coat.......last yrs I would have made an excuse & bought 2 bottles of wine (because the sun's out) & got trashed at home. However....I would have also woken the next day, absolutely hanging & wondering how I got to bed! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!
Wow. Thank you everyone for all of your wonderful comments....they are very helpful, and I can see that they are very helpful to others here, too!! I have to reread these posts...there is a lot of wisdom in them.
I haven't drank yet. omg. Why did I say "yet"??? I am still sober, as I plan to be.... forever........but it was hard for me to write that. Like my AV doesn't think that's a good idea lol. Well tough luck, AV - I know better - you're just a childish, manipulative abusive thing. I know better. ANYWAY.
Thanks for all the comments....comment more even, if you'd like!! This romanticising thing is so difficult to get through/out of..... it seems to come from all different angles......so we need to be prepared for them....aaagh.
I haven't drank yet. omg. Why did I say "yet"??? I am still sober, as I plan to be.... forever........but it was hard for me to write that. Like my AV doesn't think that's a good idea lol. Well tough luck, AV - I know better - you're just a childish, manipulative abusive thing. I know better. ANYWAY.
Thanks for all the comments....comment more even, if you'd like!! This romanticising thing is so difficult to get through/out of..... it seems to come from all different angles......so we need to be prepared for them....aaagh.
Thanks for sharing, Layali....I get those thoughts all the time! I try to associate it with going through an ugly breakup. I'm just in another toxic relationship with something that does nothing but ruin my life. Those weak moments - "missing" that person (or drink) it SUCKS! Now being single for a while, I think, why didn't I do this sooner??? I'm hoping something similar applies to alcohol (?)
Does that even make any sense? LOL Anyway, let's all stick close to SR and get through this crap together!
Does that even make any sense? LOL Anyway, let's all stick close to SR and get through this crap together!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 24
I do this too, you're not alone. But then I remember how horrible I felt the mornings after a blackout. Wondering where the last three hours of the night went and what arguments I got into, who I hurt, how badly I abused the poor bartender for cutting me off. How I lost friends because I offended and embarrassed them one too many times. I just play the tape through--all the way to the next morning, the day after that, the day after that, etc. My life was horrible when I was drinking. Not getting out of bed for two days because of shame and embarrassment is far away from romantic!
Stay strong.
Stay strong.
Hi
As others have said, the key is to be honest with yourself, and recognise your AV's lies for what they are. Lies.
If you are at all like most of us, you don't want to sit on the deck drinking one cold beer in the Spring sunshine. If that's all you wanted to do you wouldn't be here. You know one drink wouldn't do the trick. Or even getting a buzz going from 2 or 3, and then stopping. Again, if that's all you genuinely wanted to do, you wouldn't be here. It's a fantasy. And your AV knows that, it's just hoping it can trick you into believing that fantasy.
The fact is, on a warm Spring or Summer afternoon on the deck, a nice fruit juice with soda water, or fresh lemonade, or an ice tea, all taste better and are more refreshing than alcohol. When was the last time you needed 6 pints of water in 2 hours to quench your thirst? Booze doesn't do any of the things our alcoholic minds think it does (try reading Allen Carr's How to Control Your Drinking, he does a great job of showing why that's true). Playing the tape forward sure helps, but just being completely honest with yourself about what you really want when you have those thoughts might do the trick.
As others have said, the key is to be honest with yourself, and recognise your AV's lies for what they are. Lies.
If you are at all like most of us, you don't want to sit on the deck drinking one cold beer in the Spring sunshine. If that's all you wanted to do you wouldn't be here. You know one drink wouldn't do the trick. Or even getting a buzz going from 2 or 3, and then stopping. Again, if that's all you genuinely wanted to do, you wouldn't be here. It's a fantasy. And your AV knows that, it's just hoping it can trick you into believing that fantasy.
The fact is, on a warm Spring or Summer afternoon on the deck, a nice fruit juice with soda water, or fresh lemonade, or an ice tea, all taste better and are more refreshing than alcohol. When was the last time you needed 6 pints of water in 2 hours to quench your thirst? Booze doesn't do any of the things our alcoholic minds think it does (try reading Allen Carr's How to Control Your Drinking, he does a great job of showing why that's true). Playing the tape forward sure helps, but just being completely honest with yourself about what you really want when you have those thoughts might do the trick.
I had this a lot in my first days and maybe two-three weeks. (Today is day 36 for me.). But at some point then, while I still have those thoughts here and there, instead of reacting with a sense of loss of what will never be, my instinctive reaction switched to one of genuinely reminding myself that alcohol doesn't serve me well. Period. And the romanticize get ends.
Related to this as well, don't let your brain suck you into that possible day in the future. Focus on today... That is what is in your control. I always thought it was hokey before but what finally is making sense and supporting me is thinking only of one day at a time, and I start each day committing to myself that today I will not drink.
((Hugs)). It slowly does start to get better.
Related to this as well, don't let your brain suck you into that possible day in the future. Focus on today... That is what is in your control. I always thought it was hokey before but what finally is making sense and supporting me is thinking only of one day at a time, and I start each day committing to myself that today I will not drink.
((Hugs)). It slowly does start to get better.
Great thread Layali! I've been having the romantic fantasies of having just one or two drinks with a lovely meal, like the cherry on the ice cream. But all I can say is that I have been there, done that, and don't need to tell y'all where that lovely meal ended up. Take all the advice on here and with every romantic thought of alcohol, force yourself to conjure up a very ugly thought - you are sure to have plenty, so jot them down and keep them close at hand, just in case the AV trues to drown them out!
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