"I never thought you were a lush"
 

Those are the words my husband said to me today. We were on our way to a lunch date at a swanky restaurant. We had a gift card which some friends gave us for our wedding and he wondered why they gave us such a big amount. I told him probably because they bought it while I was still drinking and figured the big lush would want to order a bottle of wine.

Then he said those words and even added: "I never thought you were anything other than a normal drinker. There were only a few times you got out of hand."

I practically had to pick my jaw up off the floor. Even at almost 19 months sober the cunning AV perked up. "See. We had them all fooled. Even him and he knows you better than anyone. All that sneaking around, lying and hiding paid off. We did it. We didn't even have to stop."

But because I'm almost 19 months sober I shut that monster down as soon as she slithered up to me. I thought about how sad it made me that I lied so much and so often to the man I love - my partner and best friend. Then I thought about how much I lied to myself. I was so, so sick.

I shrugged and then he added: "I'm so proud of you though. You made a decision you felt best for you, you stuck with it and you've never seemed happier."

He's right. I don't think I've ever been more happy and content in my adult life. Sobriety just keeps on giving. And today, I couldn't be more grateful for it.

A beautiful post, Hearts.

Thank you for sharing not only your story, but your ability to put it all into wise perspective. You have given us all a good look at approaching our lives, then and now, with the keen insight that comes with sobriety and keeps us in recovery.

You're a good friend to our world here on SR. I consider us lucky to have you in our community, friend.

Hearts you are one amazing Lady - congrats on 19 months

Congratulations, Hearts! :) :) :)

I know what you mean. My husband is very glad that I'm sober, and he's expressed his admiration for what I've done to get better. It feels good!

Thanks for the inspiring post, Hearts!

I hope you had a great lunch date :)

Thanks as always for the thought provoking post HAF.
Still beggars belief for me too....but I know which life I want to live :)

Congrats on 19 months :)

Great post Hearts. I remember your first post and it doesn't seem that long ago. You are pulling it off girl!

Our addiction is always looking for an opportunity to convince us of it's lies. It is a great day when we realize they are lies and they disappear like a wisp of smoke as soon as we challenge them

Congrats on 19 months sober! :scoregood For me, waking up feeling good never gets old. :)

Great post-HAF....congrats on 19 months.
That term 'Lush" is awful .......