fdwalzjr

Hello there. I've been an active binge drinker for probably 15 years, give or take.

June 2014 I had a very scary incident at Walmart picking up lunch. My heart started beating very, very fast and strange, and I got lightheaded and my hands became cold and clammy. It lasted maybe 10-20 seconds. I made it back to work, and it happened again. I then asked a coworker to drive me to the ER. What caused it? Drinking. I had binged the night before. In fact, the doctor called it "holiday heart". It's arrhythmia caused by heavy alcohol consumption. It was that very moment that I stopped drinking (and therefore also stopped smoking, since I only smoke when I drink).

Just to be safe, I saw a cardiologist and had several heart tests done including a stress test. I started exercising, eating right and working on projects to keep my mind busy. I lost 40 lbs in 3 months, and felt GREAT.

I was dry for several months, until the winter began. At first, I would allow myself some red wine on occasion, no more than 3 glasses and no smoking. It wasn't long before everything I had worked so hard for completely went out the window.

It's been about a year and half since I fell off the wagon. I'm binge drinking 3+ times a week again (and smoking). I'm constantly eating comfort food. I stopped exercising. I gained back over 30 lbs. And I feel miserable. Absolutely miserable.

I've gotten to the point that I don't care how I look. I don't cut, color or style my hair anymore. I wear the same, large nylon shorts and sweatshirt every day to work. I go a day or two without showering, or brushing my teeth. At home, I'm a couch potato (unless I'm drinking, then I'm more active: cleaning, working on things, being social, etc.).

Back in July 2014, my doctor had prescribed me Klonopin (anti-anxiety) to take as-needed for anxiety due to the heart issues. Now, I still use the Klonopin, but to make my hangover feel better. I'm frequently up late, and therefore late to work. Or, I call out sick all together.

After the New Year, I decided that I need to get back on the straight and narrow. I purchased a George Foreman-esque indoor grill. I purchased a juicer and nutrient blender. I purchased an elliptical machine and a tread-climber. I haven't used any of it.

One thing I really enjoy doing is walking, and that's how I kept myself healthy last time. I'd walk 5+ miles a day after work instead of wine, fried chicken and Netflix. I'm hoping now that the warm weather is approaching, I can start walking again, and everything else will fall into place like it did before. I pray it does.

What brought me to this site in the first place was I was searching for the effects of alcohol on one's blood pressure after binge drinking, because mine today was 147/95, and it scared me. It's dropped now as I'm typing this to 143/90. I'm so uncomfortable, both physically and mentally.

I can't do this anymore. I'm killing myself.

Thanks for listening.

OldTomato

Welcome to SR. Well done for realising that you can't do this to yourself anymore. Do you have a plan for what you're going to do now?

Soberwolf

Welcome Fdwalzjr

Coldfusion

It might be best to see a doctor about detoxing, especially since you have had an adverse reaction in the past. At least is there someone nearby who could help get you to the ER if needed?

least

Welcome to the family. I too had some scary withdrawal episodes. I'd suggest getting your doctor's help in getting safely thru detox. After you've detoxed, you'll need a plan for staying sober.

I hope we can help you get sober for good.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, fdwalzjr; I hope that the support, encouragement and Understanding that you find here will help you to achieve lasting sobriety and full recovery.

Glad you found us.

SoberLeigh

Following up on least's words about the need for plan, here is a great link to a SR thread on that topic:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst

ccam1973

Welcome fdwalzjr. Sounds like you've got a lot of good reasons to quit. My health was one of my main reasons for quitting too; that and my family.

My bp was around 140/95 when I was on my meds and way higher when I was off of my medicine. After six months of being sober and loosing some weight my doctor took me off of the BP meds.

You can do this. You were sober for several months and know what it takes. Now you just have to get back there and tweak your plan for the long run. You absolutely can break this cycle.

Dropsie

Its so not worth dying.

And that is what we are talking about.

You can do this, you did do this, so go for it.

We got your back.

LesPaul1993

Welcome. Stay connected with the stuff that will keep you moving toward your goals, like SR.

emme99

Hi & Welcome fdwalzjr

LostLilly

Hello,

My blood pressure was a lot higher when I was drinking or hungover/withdrawing. I am only at 20 days and my blood pressure is way under 120/80.

Lilly

nova84

Wishing you well x

Mrskw

Welcome to SR, I glad you found your way here.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I think it's great that you like walking. Walking has played a huge role in my recovery and in my life. I walk miles every day.

Dee74

Welcome fdwalzjr

some great advice here already - I absolutely recommend you see your DR, especially if your concerned about any aspect of your health.

Apart from that, do you have any ideas on a plan to stay sober?

D

thomas11

Hi fdwalzjr, it sounds like the first signs of what alcohol does to our health is starting to show. It sounds like you've had some serious sober time before, I hope you are able to do it again.

loulou1981

Hey, welcome. Wow, u did so well before, so u know ur capable of it. But perhaps this time u must accept u cannot drink at all, not even 1 sip as u know where it leads, good luck & keep posting