I'm trying
 

I have had my major eff ups but I'm trying. I'm currently working on redoing my entire house to keep me busy. I don't want you all to give up on me because I haven't given up on myself. I have had some major downs this weekend. My 8 year old told me she was sad that me and daddy were fighting on Saturday....I have no recall of that. But she will forever... I just need to stop.

I'm keeping busy but I typically go to bed by 10. I'm up a little later because I had some cheesy reality shows that I wanted to watch. I'm heading to bed and I'm good. Is it stupid that I'm repainting my whole house because I want a new feel and a calmer evening?

I've heard of less productive things to do :)

Try and not worry about your daughter remembering - fill her head with good memories of a sober dad in the years to come and you can make last week a blip Pooky :)

D

Hang in there, Pookie!:grouphug:

It will get better, the longer you're sober. :)

Hope the decorating goes well Pookie

Let this be your wake up call.

Your family needs you and they deserve better.

Do you have a plan?

Use this place as much as you need to. It has really made a difference for me.

When we're actively drinking, we feel trapped and helpless, so when we stop, tackling something we can control is amazingly therapeutic. I'm painting my garage these days..it's onky needed it for oh, 15 years?

Paint away!

I don't have a plan. I wonder if I'm actually just unhappy in my marriage a drink to compensate. I gave up a great career to stay home with the kids. If I change it then I have very limited choices based on how long I have been home and my level of education. Some college doesn't cut it anymore. Plus I don't want a 90 minute commute each way. Maybe I drink because I'm so unhappy.

i think if I quit drinking then I need to understand that my marriage is over

And I have no ability to support my kids

One thing at a time. Right now, you need to focus all of your efforts on getting and stating sober. Everything else will be easier to sort out when you are comfortable in your sobriety. To use a tired old metaphor, you can't worry about draining the swamp until you finish wrestling the alligators. Godd luck with the painting, and congratulations on the decision to work for your sobriety.

I, too, started questioning my marriage after I got sober. I've also had extreme emotions and overreactions since getting sober. I have created 25 years of damage. I realize that my brain is going to need time to heal and I will make no major decisions for at least a year, more likely 2.
Give yourself time to heal. It's way too early.

It's going to be ok Pookie you won't be doing this alone I promise

xx

Good Morning Pookie,

Right now just focus on staying sober. Painting is a great distraction, and you will have a nice calm space when finished. Are all of your kids in school? Do you have any hobbies/activities (besides the current redecorating) that are just for you?

Looking forward to seeing you around on SR!

❤️ Delilah