I can't do this again
 

I don't think I have another withdrawal in me.
After this one that is.

I read something today, not sure what post, but it was along the lines of being harder to keep drinking than stop. I wasn't enjoying any of it the last few days, pure maintenance to keep this awful agony away.

Riding it out now, going into day 2, yet again. It really is painfully clear to me that withdrawal does get worse each time. I probably should have been in the hospital that first night, but I'm riding it out at home.

I was at that point once, too.

It sounds like you're ready to make recovery work.

Hang in there. You need this--for you.

Medical detox, is it an option? Followed by rehab if you need it? Which, if I'm honest, you would need given what you've written and how you wrote it.

Rehab is something I've been researching, but I'm just not sure. If that's what it takes, that's what I'll do.

What are you not sure about?

Admitting to my job is probably the biggest hold up.

Would your job security be at stake? Or is it more that you have to tell some people that you need treatment?

Also, if you quit your job and went to rehab, how good are your chances at getting a new job?

Yes, I think job security would be at risk. Maybe not right when I got back due to laws and such, but soon thereafter. My field is fairly expansive but I'm not sure, took me 9 months to get this one. I just need to think about it

I think many of us can relate. I went through what I guess would be classified as moderate, borderline severe withdrawal twice. Never want to do it again. Glad you are hanging tough. I wouldn't hesitate to call for help or have someone stay with you if you can.

I got sober without rehab so I know it's possible. I did spend 3 days in a hospital setting getting medically detoxed, but two of those days were a weekend so it was pretty easy not to tell my employer.

But you need to have a serious program, outpatient, therapy, counseling, AA or whatever.

If you've just been trying to get sober by yourself, like a lot of us try to do, it's very difficult.

Understandable. The reality is, if you don't quit drinking, your job will be in danger. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and eventually you may lose your job because of it.

The most important part is that you never drink again.

Read that again.

If you started doing that, never drinking, you would be done.

But the title of your post is: "I can't do this again." That indicates a struggle. A struggle where there is none. Except in your mind.

Quit. Period.

I'm day two also, and feel like I'm shriveling up. I'm hearing a train horn in my left ear and Joey Diaz in the other.

Going to eat a chicken pot pie, drink a sprite, and drink water in bed all night 'till it feels better in the morning. Today was productive. Evening doesn't feel good for a while. It'll pass.