Finally being honest with myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 2
Finally being honest with myself
Hello all!
I'm FINALLY going to be honest w myself and admit my addiction to drinking is bigger then me. It's so scarey to say/think. Both my sister and brother are in recovery along w many extended family members. I don't know why I have been in denial- thinking I was "different". I look back at all the failed relationships and all the situations that I have put myself in with just alcohol as my counterpart and I feel so embarrassed and ashamed!! I hide it from everyone-except those closest to me can't help but see the mess I become when I drink because they usually get the brunt end of the drunk me. Hint why all the failed relationships...I can't name one positive thing that comes from me drinking, but yet the thought of never having a drink again is the scariest thing for me to say/think. I'm not ready to tell my family even though I know they would be nothing but supportive and have an abundance of resources for me, I'm hoping to gain a lot from you all!! Thank you for any and all support as I will need it, here's to making it through Day #1!!
I'm FINALLY going to be honest w myself and admit my addiction to drinking is bigger then me. It's so scarey to say/think. Both my sister and brother are in recovery along w many extended family members. I don't know why I have been in denial- thinking I was "different". I look back at all the failed relationships and all the situations that I have put myself in with just alcohol as my counterpart and I feel so embarrassed and ashamed!! I hide it from everyone-except those closest to me can't help but see the mess I become when I drink because they usually get the brunt end of the drunk me. Hint why all the failed relationships...I can't name one positive thing that comes from me drinking, but yet the thought of never having a drink again is the scariest thing for me to say/think. I'm not ready to tell my family even though I know they would be nothing but supportive and have an abundance of resources for me, I'm hoping to gain a lot from you all!! Thank you for any and all support as I will need it, here's to making it through Day #1!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Welcome AAmanda. Reach out as often as you like here - there's always someone who can help. Have you researched the help available to you locally as well - maybe SMART or AA or similar?
PS Try just to think of the day that you're in rather than forever - you don't need to sort out mentally what you're going to do instead of drinking for every birthday; weekend; Xmas; bad day; good day; sunny day; rainy day; team win; team loss; birth; death and marriage in your future right now. Deal with those things when they come up. If you stay sober a day at a time, get a plan and work on your recovery, then you'll be ready for the future when it comes around.
You taken a big first step in recognising the problem, and coming here for support
PS Try just to think of the day that you're in rather than forever - you don't need to sort out mentally what you're going to do instead of drinking for every birthday; weekend; Xmas; bad day; good day; sunny day; rainy day; team win; team loss; birth; death and marriage in your future right now. Deal with those things when they come up. If you stay sober a day at a time, get a plan and work on your recovery, then you'll be ready for the future when it comes around.
You taken a big first step in recognising the problem, and coming here for support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 2
Thank you so much for the advice and perspective Beccybean
! That is exactly what I get worked up about-- all those upcoming drinking situations that I will be facing and HOW to handle-- I need a plan for sure!! Day 2 is TODAY and that's what I'm focused on-- RIGHT NOW!! Thanks again and so glad I found SR yesterday to help me along my journey!!!
! That is exactly what I get worked up about-- all those upcoming drinking situations that I will be facing and HOW to handle-- I need a plan for sure!! Day 2 is TODAY and that's what I'm focused on-- RIGHT NOW!! Thanks again and so glad I found SR yesterday to help me along my journey!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Originally Posted by Beccybean 
Welcome AAmanda. Reach out as often as you like here - there's always someone who can help. Have you researched the help available to you locally as well - maybe SMART or AA or similar? PS Try just to think of the day that you're in rather than forever - you don't need to sort out mentally what you're going to do instead of drinking for every birthday; weekend; Xmas; bad day; good day; sunny day; rainy day; team win; team loss; birth; death and marriage in your future right now. Deal with those things when they come up. If you stay sober a day at a time, get a plan and work on your recovery, then you'll be ready for the future when it comes around. You taken a big first step in recognising the problem, and coming here for support
BB said it well. When I gave up booze, I had to re-train my brain from trying to control the daunting future, and focus on the things I have immediate influence over, the here and now. And I continue living that way today. It not only simplifies sobriety, it makes life in general much easier to handle.
Also, please look into creating "a plan." It's essential for your new journey.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Hi. It can feel overwhelming if you think about all the possible future situations and not drinking in them. But the good thing is that you only have to live this current moment. And you can choose to not drink in this current moment right? Live one breath at a time Amanda.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
