Can someone on here sponsor me?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Can someone on here sponsor me?
I got a lot of responses to my sponsor question. I'm in between. I don't want to start something I can't finish and I don't want to lie to someone and pretend like this stuff really works. On the other hand I'm laying in bed right now doing **** all. I have 43 days sober I think. Last night I was so anxious about going to a social engagement i couldn't stand it. I didn't use tho.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Are you going to AA? Do you have a copy of the big book? I really feel like you need to jump into recovery completely. Saying "I don't wanna start something I can't finish" makes me wonder if you area only half hearted about recovery. I urge you and invite you to jump in with two feet. Go to a meeting. Find a person of the same sex who has what you want in life (I don't mean $$ or prestige...but their outlook, sense of humor, serenity) and ask them to take you through the steps. I promise you that you will NOT regret it!
Suggestion:
Read pages 83-88 of the big book of AA every morning and take some time to meditate and talk to God when you wake up. Start slowly....2-3 minutes and build your way up.
Suggestion:
Read pages 83-88 of the big book of AA every morning and take some time to meditate and talk to God when you wake up. Start slowly....2-3 minutes and build your way up.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Pressmetilihurt 
I'm in between. I don't want to start something I can't finish and I don't want to lie to someone and pretend like this stuff really works.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
The exact same thing you describe above could happen whether you are dealing with a "virtual" sponsor or an in-person sponsor. I'd say get out of bed, clean yourself up, go to a meeting and see if anyone would be willing to help be your sponsor.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Bunny211
Are you going to AA? Do you have a copy of the big book? I really feel like you need to jump into recovery completely. Saying "I don't wanna start something I can't finish" makes me wonder if you area only half hearted about recovery. I urge you and invite you to jump in with two feet. Go to a meeting. Find a person of the same sex who has what you want in life (I don't mean $$ or prestige...but their outlook, sense of humor, serenity) and ask them to take you through the steps. I promise you that you will NOT regret it!
Suggestion:
Read pages 83-88 of the big book of AA every morning and take some time to meditate and talk to God when you wake up. Start slowly....2-3 minutes and build your way up.
Suggestion:
Read pages 83-88 of the big book of AA every morning and take some time to meditate and talk to God when you wake up. Start slowly....2-3 minutes and build your way up.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by Pressmetilihurt
I have been going to meetings every day. I'm committed to working at this. I just have doubts. I can read those pages. Can u tell me how to talk to God. Is it, "hello God. How's it going?"
I'm a very optimistic person, and I believe that comes from focusing on the good in my life. Of course, stuff happens, but I just give it to God, believe He will take care of it and wait for His response. Some times I'm led to action, some times I'm led to wait.
Hope you find your answers!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
What I do is be honest with God "God, I am really struggling with believing in you, turning to you for help. Can you please soften my heart....be with me today...help me be willing to trust and rely upon you ? Can you please walk by my side today and help me with my anxiety and fears? " I also started doing some searching for God on my own...reading the Bible and some books about forging a relationship with God. "Having A Personal Relationship With God" by Zelia Champ is a good starting point. You can buy it on amazon (kindle or paper version).
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by Pressmetilihurt
I have been going to meetings every day. I'm committed to working at this. I just have doubts. I can read those pages. Can u tell me how to talk to God. Is it, "hello God. How's it going?"
whatever works for you as long as it is sincere.
The main thing is to feel that you are not all alone and isolated on a little island of your own making but that you are part of something bigger than you....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
In the beginning I really used meetings and the people in it as my higher power. It took time for me to connect within and to others outside of me. Also, listening lots to other speakers speak on the steps helped me to figure out what works best for me in terms of working the steps.
I'd suggest maybe speaking to one of the people chairing a meeting whom you admired to help point you in the right direction.
In my early days I really pushed myself to introduce myself to people directly at every group before or after meetings. That was how I found my home group and got connected to my sponsor.
And I agree with carlotta. There is no right or wrong way to do it, take as many suggestions as you like until you find one that feels most natural or comfortable to you.
Good on you for being committed
I'd suggest maybe speaking to one of the people chairing a meeting whom you admired to help point you in the right direction.
In my early days I really pushed myself to introduce myself to people directly at every group before or after meetings. That was how I found my home group and got connected to my sponsor.
And I agree with carlotta. There is no right or wrong way to do it, take as many suggestions as you like until you find one that feels most natural or comfortable to you.
Good on you for being committed
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
A well known AA circuit speaker named Earl H was told by his sponsor to say two prayers initially. The first on awakening he simple said "whatever " before falling asleep he prayed "enough."
The third step prayer written In the big book is a beautiful prayer and evokes the essence of our program. It was suggested I memorize it and use it daily in my morning prayer.
Glad you're here posting
The third step prayer written In the big book is a beautiful prayer and evokes the essence of our program. It was suggested I memorize it and use it daily in my morning prayer.
Glad you're here posting
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by Pressmetilihurt
I have been going to meetings every day. I'm committed to working at this. I just have doubts. I can read those pages. Can u tell me how to talk to God. Is it, "hello God. How's it going?"
I doubt God would have any problem with saying something like that. Maybe you could also ask how the weather's up there.
As I said, I don't believe. But... if there is a God, I imagine him to be a person with all the traits humans have. Including a sense of humor. Including understanding your awkwardness and uncertainty about talking to him.
Just talk. As long as you don't say anything offensive, he won't be offended.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Delizadee
In the beginning I really used meetings and the people in it as my higher power. It took time for me to connect within and to others outside of me. Also, listening lots to other speakers speak on the steps helped me to figure out what works best for me in terms of working the steps.
I'd suggest maybe speaking to one of the people chairing a meeting whom you admired to help point you in the right direction.
In my early days I really pushed myself to introduce myself to people directly at every group before or after meetings. That was how I found my home group and got connected to my sponsor.
And I agree with carlotta. There is no right or wrong way to do it, take as many suggestions as you like until you find one that feels most natural or comfortable to you.
Good on you for being committed
I'd suggest maybe speaking to one of the people chairing a meeting whom you admired to help point you in the right direction.
In my early days I really pushed myself to introduce myself to people directly at every group before or after meetings. That was how I found my home group and got connected to my sponsor.
And I agree with carlotta. There is no right or wrong way to do it, take as many suggestions as you like until you find one that feels most natural or comfortable to you.
Good on you for being committed
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Have you hung around after the meetings and started to talk to people, getting to know them? That may help you find a sponsor. Also, having a F2F sponsor may be better, you can exchange phone numbers and you may have a better chance contacting them if something happens and you need immediate advice.
As to talking to God, talk from your heart. Even if you are angry at god and you respectfully explain this God will understand. God knows what is in your heart, so ...
Best wishes
As to talking to God, talk from your heart. Even if you are angry at god and you respectfully explain this God will understand. God knows what is in your heart, so ...
Best wishes
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Fly N Buy
A well known AA circuit speaker named Earl H was told by his sponsor to say two prayers initially. The first on awakening he simple said "whatever " before falling asleep he prayed "enough."
The third step prayer written In the big book is a beautiful prayer and evokes the essence of our program. It was suggested I memorize it and use it daily in my morning prayer.
Glad you're here posting
The third step prayer written In the big book is a beautiful prayer and evokes the essence of our program. It was suggested I memorize it and use it daily in my morning prayer.
Glad you're here posting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
I chose David Bowie as my higher power. But I end up feeling like I'm a letdown next to his creative genius. The traits I like about him:
Brutally honest
Risk taking
Sexy
Creative
Engaging
Curious about other people and ideas
Brutally honest
Risk taking
Sexy
Creative
Engaging
Curious about other people and ideas
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by Pressmetilihurt
I chose David Bowie as my higher power. But I end up feeling like I'm a letdown next to his creative genius. The traits I like about him:
Brutally honest
Risk taking
Sexy
Creative
Engaging
Curious about other people and ideas
Brutally honest
Risk taking
Sexy
Creative
Engaging
Curious about other people and ideas
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Originally Posted by Pressmetilihurt
Eek! That's a lot of introducing myself!
For me most meetings I went to I had so many people cone up to me and introduce themselves that it really helped me overcome my own social anxiety and take the initiative to introduce myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by MikeM
I mean this well but the part I put in bold had me laughing out loud. Mainly because it's just not true.
. I'm also glad you don't think it's true. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Delizadee
I am by no means suggesting you do that if you are experiencing social anxiety. But picking one person even that you feel comfortable enough to approach can open some doors for you.
For me most meetings I went to I had so many people cone up to me and introduce themselves that it really helped me overcome my own social anxiety and take the initiative to introduce myself.
For me most meetings I went to I had so many people cone up to me and introduce themselves that it really helped me overcome my own social anxiety and take the initiative to introduce myself.
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