Surround me with support please Really, really reaching out here. I'm terrified. Literally shaking. I fought for a good week of sobriety and failed at the first sign of anything remotely stressful yesterday. Not a full on bender but I just felt like a total failure when I woke this morning. So I sent my psychiatrist a text message at 8am asking him to call when he could. He called right away, literally within seconds of me sending the message. I was worried about sending it because he mentioned in passing that he has children so I figured it was the "out the door for school" chaos moment. But he called. I told him I was scared about my lack of ability to quit drinking and wanted to talk about rehab. I asked him if I could see him today which he said was impossible after looking at his calendar. But he called me about two hours later and said someone had cancelled so he fit me in. So I will go this afternoon and talk about options to find some more intensive help. I just can't do this anymore. I can't. I'm exhausted from the fight. I am so scared about going to rehab. I know some people feel relief and happy but I don't, I feel terrified. Please, please send me good wishes that I can make it through this appointment without lying, without undermining the issue and that I can be fully honest and accept the help I so need. I am scared I will get there and say I was overreacting and don't really need anything. But I need to ask for this. I have to go. I want this to stop. Please, please support me. |
Of course we support you. Be honest when you meet your psychiatrist, this is your life you are trying to save. I think the idea of rehab is a good one. You are struggling to do this alone and every relapse seems to send you further down the path of continued drinking. If at any point your psychiatrist doesn't think your problem is serious, think hard about what you've been telling him and if your addiction isn't angling for the "You can do this on your own" option, which is the easiest one for continued drinking. |
You're making the right decision. Please don't lie. I got to where you are, too. I had to go. Meraviglioso, it was so hard, but it was what I had to do to save my life. Be brave. It isn't easy but it's the right thing to do and you have to throw yourself into it even though you're afraid. Tell him that you need to go, and then once you're there, do not leave even when it's hard. I really, really think this is the right thing for you. :grouphug: And I will tell you that my first ten days in rehab I spent trying to convince people to let me leave. Thankfully people talked me into staying. So I know what you're talking about. I've never been so afraid. Don't give in to the fear. Do what you need to do for yourself. That fear is normal, and fighting through it is part of what will ultimately keep you sober, but you'll need the help. |
How long is it until your appointment? |
Set you a pm Mera x |
I support you with all my heart. I'm in the same spot as you are all afraid an anxious about everything, We need help, because it is too hard to do it on your own |
Dear Mera: Your SR family supports you all the way. We have your back always. Take this opportunity to be honest, learn a lot and move forward. We will be here rooting for you, ALWAYS!!! |
I'm very glad to hear from you and that you have talked to your psychiatrist. A suggestion? Before you leave for your appointment, read through your threads here and see everything you've been through and how unhappy drinking has made you. Then, right before you go in the room, look at a picture of your children. Rehab is the next right thing. Sending a big hug... |
Mera, please be fully honest with the doctor. I hope it goes well. Lots of support coming your way :grouphug: You can do this. |
Thank you everyone. I am a mess. I am so scared, but I am more scared about what will happen if I don't do this. I called my mom. As some of you may recall she did not come to me in a great time of need, I was very angry with her for this. But today I told her that I needed help, wanted help and made her promise that she will come to help take care of my kids while I am gone. The only thing that will give me peace is knowing that my kids will be well cared for. |
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
(Post 5838584)
Of course we support you. Be honest when you meet your psychiatrist, this is your life you are trying to save. I think the idea of rehab is a good one. You are struggling to do this alone and every relapse seems to send you further down the path of continued drinking. If at any point your psychiatrist doesn't think your problem is serious, think hard about what you've been telling him and if your addiction isn't angling for the "You can do this on your own" option, which is the easiest one for continued drinking. |
Mera, I can only speak for myself when I say that I've hoped rehab would be part of your journey. I hope that suitable arrangements can be made as soon as possible so that your new life in sobriety can begin. All the best to you. |
I'm so glad you reached out Mera Of course you're scared, but this is how you will beat this thing. :grouphug: |
I think being scared is normal, even healthy. Rehab is a big commitment and isn't all sunshine and rainbows. So a healthy amount of apprehension is realistic. Do it. Commit. Give over to the process and let those that know what to do help you. Pack smart....it helps to have things (comfy clothes, pillow, comforter from home etc) so you'll feel more at home. Its a few weeks of your life and will give you a strong foundation to begin recovering. But again, having a very strong plan for when you get out is critical....otherwise you'll get home and have no idea what to do with yourself. I think you are very brave. |
Hi Mera, So, so happy you're taking this step. Sounds like you now know the level of help you need. As suggestion, can you bring a device (smartphone, tablet, computer) with the thread from your last relapse, or cut and paste all of your posts from that thread and print them out to take with you? The words you wrote in there were what worried so many of us, and I think would show anyone why you need to make a big step to get the help you need. If you find yourself minimising your experience, or struggling to put it in words, perhaps you could simply take out what you wrote and read it to your Psychiatrist? Good luck with it, and my thoughts are with you today. |
Hugs. You don't have to walk this path alone! I went to rehab and I was petrified. I was shaking the whole drive to rehab. I'm so glad I went! You can do this! |
Imbrace Rehab. When all else fails, take advantage of doing something, taking this step to put an end of the insanity of trying to stop drinking on your own. You, never have to do anything in life by yourself. Placing yourself into the hands of those capable and knowledgable about addiction to teach you and guide you through the process of learning a program of recovery that will help you live your life without poison. This addiction has killed a many a folks as you know. You don't have to be one of those statistics. You made the first attempt to reach out for help from your doctor. That shows me that you are willing to do what it takes to want to end this addiction. My family did an intervention on me 25 yrs ago when I wasn't nor capable nor willing to get help on my own. I was scared to death, NO, I was pizzed when the authorities where called to come take me to the hospital because I had already fought off my spouse when he tried to physically haul me to the car himself. A court order was issued and I had to go get help I desperately needed at that time in my life. The first night I spent in the physciatric ward because of my mental state of wanting to end my miserable, failure of a wife , mom, and alcohol. I saw so many folks shuffling across the floor, hugging the wall, mumbling to themselves and I emmediately thought to myself, I am not that far gone. I passed all their mental test and come to find out all I had was an addiction to alcohol and that I had no control over it. I was absolutely powerless over it. I left my 2 little ones into the hands of family members even tho I was worried, because I never liked bothering folks when it came to taking care of my own kids. However, I had to accept the fact that my family sought help for me and had to let family care for them when I was not in any shape to care for them myself at that time. This next 28 days I had to concentrate on listening, absorbing, learning about my addiction and its affects on me and those around me. 2 weeks in and they told me that I wasn't ready to go back home into the same inviroment and wanted to send me to a halfway house further away from my little family. Emmediately, I begged to stay at that rehab and would do whatever I needed to do, just don't send me further away from my family and of course they agreed. 28 day sober wasn't even a drop in the bucket, yet when I was released I carried on with my recovery program with a 6 week aftercare program continueing to learn more ways to live life on lifes terms without alcohol. I did whatever I could do and took many helpful suggestions to guide me day by day to remain sober. Over the yrs I began grow and mature in recovery and most of all I have remained sober for 25 yrs being responsible for my own recovery passing all that has been taught to me over the yrs to many still suffering with addiction. So many passed on their own hope to me that if they could and would remain sober incorporating a program of recovery taught to them to remain sober for a many one days at a time themselves to achieve health, happiness and honesty in their own lives, then so could and would I. And I have. You can too. Let other's in recovery carry you till you are strong enough to carry on yourself and never feel ashamed or guilty for this gift of help waiting for you. :) |
Mera-by going to treatment, it should bring you some peace and some reprieve. You're making the right decision. :hug: |
Mera- this is wonderful news. I agree with the others, maybe print off your post above. Hand it over to your Dr. if you can't find the words, but please fulfill your decision to go to rehab. :hug: |
I came on here this a.m. to specifically see if I could find out how you're doing. What a relief to find this post. As others have said you are absolutely doing the right thing. I support you a million percent. Love you, friend. |
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