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Surround me with support please

Old 03-08-2016, 08:29 AM
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Mera, I am so proud of you for coming to this point. and we are all here for you!
I haven't (yet) gone to rehab but I did go to detox. What I know from my experience there is that you will be in a safe place full of support and concentrating on YOU and your sobriety and wellness. It might seem scary at first but with time I'm sure it will give you a good foundation to build upon to go back to living a sober life, and help you to start working towards peace. Sending you much love my friend. you will be so glad for doing it.
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Old 03-08-2016, 08:37 AM
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Mera, I, too, am incredibly proud of you for coming to this strong and courageous decision.

I support you 100% as do all of your SR friends.
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Old 03-08-2016, 08:41 AM
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sending supportive wishes, Mera.
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:06 AM
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Friends, I missed my appointment because I was passed out drunk. Passed out. I thought I had set my alarm but I didn't. I only woke up because my doctor called my emergency contact (the father of my children) and he came to my house. He rang my gate bell but I didn't wake. He is disabled but managed to jump over my gate (very difficult of him physically) and then found my house door open and came in and woke me. He called my doctor and reported on the situation.
My doctor said he would call me this evening after his appointments. However, it was a good opportunity to speak to my ex about the situation. He agreed that I need treatment and said he would take care of the kids. I also spoke with my fired, who had passed me my current work and she agreed to take over my work if I needed to go. So at this point I have confirmation that my mom will come to help my mother in law with the kids, my friend will cover my work and my children's father supports me- my three biggest worries.
No doubt in my mind now that I will go to rehab with this support, I just need to get there. What a mess I am. I was so ready today, with all of your support and everything, but I couldn't handle the stress. I think my next appointment will have to be Friday. Tomorrow I have to get through and appointment (decidedly sober) to have a tubal ligation. My gynaecologist wanted a hysterectomy but I will get his second opinion tomorrow (with the blessing of my trusted gynaecologist) I'm nearing help friends, please sty with me. I'm so mortified to call my mother now and tell her what happened. My children's father was so good to me. So good. I'm fortunate.
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:09 AM
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Love you hearts, stay with me. I swear I'll get there.

QUOTE=HeartsAfire;5838787]I came on here this a.m. to specifically see if I could find out how you're doing. What a relief to find this post. As others have said you are absolutely doing the right thing. I support you a million percent.

Love you, friend.[/QUOTE]
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:23 AM
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We are with you, Mera; all the way!!!!
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Meraviglioso View Post
No doubt in my mind now that I will go to rehab with this support, I just need to get there. What a mess I am. I was so ready today, with all of your support and everything, but I couldn't handle the stress. I think my next appointment will have to be Friday. Tomorrow I have to ................
I would disagree that there is no doubt in your mind Mera. If there weren't there is no possible way you would even consider postponing this until Friday. There is NOTHING you need to do tomorrow other than anything you possibly can to get in treatment. You have literally reached the point that you become incapacitated and unable to even care for yourself every time you drink. If you wait until friday for this you could die - literally.

I would suggest that you have someone come over and be with you the entire day until you can talk to your doctor. Make whatever arrangements you need to make with all of the people around you who have offered support, but getting into treatment needs to be your one an only goal...period. Your life depends on it.
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:47 AM
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Mera forward motion is the important part. So keep the momentum forward.
I think the others had some good suggestions. Can you print or write down what you first posted? Maybe if you feel up to it, take some time to write down your feelings, your struggles with alcohol, your life stresses. It doesn't have to be elaborate or complicated. Even point for to help keep you focused at your appointment.
Lastly I would suggest writing out a list of goals you want to achieve. And reflecting on what you are grateful for both internally and externally.
Just putting some thoughts out there for you. I hope you are able to find it in you to do some soul nourishing activities until your appointment. Maybe walk, nap, have a bath, read a book, journal, etc... anything small to soothe yourself a little bit.
Please try not to let shame be a motivator to drink. You can do this Mera, you have it within you, and you are never alone. Lots of us have been or are where you are. Hang in there sweetheart
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
I would disagree that there is no doubt in your mind Mera. If there weren't there is no possible way you would even consider postponing this until Friday. There is NOTHING you need to do tomorrow other than anything you possibly can to get in treatment. You have literally reached the point that you become incapacitated and unable to even care for yourself every time you drink. If you wait until friday for this you could die - literally.

I would suggest that you have someone come over and be with you the entire day until you can talk to your doctor. Make whatever arrangements you need to make with all of the people around you who have offered support, but getting into treatment needs to be your one an only goal...period. Your life depends on it.
I agree with Scott. I think it's in your best interest not to be alone. and getting into treatment as soon as possible is your most important priority.
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Old 03-08-2016, 10:14 AM
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Scott you are so mean! I am trying and will do everything to survive until Friday.
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Old 03-08-2016, 10:15 AM
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This is a HUGE step forward for me, to even consider this. I will do it, but it is scary. I am so afraid.
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Old 03-08-2016, 10:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Meraviglioso View Post
This is a HUGE step forward for me, to even consider this. I will do it, but it is scary. I am so afraid.

It could save your beautiful life, Mera. Give it everything you have!!!!
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Old 03-08-2016, 10:27 AM
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It's a big step.

I was relieved to be in rehab after all the pain and suffering. I needed to let go of an unsustainable lifestyle, which wasn't really a lifestyle at all.

It's time to allow other people to help you, and for you to allow yourself to heal. Nothing else is at stake but the rest of your life, a life which, mercifully, only unfolds in moments, each one in its time.

Stay with us, and stay together.
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Old 03-08-2016, 10:57 AM
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Mera if you have any alcohol please get rid of it
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Meraviglioso View Post
This is a HUGE step forward for me, to even consider this. I will do it, but it is scary. I am so afraid.
Mera it will be ok. Sounds like you have lots of people that love you and will help you. Reach out and ask one of these people to see you safely to rehab.

Maybe try to focus on the event as being a positive. Start to pack, make a list of everything you would like out of rehab. Just get busy getting prepared. Try to slow up your drinking. If I can do this, you can. I am about the sickest boozer I've ever seen. I can't even share the horrors of my last relapse a month ago. That bad? Yes. Two hospital visits, two detoxes, unbelievable self harm. I'm lucky to be alive. Sorry this isn't about me. My point is slow down the drink as much as you can. Eat. Drink water. Ask for help.
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Mera if you have any alcohol please get rid of it
I don't, but you know what, I sure as hell wish I did. I want to drink myself into oblivion right now. I could. I could go to the bar and get a few glasses or better yet, buy a bottle to bring home and drink alone without judgement but I am too goddamn lazy. How's that for you? A disgusting drunk AND a lazy bastard! I'm too lazy and tired to drive to the bar. Pathetic. My doctor called just now. I ****** up royally, he has no appointments available until Friday. I'll go then. Then I'll ask to go to rehab. I've had enough. I can't take this anymore.
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:29 AM
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Why don't you let him know now that you want to go to rehab; perhaps he can put the wheels into motion for you before your appointment.

(((Mera)))
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:36 AM
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I told him, but he is a private doctor. In Italy there are public doctors which are free of cost (but you have to wait for an appointment, sometimes months) and private doctors. With the private doctors they send everything through the private system. So he wants to meet with me first and then suggest the right place. He said on the phone today "in any case, this is all by appointment so a day or three won't change anything" So I'll just keep on. I promise to all of you that I wake up each day wanting to be sober. I try. But come 10":30 or 11, I just can't take it anymore and go to drink. It sucks because I find others there drinking at that hour. I feel ashamed and take my glass around to the outside, to hide from anyone who might pass, but no one really cares. The only time I feel bad is when another mother from the school passes to get a coffee or get something from the market next door. I feel so embarrassed.
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:41 AM
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I have an English lesson tomorrow at 10:30. I also need to go to the gym, I skipped today which I almost never do, hangover or not, but I did. I feel like **** for that. So, I'll wake early, go to the gym, do my lesson then at 11:30 I can drink again. And I will. I don't care anymore. I am ******. I give up. I'll just drink.
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:43 AM
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Can you even believe what a terrible person I am? I had my ticket to safety today and blew it. I swear on my life that I set my alarm- or tired to- it is not that I wanted to miss this. But I did. I called for an emergency appointment, was given that and BLEW IT!. Who does that? Me. failure. I totally suck at life.
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