on the edge of loosing everything
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Justin00 
2 days passed and I am constantly crying, pain is all over me I can not eat do nothing. Bad thoughts are coming to my head and this pain is so suffering I don't want to be like this any more.
Get your (sober tools) together and make sobriety a priority.
M-Bob
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 144
Cleaning my apartment, shaving beard, grocery shopping that's what I am doing today to avoid thinking about all the mess that is happening right now and of course reading forum. You help me a lot thank you so much.
After my body cleans a little I will look into AA seminars to start with. Will post my healing process and I'd like to hold on to this community.
After my body cleans a little I will look into AA seminars to start with. Will post my healing process and I'd like to hold on to this community.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Justin00
After my body cleans a little I will look into AA seminars
If nothing else seeing the new ones come in all torn up.
And then most in short time have truly gotten their lives back together.
Several at my AA home group meeting come to mind.
MB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 314
Originally Posted by Justin00
Hey everyone,
I'm 25 year old guy named Justin. I'm very thankful for everything that I have, but I'm trying to get rid of it by consuming alcohol.
I have a wonderful women in my life and we are getting married in August. I promised to myself that I will propose to her after I will not make any mistakes with drinking for a year. ( Proposed in June, 2 days before my father died )
I have a good job, but I can not do anything atm just watch deadlines pass, because I have a severe depression/pain in side of me.
I have a loving family which always helps me. My father died in June because of alcohol. This brings me sad feelings inside me which I can not let go.
I have hobbies, dreams, friends and everything a happy person would like to have.
I was happy until this weekend. I knew that I can not drink any alcohol, did some therapy and I was doing great. On occasion I would drink a couple of beers and that's it. Well this weekend reminded me that I can not use any of it. I remember drinking 2 beers and I woke up 6am all in pain.
2 days passed and I am constantly crying, pain is all over me I can not eat do nothing. Bad thoughts are coming to my head and this pain is so suffering I don't want to be like this any more.
I'm 25 year old guy named Justin. I'm very thankful for everything that I have, but I'm trying to get rid of it by consuming alcohol.
I have a wonderful women in my life and we are getting married in August. I promised to myself that I will propose to her after I will not make any mistakes with drinking for a year. ( Proposed in June, 2 days before my father died )
I have a good job, but I can not do anything atm just watch deadlines pass, because I have a severe depression/pain in side of me.
I have a loving family which always helps me. My father died in June because of alcohol. This brings me sad feelings inside me which I can not let go.
I have hobbies, dreams, friends and everything a happy person would like to have.
I was happy until this weekend. I knew that I can not drink any alcohol, did some therapy and I was doing great. On occasion I would drink a couple of beers and that's it. Well this weekend reminded me that I can not use any of it. I remember drinking 2 beers and I woke up 6am all in pain.
2 days passed and I am constantly crying, pain is all over me I can not eat do nothing. Bad thoughts are coming to my head and this pain is so suffering I don't want to be like this any more.
I'm sorry for your loss man, I can't imagine losing my father in the midst of getting clean and starting a new fresh life. You have so much support on this website and we want to see the best for you and ourselves, we are in the same race! Thanks for sharing man, keep coming on here. Wishing the best for you & yours!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
My drinking became a problem when I was your age. I started to drink until blackout stage and cause all sorts of trouble. My career and relationships really suffered and my hangovers became 3 day anxiety ridden nightmares.
The alcohol really messed up my mental health and it just made me drink more. I lost everything eventually. The job, condo, car, girlfriend.....everything. then I drank because my life was so unbearable after losing everything.
Alcohol makes your anxiety/depression 10 times worse. I had to hit rock bottom before I got help. Don't wait too long like I did. Get help now
The alcohol really messed up my mental health and it just made me drink more. I lost everything eventually. The job, condo, car, girlfriend.....everything. then I drank because my life was so unbearable after losing everything.
Alcohol makes your anxiety/depression 10 times worse. I had to hit rock bottom before I got help. Don't wait too long like I did. Get help now
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Originally Posted by Justin00
Cleaning my apartment, shaving beard, grocery shopping that's what I am doing today to avoid thinking about all the mess that is happening right now and of course reading forum. You help me a lot thank you so much.
After my body cleans a little I will look into AA seminars to start with. Will post my healing process and I'd like to hold on to this community.
After my body cleans a little I will look into AA seminars to start with. Will post my healing process and I'd like to hold on to this community.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 144
Originally Posted by CharlesG
I'm so sorry man, that's the most heartbreaking thing I can read. I too proposed to somebody amazing but had no intentions of dealing with the seriousness I was imposing into her life and mines. Everything fell apart soon after because I had not done a inch of self work or had any intention of looking at who I was in order to be the BEST for her. I thought it was just a cute thing to do.
I'm sorry for your loss man, I can't imagine losing my father in the midst of getting clean and starting a new fresh life. You have so much support on this website and we want to see the best for you and ourselves, we are in the same race! Thanks for sharing man, keep coming on here. Wishing the best for you & yours!
I'm sorry for your loss man, I can't imagine losing my father in the midst of getting clean and starting a new fresh life. You have so much support on this website and we want to see the best for you and ourselves, we are in the same race! Thanks for sharing man, keep coming on here. Wishing the best for you & yours!
to my future family and I don't want to loose it. This would be like death to me. I hope it's not too late to rebuild everything and start to live a sober happy life.
Originally Posted by Wastinglife
My drinking became a problem when I was your age. I started to drink until blackout stage and cause all sorts of trouble. My career and relationships really suffered and my hangovers became 3 day anxiety ridden nightmares.
The alcohol really messed up my mental health and it just made me drink more. I lost everything eventually. The job, condo, car, girlfriend.....everything. then I drank because my life was so unbearable after losing everything.
Alcohol makes your anxiety/depression 10 times worse. I had to hit rock bottom before I got help. Don't wait too long like I did. Get help now
The alcohol really messed up my mental health and it just made me drink more. I lost everything eventually. The job, condo, car, girlfriend.....everything. then I drank because my life was so unbearable after losing everything.
Alcohol makes your anxiety/depression 10 times worse. I had to hit rock bottom before I got help. Don't wait too long like I did. Get help now
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 144
DAY 3.
Wake up at 6am and quickly thought to myself I had the worst nightmare ever. 3minutes later I understood that it was real, start shaking again, tears started to accumulate. Said goodbye to my fiancee, she is leaving to work early, said I love her and then she left. Made some tea, ate some yogurt and went to work. While I was walking I realized that I am feeling better than yesterday so that is a very good sign. I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. This gives me even more motivation to be sober so I started to make plans in my mind how I am gonna live in the future.
I would like to to to the gym tomorrow, this clears my mind and I always feel better after a good exercise.
I need to go to AA meeting this week to start to counter my problem.
Then there is work which I have totally forgot, but my mind is not in the working mode and how I can explain this to my boss?
This is the start of my day 3. Thank you SR for having me here.
Wake up at 6am and quickly thought to myself I had the worst nightmare ever. 3minutes later I understood that it was real, start shaking again, tears started to accumulate. Said goodbye to my fiancee, she is leaving to work early, said I love her and then she left. Made some tea, ate some yogurt and went to work. While I was walking I realized that I am feeling better than yesterday so that is a very good sign. I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. This gives me even more motivation to be sober so I started to make plans in my mind how I am gonna live in the future.
I would like to to to the gym tomorrow, this clears my mind and I always feel better after a good exercise.
I need to go to AA meeting this week to start to counter my problem.
Then there is work which I have totally forgot, but my mind is not in the working mode and how I can explain this to my boss?
This is the start of my day 3. Thank you SR for having me here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
Hi Justin, I ha e great admiration for your honesty and courage to face your demons.
I found this on another members Sig nature, I thought might help. A few wise quotes.Expect the dawn of a new beginning in the dark nights of your life. Lloyd Ogilvie
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle
We are only free to move forward when we remove the emotional shackles of regret.
I have subscribed to your thread, as I care to know how you are progressing. My prayers are with you.
I found this on another members Sig nature, I thought might help. A few wise quotes.Expect the dawn of a new beginning in the dark nights of your life. Lloyd Ogilvie
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle
We are only free to move forward when we remove the emotional shackles of regret.
I have subscribed to your thread, as I care to know how you are progressing. My prayers are with you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
Perhaps your feelings dont want to stay inside of you.
Perhaps your soul is begging to be heard.
You are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic therein lays perhaps a bulk of your pain. (ACoA)
There is help for that.
Many here, at SR has similar experiences and understand the pain and fear that is presently crippling you.
You have nothing to fear but fear itself. There is a great saying,
What you fear, you draw near.
You are safe here. No one will judge you, if you fall,there is always someone nearby to help you up. Keep posting.
Perhaps your soul is begging to be heard.
You are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic therein lays perhaps a bulk of your pain. (ACoA)
There is help for that.
Many here, at SR has similar experiences and understand the pain and fear that is presently crippling you.
You have nothing to fear but fear itself. There is a great saying,
What you fear, you draw near.
You are safe here. No one will judge you, if you fall,there is always someone nearby to help you up. Keep posting.
Last edited by StormiNormi; 03-08-2016 at 01:20 AM. Reason: Punctuation added
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 387
Hi Justin,
Your story has really spoken to me-I believe I'm in a very similar position at the moment. I'm putting my faith in my higher power though and beginning to work the steps. I think there is no human that can help, it's gotta be something more powerful than us. This too shall pass.
Take care, get to a meeting and surrender.
Your story has really spoken to me-I believe I'm in a very similar position at the moment. I'm putting my faith in my higher power though and beginning to work the steps. I think there is no human that can help, it's gotta be something more powerful than us. This too shall pass.
Take care, get to a meeting and surrender.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Justin00
DAY 3.
While I was walking I realized that I am feeling better than yesterday so that is a very good sign. I started to see light at the end of the tunnel.
While I was walking I realized that I am feeling better than yesterday so that is a very good sign. I started to see light at the end of the tunnel.
I suffered big dog mentally, physically and spiritual for months.
It had changed for me.
In my earlier years (a few times) getting sober was easy.
In a few days I usually felt good or at least much better.
Be grateful for what you have -
in a very short time you are feeling better.
Just think how good you may feel in a month if you don't drink.
Some people will go to AA and do 90 meetings in 90 days.
Sure plants deep the sober seed.
MB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 144
Hi sadsadgirl,
Thank you for being with me. I just had my first meal in 3 days. I was sitting in a café waiting for my meal and observing other people. They were all calm and relaxed, talking with each other about daily problems and joys and my heart was full of jealousness for them. I want to be that regular Justin with ambitions and enjoy small things, I want to be free from my emotional pain.
Thank you for being with me. I just had my first meal in 3 days. I was sitting in a café waiting for my meal and observing other people. They were all calm and relaxed, talking with each other about daily problems and joys and my heart was full of jealousness for them. I want to be that regular Justin with ambitions and enjoy small things, I want to be free from my emotional pain.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 387
Justin-that is exactly how I feel at the moment too! Seeing other people washing their car, walking their dogs, meeting up with friends. It seems a million miles away from where I am. But it's drink that's got me to this place-running away from dealing with any minor problem doesn't make them go away. Day 2 for me. But AA is the right place-speaking to others who get that spiritual malady and even better-who will help you out of the fog-if we just do what they did. Take care-well done on getting a meal down you!!!
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