Chunky74

Hello, this is my first forum ever posted on. I found 'Sober Recovery' yesterday whilst at work looking up the NA just for today verses. Once I got onto this site I couldn't pull away and today I created an account. My names Mark and I'm coming at u from Oxfordshire England. I was a firefighter, had a back injury already had anxiety and the drug I found was tramadol. 10 years later and I was hopelessly addicted. After not attaining the sufficient buzz from the drug that I used to get and numb my anxiety I then went into taking huge quantities, 40 in a go. Eventually it was my brain that couldn't cope and I started having seizures, after one really bad one -I woke to find my bags packed and was kicked outta home which I shared with my wife and two sons. After getting kicked out of the next house (a friends) for using I was back at my parents and from there rehab. That was back in July and have been clean since then. I thought going to rehab would help me reconcile the relationship with my wife but it wasn't to be. She's now divorcing me and moving her and my two sons to the US. As you can imagine this is quite stressful. I'm finding for the first time in years all these emotions that were suppressed and now they're raging and I'm finding it hard to control them. I'm trying to do the next right thing (an NA phrase) but finding life really hard. I started smoking again after 20 years not in rehab & I know this is terrible thing to be doing again but I feel it's helping. But I do feel that I'm being secretive with it and old addictive tendencies are creeping in so yes it's not good. I just wanted to ask how people have coped with the early days of recovery. Is it just about putting one foot in front of the other when you don't feel like it? I say new in recovery even tho it's been since July but I've been in the rehab bubble for most of it. I'm finding I either need caffeine or tobacco to stimulate me. I dunno what I'm rambling on about but I guess I just wanted to ask for advice on coping once you get out in the real world. Thanks for any comments. Mark

ChloeRose63

Welcome, Mark. Keep checking out the posts. You will find that you are not alone and many of us can relate to your situation. Your into post was great. Keep posting! I hope you have a good day. Stay strong. CR

Bird615

Welcome to SR, Mark!

The 12 Steps of AA are what help me cope with the real world. I incorporate the principles I learned in the program into my life and I'm much better able to live a happy life without having to escape from it.

After being sober for a while, I stopped going to meetings and went for a long time without using those steps and life got pretty crappy. I was so unhappy that I started drinking again. Now that I'm back and have made being sober a priority again, life is much better.

If I don't treat my addiction, I will go back to it or substitute something else to try to make myself feel better.

NA has the same 12 Steps. Some people need extra help, like counselling or therapy.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Mark; glad that you found us and joined.

Hobbies help me to relax; maybe you could resurrect an old interest. Volunteering is another thing that I find help to 'get outside of myself'; helping others is very therapeutic.

Walking is another stress reliever, as is a warm, aromatic bath.

Again, welcome.

FreeOwl

welcome, Mark!!



You've come to a good place.

Anna

Hi Mark, Good job on being clean since July. I'm sorry about the situation with your family moving away. I'm sure that must be heartbreaking for you. I think we can learn healthy ways to cope in the real world. I know it's terribly hard to face all the emotions and stuff, but slowly but surely you can get through it. For me, balance in my life is what helps me to cope. I do things I enjoy doing, I walk a lot for exercise, I listen to music, read good books and spend time with people I love and who love me.

least

Welcome to the family Mark. You'll find lots of support and wisdom here.

nova84

Hi Mark 👋 Wishing you well on the rest of your recovery journey x

loulou1981

Hey Mark, I've not been sober for that long, Oct 18th for me, but my main saviour has been this site. Do u go to regular meetings?? Really sorry about ur wife & boys

Dee74

Hi and welcome Mark.

Ther support and good ideas I found here really helped me to turn my life around and keep it that way.

I'm glad you found us

D

IvanMike

welcome. hang in there. The nine month tag is worth it. You feel about normal based upon your clean time.

Don't overthink things. We tackle our addictions in the order they're killing us. I quit smoking with 8 months clean but I had smoked for 15 years and it was killing me something fierce at the time.

Recovery isn't a fairy tale, and not all relationships will turn out the way you want them too. My second marriage didn't survive after I got clean. It took a long time to start to repair the relationships with my daughters. Still a work in progress. We learn to survive life and our emotions over time. fortunately we get lots of help.

It helps to read the literature too. My Basic Text is falling apart. I seem to have read the "Just For Today" chapter quite a bit. You may find your own "go-to" spots in the NA lit.

The steps are the key. That and time.