But I'll get back, on my feet someday...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 44
Thanks to whomever recommended the book, "Chasing the Scream". Am nearly finished, can't put it down.
I have always been very liberal and think all drugs should be legal and taxed; with abuse being a medical, not criminal, issue.
This book has tremendously expanded my awareness and appreciation for the nuances of the world-wide failed "War on (the users of) Drugs".
It has also served to provide unique perspective on my own putative addictive behaviors.
Good stuff. Recommend to anyone who has used or knows a user; which is pretty much everyone. Altering consciousness is a fundamental human desire. Exercise and meditation are to be my methods of choice.
~~~
Day 3.
Feeling a bit of kava hangover, not to be used daily or much at all. It is far too strong of an inebrient for those seeking true sobriety. Am going to start cutting back on the valerian for sleep as well, as I'm not sure I need pharmacological intervention for sleep.
Am finding out more about my triggers and learning how to surf my urges. I feel guilty that my wife and kids are my biggest triggers. They were right, I really am an A-hole.
I have always been very liberal and think all drugs should be legal and taxed; with abuse being a medical, not criminal, issue.
This book has tremendously expanded my awareness and appreciation for the nuances of the world-wide failed "War on (the users of) Drugs".
It has also served to provide unique perspective on my own putative addictive behaviors.
Good stuff. Recommend to anyone who has used or knows a user; which is pretty much everyone. Altering consciousness is a fundamental human desire. Exercise and meditation are to be my methods of choice.
~~~
Day 3.
Feeling a bit of kava hangover, not to be used daily or much at all. It is far too strong of an inebrient for those seeking true sobriety. Am going to start cutting back on the valerian for sleep as well, as I'm not sure I need pharmacological intervention for sleep.
Am finding out more about my triggers and learning how to surf my urges. I feel guilty that my wife and kids are my biggest triggers. They were right, I really am an A-hole.
Nature Lover & Plantoholic
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: The Golden State
Posts: 284
Welcome to SR. It sounds like you're doing some soul searching, which is good. It's easier to self-reflect when sober. 
I'd never heard of kava, so I looked it up. It can promote liver damage, so careful there. You may want to tell your docs about the kava.
I'd never heard of kava, so I looked it up. It can promote liver damage, so careful there. You may want to tell your docs about the kava.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 44
Day 4.
Have had little in the way of physical discomfort. Headache is my biggest complaint. Planning to have no kava or valerian tonite, just something for the headache.
Have been dreaming overtime, body catching up on the REM I've missed out on for the last 20 years!
My wife has completely checked out of our relationship. I don't blame her, it was/is her defense mechanism. It has been for some time now, but I never cared before because I was drunk all the time.
Now that I am not drinking, it hurts a lot more to feel her frigidity. I'm going to just keep working on me. I hope she'll come around eventually. I expect her to be suspicious and wary for a loooong time.
Same with the kids. The three of them are such drama. I try to advise, but no one listens. I'm going to leave them at it, then. Just work on me.
It is going to take years for all of this to work itself out. A long haul.
MMSLP has been useful to frame all of this as well.
I'm just going to work on me. What will be, will be.
Have had little in the way of physical discomfort. Headache is my biggest complaint. Planning to have no kava or valerian tonite, just something for the headache.
Have been dreaming overtime, body catching up on the REM I've missed out on for the last 20 years!
My wife has completely checked out of our relationship. I don't blame her, it was/is her defense mechanism. It has been for some time now, but I never cared before because I was drunk all the time.
Now that I am not drinking, it hurts a lot more to feel her frigidity. I'm going to just keep working on me. I hope she'll come around eventually. I expect her to be suspicious and wary for a loooong time.
Same with the kids. The three of them are such drama. I try to advise, but no one listens. I'm going to leave them at it, then. Just work on me.
It is going to take years for all of this to work itself out. A long haul.
MMSLP has been useful to frame all of this as well.
I'm just going to work on me. What will be, will be.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by Ariesagain 
Getting Day One is in some ways the hardest part...there's always some incredible reason my addictive voice could come up with to put it off... ("It's Wednesday! That's a dumb bland little day to quit. Why not, you know, next Monday?")
Once you get that one little glimpse of daylight, you start to believe it's possible. And that you can.
Stick around tonight? Or do you have a distraction plan in place?
Once you get that one little glimpse of daylight, you start to believe it's possible. And that you can.
Stick around tonight? Or do you have a distraction plan in place?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 44
Day 6.
This is the longest I've gone without a drink since I started drinking at 19.
Crazy dreams, still waking groggy, feeling spacey. Cutting back/off all the other naturopathic detox remedies. Reading up on fatty liver reversal.
Learning about myself. I am a reactive drinker.
Happy, have a drink. Sad, have a drink. Mad, have three drinks. Had my worst ever urge to drink after a bad night last night. Surfed that urge like a Kiwi.
Feeling good that I resisted the urge last night. (AV says, "celebrate, have a drink!")
One day at a time. I will not drink today.
This is the longest I've gone without a drink since I started drinking at 19.
Crazy dreams, still waking groggy, feeling spacey. Cutting back/off all the other naturopathic detox remedies. Reading up on fatty liver reversal.
Learning about myself. I am a reactive drinker.
Happy, have a drink. Sad, have a drink. Mad, have three drinks. Had my worst ever urge to drink after a bad night last night. Surfed that urge like a Kiwi.
Feeling good that I resisted the urge last night. (AV says, "celebrate, have a drink!")
One day at a time. I will not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 44
Yup. Drinking half my life. Took to it like a fish to water. (Hint: It's in my DNA.)
This gal (now wife) was my enabler and drinking buddy. Now, we don't even share that. Drifting too far from the shore...
Just going to work on me.
This gal (now wife) was my enabler and drinking buddy. Now, we don't even share that. Drifting too far from the shore...
Just going to work on me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
Originally Posted by GussWest
Yup. Drinking half my life. Took to it like a fish to water. (Hint: It's in my DNA.)
This gal (now wife) was my enabler and drinking buddy. Now, we don't even share that. Drifting too far from the shore...
Just going to work on me.
This gal (now wife) was my enabler and drinking buddy. Now, we don't even share that. Drifting too far from the shore...
Just going to work on me.
Wasn't too long ago i was pushing 270ish pounds. I will say this, if you can quit alcohol, you can quit soda. I stopped soda cold turkey around December 2014 and the weight has just melted off ever since. I'm a computer/tech junkie so i've been pretty sedentary the last few years as well, so it has very little to do w/ exercise. Changes to diet are key, in addition to sobriety of course.
Quit beer, quit soda, and cut down on bread as much as you can..... you'll lose weight "without even trying"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 44
Great advice!
I gave up coffee and soda years ago in favor of loose leaf tea.
I am targeting sugar and refined carbs next. Whole food plant based diet has been the goal for the past year. I eat about 90% vegan.
Started at 300, last weigh in was 259. Another 100 to go.
Of course until last week I was still drinking 10+ per day.
Looking forward to watching the big melt.
I gave up coffee and soda years ago in favor of loose leaf tea.
I am targeting sugar and refined carbs next. Whole food plant based diet has been the goal for the past year. I eat about 90% vegan.
Started at 300, last weigh in was 259. Another 100 to go.
Of course until last week I was still drinking 10+ per day.
Looking forward to watching the big melt.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
Originally Posted by GussWest
Looking forward to watching the big melt.
I sincerely believe beer was the main culprit behind my obesity, although i think soda was the next biggest culprit.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 44
Thanks Wolf!
Officially one week tomorrow mornin'.
Felt God Mode last night. Feeling great today.
I'm starting to think, like, I'm allergic to alcohol.
I have Under the Influence on the shelf for the next book, need to finish Dr. Cabot's Liver book first.
Going to start adjusting my waking time to get up earlier for working out and quiet time.
18 years drunk, what a waste...
Officially one week tomorrow mornin'.
Felt God Mode last night. Feeling great today.
I'm starting to think, like, I'm allergic to alcohol.
I have Under the Influence on the shelf for the next book, need to finish Dr. Cabot's Liver book first.
Going to start adjusting my waking time to get up earlier for working out and quiet time.
18 years drunk, what a waste...
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