willowby

I just can't stop I get bored and go on autopilot to the liquor store. My brain is just hijacked and I really hate this I can't stop. I don't have dui's, haven't gotten in any trouble but I sit alone and drink. All my friends are non drinkers. How can I stop this? Can I get help to be accountable? I thought AA was too weird. Women for sobriety didn't keep me sober either. I am teetering on pre diabetes from all the calories in wine and the crap I eat because I get the munchies after drinking. Why can't I just stop this? Life is really good I'm moving to europe, found a new love. This just sucks....any suggestions

Meraviglioso

Me too!!!! I am tired of it too! I also drink when I get lonely or bored. Frankly, AA is weird sometimes, but there are also a lot of nice people there. It also has the benefit of being a sober activity where you should show up sober. I did show up mildly drunk to my first meeting and they welcomed me, but I certainly wouldn't repeat that on a regular basis. So you can guarantee to keep yourself sober and be sober for that hour if you go. If not, maybe some other activities to help fight boredom. Gym, walking, a painting class...

One thing I can assure you of is that moving to Europe does not mean in any way, shape or form that you will move away from your alcoholism if you are in fact and alcoholic. I've been here 10 years and I've never felt more alone and more like I have to depend on myself and only myself to get things done and for support. I don't want those words to be discouraging at all, there are also many marvellous things about my new home and there is something I see every day- really ever single day, that takes my breath away and makes me happy to be here. But we can't run from our problems and sometimes coming somewhere new and foreign, where you don't know the language or customs, don't have friends or family makes dealing with things a bit more tricky.
Does your new love know about your alcohol problem? Does he or she drink heavily?

trachemys

So, stop.

Really. Just that easy. Repeat after me: I Don't Drink.

There's some adjustment to go through but as soon as you decide you don't drink, it's over.

FormerWineGirl

Trachemys has a point, in order to stop drinking you have to make a firm comment, and you have to really, really want it. There are a number of recovery methods to explore. You are fortunate in that your friends are non-drinkers, as most of us are initially surrounded by other drinkers, the whole "birds of a feather" thing.

It sounds as though you are beginning t o suffer adverse health issues, which brings on an urgency that perhaps you didn't have before. You have a wonderful, new life ahead of you, please do whatever it takes to quit drinking.

Soberwolf

Welcome Willowby

willowby

There is help here where I live. Most of me is in denial. I have a big problem and not drinking is so much nicer. I know I will bring my drinking problem with me to Europe and my new love does not drink. That is why I must stop this. My health is failing, my weight is soaring. I look like crappola. Feel like crappola. Need people to talk too.

sva777

I used to have the autopilot on after work. It would direct me right to the booze store.

I had to make a conscious choice to quit. I knew the path I was on was leading to health problem along with work and relationship problems. The sooner you quit the happier you will be. The past sober year has been the best ever for me. No more wasted weekends or days hung over and I feel great.

It is hard but do worthwhile and it does get easier over time.

Nonsensical

Don't believe everything you think. You can stop. You just haven't, yet.

Knowing you should stop but still wanting to drink has a name. It's called addiction.

Do what you know, not what you want.

You can do this.

IronPhoenix

Welcome Willowby - you need to make the decision to commit to not drinking and realize it is a day to day grind and not a quick fix. More importantly is to get a plan in place to have a framework to keep you accountable. For me it is to set up counseling sessions at least once if not twice a month - i treat those almost like having a trainer you don't want to disappoint by not showing up and not having done the work in between sessions. I also check in here every day. I have changed my daily routines to have other activities at those 'drinking times'.

Get a plan in place and tweak as needed. I never did AA but I did read a lot of the material and applied what made sense to me to my routines.

You can do this.

willowby

Thanks everyone, I just accepted a job as a driver so I will no longer be drinking in the afternoon. I plan to schedule some recovery meetings with a local outpatient rehab. AA is just across the street. I might go there too. I have a lot of projects to work on as well. It helps that I have no drinking buddies. I cannot understand why this is so frightening to me. I quit before for a long long time. It scares the daylights out of me to never have a drink.

FormerWineGirl

The thought of never drinking scared the daylights out of me in the beginning, too, willowby. Nowadays what scares the daylights out of me is the thoughts of EVER taking another drink of alcohol!

least

Welcome! I was afraid to stop drinking too. Didn't know what I'd do if I didn't drink. Well, I was wrong. I can do anything I want now and alcohol doesn't interfere.

I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink.

thomas11

Hi fellow Minnesotan, I see you just joined. Welcome to SR. Many great people here.
I might be putting the cart before the horse here, but if you simply can-not-stop, is some type of inpatient or outpatient treatment an option? You can detox comfortably and get sober time under your belt. Wish you the best.

Bunny211

Welcome! Yep - when I was in that endless cycle of drinking I did not see a way out either. I'm 9 months in now and I've cultivated a lifestyle for which there is no room for alcohol. I keep myself busy and I try to stay healthy (plenty of rest and good food and exercise - still working on the caffeine issue). I really wish I had a magic bullet to share with you...there isn't one. You just have to get through early sobriety and NOT drink. It sounds very simple...in practice it is very hard. But, it is do-able! I never thought I could get sober and stay sober. No way. I have though. One day, in early sobriety, I had 3 hours to kill and I just knew I was going to drink if I didn't do something. I couldn't find an AA meeting. I went to get an ice cream sundae and the ice cream shop was closed. I walked around TJ Maxx for an hour and got in my car determined to go to the liquor store. I did NOT want to drink but I felt I had no choice...the craving was so intense. What did I do? I drove myself to a Catholic Church and sat in a pew crying for 2 hours...begging God to keep me there, in that pew, safe...so I wouldn't drink and destroy my life any more than I already had. I got through it. I stayed sober that day...and every day since. I'm not saying ALL days in early sobriety are like that. Most are not. But the urges do come. You really have to be ready to go to any lengths to stay sober. Wishing you all the best!

willowby

going to detox just freaks me out. I don't have d.t.'s. It isn't a bad idea, but I'm freaked out enough and I have to work (won't drink and drive). I wish I had gone to detox when I had time on my hands. Geez, I've never done other drugs, quit smoking many years ago. I can do this but wish I wasn't so scared.

Delizadee

It feels scary for most of us at first, but once you make the decision, throw everything you've got at it. You will find yourself among understanding, kind and caring people on here. You're in the right place.