MikeM

I'm still amazed by the fact that I slept for a night, a day, another night, which ended today at 11:30 pm. And I'm exhausted again already so once my laundry is done. It's 00:07 am here right now.

But... it does help. Today I was much more clear-headed at time. Remembering things got a lot easier. Conversations were easier because I could think more clearly. It's now that I see how much alcohol had affected my brain.

I guess this will take while. But I'm going to take all the time I need to recover. If my body stays asleep for very long times, I suppose I need that. You won't hear me complain because recently my dreams have become very healing.

That does not mean gentle. It's more like mental throwing up, getting the mess out.

Because of the drinking, it seems that a lot of things never got processed. So my dreams are busy. Sometimes they're nightmares, but those never bother me. Sometimes it's just like my brain just, well, throws up. A whole jumble of both vague and clear stuff comes up and it's all random. It doesn't make sense. I enjoy those type of dreams btw. When I wake up from them I often think: "That was cool!". I'm a bit weird maybe when it comes to those type of things.

But every time it happens, I do notice that all those elements have been sorted out and have been given a place.

It's a fascinating thing to go through.

And it's good to know that my brain is perfectly capable to restore. I'm already more relaxed in everyday life.

So, just wanted to give a quick evening update. Day 19 tomorrow!

KissMyTiara

I too am fascinated by dreams. I have had different ones drunk and different ones sober. And I have always loved the ones coming into sobriety. Like you said....the brain is sorting itself out.

Jsbodhi

I have the worst dreams.
I have ones in which I'm standing in the line the entire night.
Or I've gotten up for work, gone about all the drudgery and then wake up to realize I was never at work yet at all....
Horrible!! Why can't I be a ninja or something!!

amazingjoy

I never dream while drinking...it's only when I stop drinking that I finally dream again. I can only imagine how much very needed REM has been missed (more like robbed) by drinking. I've been super tired too and I have also enjoyed this other dimension in life of dreaming...

KissMyTiara

Oh yes the worst dream! You come home from a grueling day at work. Finally get to sleep and then you dream all night you are at work slaving away. Then you wake up exhaused and realize you have to go to actual work. AHHHHHHHH

PurpleKnight

Onwards to Day 19 Mike!!

thomas11

Mike, when the time is right, I think structure and schedule may do you some good. By your own admission you made (and missed) Dr.'s appointments, and neglected duties in which you needed to catch up on. Just my 2 cents, but I think structure is critical in whatever it is we consider "normal".

Anna

I'm glad you're feeling better, Mike.

least

Congrats on your sober time.

My dreams are very unusual sometimes, which is a side effect of Zoloft (sertraline). "Bizarre or unusual thoughts or dreams". Some of them are kind of scary, but not really nightmares. Just very interesting dreams. My sister calls it the Zoloft cinema.

Rachinator

great job on the 19 days. I've always had very vivid/intense/wacky dreams regardless. But with sober time my dreams are more supportive of me like my brain is rooting me on. My brain is telling me I'm doing a great thing. They are really bizarre at times, but it's worth it. I hope your dreams get better in time

tonib

As anyone else been super tired? I'm on three weeks and I'm exhausted.

MariahGayle

Great Going on 19 days Mike!! Keep moving forward

ForMyGirls

I've always been a VERY vivid dreamer. In fact, sometimes I recognize that I am in a dream while dreaming, and I can begin to "control" them. It's pretty cool...

However, every time I've had any amount of sober time I begin having "drunk dreams." Dreams about drinking alcohol... I'll wake up in a panic, and then be relieved that it was only a dream.... Last night I dreamed that I was at a party and somehow found myself alone in a bedroom that had a half full bottle of Crown on the nightstand. I started chugging it, and the only thing I could think to myself was, "there must be an alcoholic that lives here, because this freaking Crown is half watered down with water!!!" Yes, I could taste the Crown (and water) in my dream. I actually woke up with the taste in my mouth. Crazy stuff...lol

FormerWineGirl

I was exhausted for months, tonib. And Mike, congrats on 19 days! Glad you are thinking more clearly this early on. Just as with the exhaustion, my brain wasn't functioning at full capacity for several months, either. Glad to hear you are bouncing back so quickly!

teatreeoil007

I've had psychic dreams

teatreeoil007

Thx for sharing positive stuff about your brain mike... That's great

Thumpalumpacus

I think it's possible that we dream even as drinkers, but don't remember them because we've been drinking before sleeping.

I know that occasionally I could remember my dreams after a night of drinking, though not nearly so much as I do now.

Of course, it's possible that alcohol being in the neurosystem interferes with the REM process. My experience doesn't seem to support that, but I've been wrong before, believe it or not.

I find myself sleeping twelve hours a night once, sometimes twice per week in sobriety. I also find myself tired at work, so that I'm drinking coffee later in the evening in order to help stay alert.

I think my body is simply trying to make time up for all the punishment I gave it.

Soberwolf

Congrats Mike

MikeM

(Since I'm getting some sort of server error when trying to post a new thread, I'll post my newest update here.)

Had a good Day 19

19 days... So much can change in under 3 weeks. Even for a very heavy alcoholic like I was.

My life has started to get better so quickly. Today I've been busy doing all sorts of stuff. I went for a couple of long walks, enjoying the sun. Made sure I ate and drank well. And now it's time for rest. The exhaustion is the most prominent thing I notice in this phase. It doesn't make it so I get inactive though.

Basically I'm making sure four pillars are in place as a basis every day:

- Activity
- Rest
- Nutrition
- My plan

Three weeks ago, I was an absolute mess. So was my place. My whole life actually. And I felt miserable. Just today I realized how I don't have heartburn anymore. Or any of the other physical discomforts that come with drinking.

There's still a long way to go. Recovering. Building a life. But that's exciting to me. Do a little bit every day and build an empire.

Even though I'm exhausted, also feel good. Relaxed. My social-anxiety is practically gone. Actually, I don't think I had any today. All this time the alcohol was the thing that prevented me from getting over it.

So right now, my place is clean. I am clean. I shave frequently now. I leave the house. Interact with people. And I make sure that I do a little bit every day.

So I'm going to relax a bit, unwind. Sleep. And tomorrow it's day 20 already. There was a time that I thought it wasn't possible for me. Now it's becoming natural.

Soberwolf

Keep up the good work Mike