Do most people relapse?
 

Hey all, I've been sober 4 months and 9 days, thanks to a great inpatient rehab program. This is the first time I've quit drinking. I've had cravings for sure but nothing I can't handle, and they're mostly between 6pm-8pm (when I used to start my happy hours...) I've read that relapse is almost expected on the road to recovery. Has anyone here not relapsed and have a significant amount of sober time under their belt? For the record, I don't consider a drink or two relapsing; more the full-blown, back-in-it getting-drunk kind of drinking.

For me, if I deliberately choose to drink, no matter how much, it's a relapse.

It took me almost two years after joining here to finally get sober for good.

It does not have to be a part of your story.

My sponsor, and old timers, tell me that relapse really was not a part of many peoples' story 20 years ago. They came to AA and they got and stayed sober.
I see a lot of people go in and out nowadays. One woman I know has been put in protective custody 26 times. She's been in treatment 5 times since August.

Now, I don't want to take anyone's inventory but for ME I did not get sober until I wanted sobriety more than anything else in the world. I don't consider my first 2 years of AA, when I still drank as "relapsing" because I really did not want to get sober. I wanted to figure out a way to drink and not get myself in trouble. Once I surrendered to the fact that I can never, ever drink again I stayed sober. My sponsor puts it this way "You don't try to get sober....you either get sober or you don't."

Relapse is part of addiction, not recovery. Yes, relapse happens, but a solid program of recovery can keep you sober, without relapsing.

Alcohol free since Sept 2010.

A successful sobriety and recovery life
is a body free from poisonous, narcotic,
habit forming drugs and alcohol present
and affecting mind, body and soul.

Many do remain sober and clean
throughout their lives one day at
a time incoperating tools and knowledge
taught to them where the seed of recovery
had been planted, nutured and grew in
helping them achieve health, happy,
honest lives for many years.

To answer your question, yes many
do relapse, slip, return to their addiction
to alcohol and drugs.

And yes, many choose to remain sober
or clean just one day at a time added
together to achieve milestones in recovery.

Agreed Least, I consider any deliberate drink a relapse. And thank you a million times for the second part. I'm still here, trying, nearly two years later and look to you as such a success. I don't wish for anyone to struggle and idealy no one would relapse but it gives me so much hope and strength to continue the fight to hear that others have been where I am and have made it out of the madness.

Great job on 4 months + !! That's a long time for an alcoholic to not drink, well done :c011:

Over the years I would stop and start like an old car........get some time, feel better and drink. Really, get people off my back frankly. I never worked any sort of program, just said ok I'll stop..........

20 months ago I started a program and found SR. I was in the sick and tired of it all group = enough, mey - I'm out. It's pretty easy now not to drink, just not an option. Life is life but regardless of circumstances I don't drink.

I'd have concerns about my recovery - whatever one wants to call it - if they have a few drinks. For me, that simply isn't possible. Maybe once or twice, but in short order it would be even worse than before. Likely kill me in some fashion quickly. The Body is over it and drinking would be devastating.

A friend in the rooms shared that if I planned on drinking again don't stop because it would be so very much worse - there's a thread about kindling and it's effects that helps explain the why of this.

Keep up the good work!!

Congrats on your sobriety!

Yes, many continue to live in recovery after their sober journey begins without relapsing. It takes focus and commitment, as well as support from others in places like SR. It is doable. (I'm 2.5 years; thank you, SR.) On pretty much any given day here on SR, you see posts from members commemorating their sober anniversaries. I'd make them the first thing you read here on SR during daily visits. They're inspirational.

The "relapse is part of recovery" is an erroneous -- and dangerous, I'd say -- fable. Don't fall for it. Don't let yourself embrace that false notion as a precursor to drinking. That is dangerous territory.

I am, perhaps, more worried about your comment that you don't consider one or two to be a relapse. As we see on SR, many of our fellow journeyers thought they could handle "one or two" and come back in rough shape. Take it damn seriously. One or two is never enough for folks like us.

People who return to drinking usually do so because they either don't have a solid recovery plan or quit following the one they have.

In almost every case, people return to drinking by just having "one or two". Then they have "two or three". Then "three or four". And then pretty soon you're back to where you started.

The fact that you don't consider "a drink or two" as a relapse is a pretty strong indication to me that you either don't have a strong enough recovery plan, or that you haven't fully accepted your addiction. Did your inpatient treatment teach you that drinking occasionally was going to be OK, or is your addiction telling you that?

Relapse is not part of recovery.Anyone can stop drinking,staying stopped is the problem.

I tried many times to get sober,I once did 3years,but picked up again.

Since I went to my first AA meeting nearly 13years ago,I have not needed to drink.

'Just one or two' *is* what leads to relapse.

The 'just one or two' mentality... that is the relapse.

Getting beyond thinking you can ever have one or two is the beginning of recovery.

As others have said, one or two drinks is a relapse. And, no, relapse does not have to be a part of your recovery. You do not have to choose to relapse. Congratulations on 4 months.

I agree about the drink or two mentality. Remember, regular people don't plan out how many drinks they're going to have. Alcoholics and problem drinkers do.

I think any drinking is a relapse. Having said that, this latest go around with sobriety feels more real for me. It's like I've seen first hand that, after being sober for a year last time and thinking I could enjoy it in moderation, that I absolutely cannot drink ever again. There's a deep seated comfort with this that was lacking last time.

So, while its not good, for me it has been part of the learning process of how my mind works and how warped its thinking can be.

Hello Uncorked,

It's been said already in this thread but I was worried if relapsing is part of this (I had a lot of people relapsing around me & it was frightening it could happen to me)

So I spoke to D and he said relapse is a part of our addiction it is not a part of our recovery I took that to mean relapse isn't part of my recovery & I don't have to worry I will relapse as long as I stay focused on my recovery

It gets easier over time and if your struggling you will always have our support

Here's a very old saying that I remember my mum telling me once when I asked and later heard again in AA myself and that's

One drink is too many a thousand is never enough - this is the original saying and its so true

We don't have to go back to the shadows we can embrace ourselves & learn to live again

Know your not doing this alone

The bad news is yes, most people who quit drinking and using relapse. To be blunt, most of us die as a result of our disease. Slow or fast, active addiction/alcoholism kills people.

The good news is that you don't have to relapse. As has already been mentioned, people end up drinking/using again if they don't have a solid recovery plan and if they don't stick to it every day.

i haven't been around all that long and in many ways i still consider myself to be in early recovery, but in the rooms of NA I have seen a multitude of people come and go. I've seen people stay and have a remarkable change in their lives, and I've seen people choose to use again and witnessed the tragic and predictable results. - Every day you and I have the choice of which person we want to be. I encourage you to to keep choosing as you have.

Hi, I just signed up after spending a lot of time yesterday reading this forum. I have been struggling with relapse since I sought help a few months ago. It's been a bad week, but yesterday I really felt like this is the first real day of my sobriety. Wish me luck. I'm a bit afraid of withdrawal, though so far it hasn't been that bad in the past when I've avoided wine for a couple of weeks. My blood pressure is way up (which is very scary), and that is how I found this site. I'm really glad I found it.

Hi GardenGal. Welcome! When I was brought to detox my BP was crazy high! Now it is totally normal. If you are worried about detox I suggest contacting your physician. They do offer outpatient detox as well as inpatient.

them relapse things arent on my road to recovery.

sober 10+ years. never really tried getting sober before that.

thats some dam good rationalizing insane thinkin there!