Notices

Wanting to want it

Old 02-25-2016, 04:18 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Dharma23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Brighton, Michigan
Posts: 9
Question Wanting to want it

not new to recovery by any means, but new to this website and new to getting sober "this" time around. been in and out of recovery and rehabs for 30 years now. last drink/drug was 6 days ago, which is the longest i've been sober in over 3 years. am still wanting to want to stay sober though, just going to meetings daily and reading the books so far, hoping that eventually i will want to stay sober. am stuck thinking that since it never worked the past 15? 18? times i've tried that it won't this time either, so why even bother. also the 'death threat' has never scared me, nor has the 'institutions threat', the only one that does worry me is the 'jail threat', but i am a stoic and know i could even handle that if i had to. anyway, i'm gonna just keep coming and hope eventually i DO want to stay clean/sober.
Dharma23 is offline  
Old 02-25-2016, 04:30 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
Welcome to the family. When I came here, I desperately wanted to be sober but couldn't stay that way.

I remember what our beloved CarolD used to say: you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. When I finally reached that point, I was able to stay sober. It's been over six years now and my life has never been better.
least is offline  
Old 02-25-2016, 04:31 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,770
Welcome to SR, Dharma23; glad you found us.

I hope that you not only learn to WANT sobriety but to LOVE it, too.

Sobriety and recovery are two of the best choices I have ever made.

Again, welcome.
SoberLeigh is offline  
Old 02-25-2016, 05:15 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ghostlight1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome to the forums.

In my case, institution. death and jail were just waiting for me after drinking alcoholically for thirty years.
How I avoided them, besides a few trips to the hospital, I have no idea.
never planned on seeing thirty. When I did, I had no idea what to do as far as drinking was concerned so I kept drinking.

Save yourself the misery, and believe me, it does and can get worse.
I tried to quit a hundred times. It took letting go and giving it over to my Higher Power.
I gave up. Alcohol won.
I hope you don't reach the lows I did, and congratulations on six days.
Ghostlight1 is offline  
Old 02-25-2016, 05:37 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
SR was a real game changer for me - for the first time I had support and accountability. It made it much harder for me to rationalise I was 'ok'. when ever I thought about drinking again.

I know we can help you too - welcome Dharma

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 02-25-2016, 05:41 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
Try something different. There is a reason why the last 15x have not worked. It would be pure insanity to try the same thing and expect a different result. Glad your here! Have you ever went to AA/NA meetings and worked the steps with a sponsor?
SoberLife90 is offline  
Old 02-25-2016, 05:52 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,326
Welcome Dharma,

I hope that you decide you want to stop drinking. I wonder if you've made changes in your life to support your stopping drinking? I'm glad you've joined us.
Anna is online now  
Old 02-25-2016, 09:34 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
12-Step Recovered Alkie
 
DayTrader's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Wanting to want to......but not really wanting to --

That was the best I could muster for a darn good chunk of my first year - 4 to 8 months maybe. During that time, I figured all "sobriety" had for me was no drinking....and probably no drinking related troubles. The rest of my life looked like it would be pretty boring, frustrating and probably not worth much.

Once I heard for about 1000x that there was a TON more available if I'd just surrender and join up........and once it hit me that possibly the worst thing that could happen to me would be that I'd never drink again but never really RECOVER...... that motivated me to start taking those extra actions, like actually becoming a member of AA rather than an observer, someone who worked the steps rather than just bs'd about them at meetings, someone who was willing to work for a brighter future rather than just wish it comes on it's own.
DayTrader is offline  
Old 02-26-2016, 04:38 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I quit drinking repeatedly for decades. I thought that when I wanted to get sober - like really really wanted to get sober - the desire to drink would simply disappear. I would even buy my alcohol in one-day supplies - because tomorrow might be the day I wake up with no desire to drink. A lightening bolt would come in the middle of the night and miracle my butt sober.

It.
Doesn't.
Work.
Like.
That.

My brain was addicted to alcohol. The only way to kill that desire to drink was to starve it. It takes months, but it works.

While you're starving your addiction work on building a sober life. It is well worth it.

Congrats on 6 days! You can do this!
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 02-26-2016, 04:58 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Wanting to want it is a good start.

What changed everything for me was CHOOSING to want it.

I began to take actions that would support that choosing, that wanting. And eventually, the wanting to want - and even the WANTING, transformed into CHOOSING.

Wanting something implies "someday"

CHOOSING TO HAVE something, implies NOW.

And when we re-focus from SOMEDAY to NOW - that's when things happen.

You can WANT to 'get in shape'.

But if you CHOOSE to get in shape, go to the gym and pick up weights and get on the treadmill - YOU ARE GETTING IN SHAPE.



It's the same with sobriety. We can want it until we are blue in the face - or dead from addiction. But until we CHOOSE and we ACT - wanting gets us absolutely noplace.

FreeOwl is offline  
Old 02-26-2016, 05:05 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome Dharma23
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 02-26-2016, 05:07 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Camarillo California
Posts: 48
My first day, hours here. Good job so far
FlacoJ is offline  
Old 02-26-2016, 11:52 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum Dharma!!
PurpleKnight is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:46 AM.