saphire39ca

Well....I almost had 30 days and I blew it I feel awful about it I'm off work right now and return some time in April. I want to be able to remain sober from opiates so bad but the feelings of discontent...sadness...irritability....boredom is too much to take sometimes...I've been going to meetings and talking with friends but it seems nothing I do works....the feeling of sadness when quitting is normal right? I really don't know what to do anymore...I feel defeated. Tomorrow I shall start AGAIN....please someone tell me how you deal with the feelings of discontentment and being uncomfortable in your own skin...I hate myself right now and i'm frustrated with everything!! HELP

doggonecarl

Early recovery is tough. I don't know what your mindset is, but if you feel deprived of your drug, that being clean is some sort of punishment, then you are bound to be discontented.

Being clean isn't just about being drug free...it's about learning to live and love your clean, sober life.

Also, find something to do with your time. Volunteer. Give of yourself. Find a purpose

eyeshake

Hey, it took me 2 years to get 2 months of sobriety. Just keep at it. You're on a recovery forum, so take that as a sign that you have a desire to stop. It could take time, but it's a lot easier if you recognize that you want to stop. Inertia will eventually take care of itself.

thomas11

What kind of opiates are/were you on (and amounts)? I am currently tapering and can share my experience. If you prefer not to share, I understand.

Soberwolf

It's a case of brazenly getting straight back on the horse and keeping your mind focused on recovery

Don't beat yourself up but do learn from this & remember you always have us x

Anna

Saphire, I think it might take more than 30 days to be feeling 'normal' or good. I'm sorry that you're struggling and I wonder if you've talked to your dr about this. If your depression does not clear up in early recovery, it could be that medication could help.

Dee74

Hi Sapphire

I felt bad about myself for decades so 30 days of being clean and sober didn't make much of a dent. I felt bad about myself so I used which made me feel bad about myself cos I used...see the loop there? We have to break that.

I had to take it on faith from the people who'd been there before me that that if I stayed clean and sober I'd be able to deal with all those underlying feelings...and I did.

I had a little counselling help...and lots of help here when I had lonely or scary nights and I was despairing...but what really helped the most was just living clean and sober...I did a lot of service work which helped make me feel good and helped others too and I got to face a lot of challenges and I got through them all...

it's hard to keep that old negative view of yourself when you're doing good for yourself and others

You deserve to be clean and sober and free sapphire

D