FormerWineGirl

Emma and Pounced, there is some great advice here from people who have been there but came out on the other side. Please, please do whatever it takes to get sober. Take advantage of every resource available, and fight for the happy, healthy life you both deserve.
(((((hugs))))) to you both.

Wastinglife

We can all relate here I'm sure. It's so hard to break the cycle. It would take running out of money or ending up in the ER for me to stop a binge. It has to end sometime however. Can you take a few days to detox at home? I typically would spend 2 or 3 days locked away at home to sober up. If I left the house I knew I would buy booze.

emme99

Thanks again everyone for your comments and support. All of the alcohol is gone so I am going to try to make this day one. Thanks again.

sugarbear1

If you want to talk to another person, call the AA hotline in Washington DC, it's a 24 hour line 202-966-9115

You aren't alone.
Hugs and Love to you

SoberLife90

How about an In-Patient rehab? I couldn't have stopped on my own. I needed treatment to kick off my recovery.

D122y

Emma,

Do you know the anxiety w each round of detox will grow and grow?

You will feel like you are going insane. You are hurting your brain w every binge episode.

You have to get through this for yourself first, then everyone else.

Respect that alcohol is addictive. Alcohol is poison.

You are drinking because you are addicted to alcohol. Me too. We all are.

Most of us that quit reached a physical threshold that helps w our motivation to stop. For me it was long term moderate anxiety during many activities. I still have anxiety periodically after nearly 10 months clean. Remembering the hell I experienced is a major reason I will never ever touch booze again.

For you, the physical issues may not be there yet. That might be why it is tough for you to string some longer sober time together.

Hope this helps.

Ariesagain

Emme, that sweet face in your avatar needs you!

Every time we drink again we put ourselves back into biochemical depression...and then withdrawal. Alcohol is a drug...just like anything they advertise on TV where the man's whispered voice says, essentially, "please have your doctor prescribe this stuff because our CEO wants another vacation home but by law we have to mention that you might grow another head, go blind, have limbs drop off, or develop rectal incontinence...but hey, happy thoughts!"

It's an extremely addictive chemical that makes our negative emotions worse while convincing us it makes them better.

Put it down, sweetie, and find out how you really feel once the stuff isn't messing with you? Sending you a big hug.

Bunny211

I've been there. I didn't want to die but I didn't want to live. I had no hope. I checked into detox and then into 60 days of residential treatment for starters. There is help. Please seek it. The world is a better place with you in it! Hugs

Anna

I've been there, too, feeling hopeless that I could change. Have faith that you can do this. Take one step today, take action and do one thing that will support your recovery. Maybe you could make a plan for how you will get through each day?

Dharma33

(((((emme))))

ccam1973

Great job on making this Day 1 Emme! It will get better from here, just break that cycle.

Lean on us as much as you can to help you through these tough times.

Just remember, you are not alone in this.

Upward2Enlightenment

Just remember emme, this can be your last day one.

Upward2Enlightenment

I like how you put that. They should make all alcohol advertising have those lists of potential side effects.

Grendhar

I'm only on Day 5 but I felt similar .. thought I couldn't quit. That kind of thinking keeps you down. You have to stop, rehydrate, eat, get rest, post on SR, read SR, go to a meeting if you are okay with that .. and if you still feel like you can't do it try to get some extra help like rehab if you can.

You never have to suffer with this problem again Emme. Look at people like Dee74 and Soberwolf, they've built up a good amount of time and they are happy .. they broke free.

At 5 days I'm feeling physically great and am able to shoot down any cravings I get. Get to a point you can feel better to and start making good choices .. first couple of days will definitely test you but there's light at the end of the tunnel ... follow it.

CountryChick

I can definitely relate! I was at my lowest (rock bottom) a few weeks ago! But I was able to get some help and today I'm 19 days sober! It is hard, but believe me when I tell you it does get easier. I encourage you to join a class on here. I'm part of February 2016, its for anyone trying to get sober in February. These forums have helped me so much. Just know that you are not alone. And like ScredUpInDe said, This could be your Last Day 1! Hugs

Stubbs16

Emme, I have felt the same as you do. Like I just cant overcome, get my life back. When we are in the depths of this, there seems no way out, but there really is.
Im still working on it myself, but I know its true.

Im a chronic relapser, but I still have faith, and hope that I will overcome. The despair comes from the beast. It wants to keep us chained to it. We have to fight hard against it.

Im so glad to read, you are continuing the fight. We just cant give up, ever. Sending you love, strength, hope, and much prayer.

emme99

Thanks again everyone. It is the part of the day where I battle with myself I am going to drink tonight and then I am not going to drink tonight, over & over and I don't really know how to stop it. I just need to make it home without stopping. I really want to drink but I am trying hard not to. My brother & sister in law are moving in with me this weekend and I have to stop before then as it will be next to impossible to hide it from them.

Yes, this is a big part of the guilt I feel. I want so much to be the mom she & my cats deserve, and I know I am not when I am drinking.

Hawkeye13

You can do it--buy some ice cream, snacks, herbal tea, whatever it takes
to distract you.
Take a long shower and go to bed early. Drink lots of water.
Cuddle up with that sweet pup in the photo.
Watch some old movies or cartoons if you wake up.
Read a book you like or start a journal. Fill the time.

You can and will get better. Just make it through tonight and
let tomorrow go for now.

least

My initial reason for getting sober was so that I would take better care of my dogs and cats. They weren't getting the care they needed when I was drinking.

Now I no longer feel guilty. I am taking great care of them and get them to the vet for regular exams. I am rewarded every day with their love.

On The Road

Emme. Do anything it takes to go to be sober tonight. Let that be your singular thought. I know how hard it is right now, but you can do it!