PeculiarGirl

Um, so I'm new here. I've just recently noticed this forum and I've read about people saying that they're a different person due to Alcohol. That's me, and I feel terrible. I honestly want to cut Alcohol out of my life completely. Mainly because of the pain it's causing my loved ones. I will literally say nasty, hurtful comments to my boyfriend that I don't mean, I regret it the next day and I apologise non stop. I hate that I'm hurting him because he means so much to me and he always stands by me, he's literally the most supportive boyfriend I have ever had. I've never really had a stable upbringing, my mother always had the worst choice in men. My dad was absusive, even towards me. They're separated, try have been for years, she's been with her current boyfriend for 7 years and oh my god, I wish she never met him. He's an alcoholic himself, very abusive, he treats her like ****, she treats him like ****. They argue all the time. I had to deal with him playing weird mind games with me since I was 16 (im now 24) he would literally hide things, like my mugs, my bottle of wines he even hid milk from me once (I know, it's ******* weird) he would lie and say the microwave wasn't working, he would also start random arguments with me saying I ate too much or if I would have the last bits of bread he would go crazy, no I don't eat much anyway, I weigh 7 and a half stone. It would literally be so hard to deal with I turned to drink to try and block out my horrible home life but my question is, how do I cope with being so horrible to my boyfriend? I love him so much, I hate what I'm doing to him. I hate my home life, I'm financially unstable at the moment, I have a part time job so I'm living with my mum and her boyfriend. I don't know why I take my anger out on my boyfriend. How do I stop drinking? I'm absolutely fine without it, most of my problems happen when I drink, me and my boyfriend only argue when I've been drinking. I seriously need to stop. Comments or advice would be appreciated, thank you

least

Welcome to the family. Yes, alcohol is the great Destroyer.

You'll find lots of support here. I hope we can help you get sober for good.

FreeOwl

sounds like you have a lot of great reasons to embrace sobriety and find out how joyful, meaningful, rich, deep and GOOD life really is.

Remember when you were a child? Think back to a time when you were having FUN... just really enjoying the moment and the world and the life all around you.

I'll give you a minute.... get a clear picture in your mind of that time.... I'll sit here and wait.

















*********OK - got it?***********



NOW.....


Were you drinking?






You see, the need to drink to have fun and to live a wonderful life is a great big lie. And for those of us who have found our lives increasingly owned by alcohol and addiction, the lie has grown so great that it has consumed us.



The good news is that it doesn't have to be that way - and just like that joyous, free child, we can live our lives in a simple, grateful joy again. Will there be challenges, hard times, sadness? Sure. Of course. But you see - even those don't require alcohol or drugs to get through.


Welcome.

PeculiarGirl

Thank you for replying, means a lot. It's just trying to stop drinking, it's so hard.

FreeOwl

Pro Tip - for me deciding to embrace sobriety was way easier and more effective than 'trying to quit drinking'.

Bunny211

The only thing that worked for me was AA...specifically Big Book Step Study meetings.

FreeOwl

that's where I began my journey, too....

free, everywhere, effective and proven.

amazingjoy

Hi PeculiarGirl, welcome!

I also had a lot of "baggage" due to family issues and I would lash out at my boyfriend (now husband) in the earlier days of our relationship while drinking. Half the time I was in a blackout state and wouldn't even remember what I did or said. Luckily, he was patient with me and understood my baggage.

But my drinking didn't help anything. Instead, it made all of that emotion lying under the surface come up and all my insecurities and anger came out on him.

I know it is so hard to stop drinking. You are still in your early 20's and it will be MUCH easier to stop now that to wait and deny / or not confront this. Before you know know it, days turn into months and month turn into years.

Drinking will only cause more problems.

For me it came down to the same thing as FreeOwl said, I had to want happiness of drinking/sorry/sadness. It's a crazy cycle but it really helped me not to think that I'm giving up alcohol but that I'm gaining happiness and sanity and some self worth.

Each day will come and go...the sun will set and rise again...the time will pass by no matter how you spend it. The only thing you can do is decide how you want to spend each day...and who you really want to be.

amazingjoy

Oops...typo...I meant "happiness INSTEAD of drinking/sorry/sadness" :-)