secretchord

The last two times I've been to the grocery store I stare at the bottles of wine. I want to see the new arrivals. I imagine tasting the new flavors. I miss the taste. The smell. The feeling. Why do I love wine so much? I don't understand it. I just want to wake up from this sober nightmare and drink again. I feel like I'm fooling myself.

FormerWineGirl

I won't allow myself to stop at the wine section. I avoid it like the plague.

Dee74

Thats definitely feeding the wrong wolf.

what kinds of things do you do for your recovery secretchord?
whats your plan look like?

D

least

When I found myself feeling dissatisfied in early recovery, it was recommended that I start practicing gratitude every day. At first it was hard to find even one thing I was grateful for. But it got easier, and I kept finding more things to be thankful for.

It changed my whole attitude from negative to positive. Instead of focusing on what I was "missing", I focus on what I have right now.

Try it.

secretchord

My recovery has been a lot of netflix, meditation, yoga, church, painting, reading, a lot of everything. Maybe things will be better when spring comes. February is when my "crazies" come out. I'm just bored with everything. I know I need to work on my shyness and lack of self esteem but I don't know how to even start. I beat myself down all day long. I don't know how to treat myself any different because this is all I've known.

doggonecarl

If you think you can "handle" drinking, you are fooling yourself. If you think soberiety is some sort of punishment, you are fooling yourself.

You love wine? Wine brought you here.

FLCamper

I drank a lot of wine but never really liked the taste - but you buy a $6 bottle of wine for the alcohol content not because it compliments dinner.
Stay away from the temptation. Avoid that aisle for a while.

Dee74

All those things are good distractions but I'm wondering if you don;t need something that specifically addresses your addiction and not drinking, cravings, triggers and support?

Distraction alone won't kill off the addiction any more than thinking about buying some skates will make you a champion skater

I'm not pushing any particular barrow at all, but I think you'd get something out of the links here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

Thumpalumpacus

I push right past the beer aisle. Ain't no need to wake sleeping dragons.

emme99

secretchord, I do this too. My therapist told me when I think something negative about myself, think of myself as someone else. Would I think something bad about them? Probably not. Negative thoughts still come to mind and when they do, I try to pretend I am someone else and what would I say to them? Chances are something more positive than what I am thinking about myself. All I am saying is try to treat yourself with kindness, like you would treat someone else. You deserve as much.

Zufrieden

Secretchord,
I remember the feeling well but I've worked to change my view, to remove the allure that alcohol once had.
When I look at alcohol, or think about it, I immediately take myself to the moment of a grave medical diagnosis or to my own funeral with heartbroken family members clutching each other and grieving my waste of my life and the loss in theirs..... It sounds melodramatic but it has worked quite well.
No romance left in it for me. I despise what it turned me into.
All my best to you.
Jobathan

secretchord

I will try this. Thanks!

SportsFan15

I also avoid these sections of the store and look away when I pass my former liquor stores. I refuse to visualize the drink because I loved wine, but WOW I hate the way it ruined my life. I guess I connect it with pain now.....like looking away from a horror movie in disgust.

freshstart57

Think about yourself from your best friend's point of view, or, instead, think of a best friend who might be in your situation. How would you advise them? What would you wish for them? Would you be gentle and understanding? Compassionate? Sympathetic? What would you suggest they do to move on and begin to live life again?

Think of what those things might be, make a list even. And then do that.

edit: what emme99 said.

Soberpotamus

In early recovery, I averted my eyes from the wine aisle. That's something you might have to do, even mechanically, at first until you get firmly situated in your recovery.

It's the little things done quickly and without much thought that turn into your new healthy habits.

At first, I had to focus and turn away. Eventually, it was a knee-jerk reaction to turn away. And then later on, I didn't even think about it all.

advbike

Congratulations on more than 100 days of sobriety. You're through the worst of it.

I also love beer and wine - the taste, smell, everything about it. But I don't drink it and haven't for two and a half years. I have simply accepted that it's really bad for me and will kill me. Once you accept that, it becomes a lot easier, because you don't dwell on it or consider drinking anymore. At least I don't. My life is too wonderful, even with it's ups and downs, to want to deliberately ruin it.

chrcarlson

secretchord, you asked "why do I love wine so much?" It beats me:

1. My prescribed medicines may actually work again and I won't have the anxiety that I currently have all week long.
2. I won't have to be secretive anymore.
3. I won't have to worry about what my son thinks of me.
4. I don't have to worry about getting a DWI or open bottle.
5. I won't have to feel embarrassed or guilty after a night of drinking.
6. I will likely lose weight because when I drink I binge eat too.
7. Drinking will no longer be my hobby. I will find something else to do with my time.
8. I won't have to plan my weekend around drinking.
9. I will be a healthier person both mentally and physically.

Sorry for that but sometimes it's good to read our old posts.

FarToGo

I got some good tips to manage this sort of thing on YouTube, along the lines of purposely replacing the good thoughts / memories of your favourite tipple with the most negative you can think of. If you loved the taste, think of drinking something disgusting (paint stripper, puddle water.... whatever disgusts you). If you loved the smell, replace with a really bad public toilet smell.... keep doing it in your head every time you think of your drink, even purposely think of it if you can and go into detail and sensation.
Worked for me, worth a try.
Good luck.
xx