Well... I'm back...
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I have two little girls who were a HUGE part of my decision to embrace sobriety.
I've traveled heavily throughout my career - with exactly the same dynamic as you; customers and colleagues who are all heavy-drinkin' drinkers. It's part of the culture and it creates a powerful (illusory) belief that a significant part of your value at work is your drinking prowess.
It's baloney, though.
I'm working through my third year sober. I don't travel as much anymore, because beyond the drinking issue, I finally saw how much damage the traveling life was doing to me, to my kids, to my prospects for a happy relationship, to my own enjoyment of life. It turns out that for me, I don't want to have elite status on any airline. I no longer value double-super-secret-diamond-coated-platinum benefits at Hilton. I just don't care. No amount of that rubbish is worth me becoming all the rest of those sorry-looking, self-important, sad fellow passengers in first class who've lost their hair and their health and a good portion of their lives to traveling and work.
So - I shifted. I'm now in a management position where I can look out for my team and try to minimize the impact on THEIR lives that our business demands, and where I travel far less. When I do travel, alcohol is no longer an issue. I can go out with clients, colleagues, go to Vegas for ten days at a stretch, whatever. It's not a problem anymore. It took me a good year to get comfortable with it.... but as it turns out I'm now more respected and valuable at work than I'd been in quite some time. The heavy drinking whirlwind - it turns out - doesn't make or break a career. In fact, once I got sober I began to realize how few of the ACTUAL leaders and execs in our organization participated in that. I've found a number of role models who don't drink at all. Very successful folks. Leaders.
It's all baloney.
Here's the other thing..... they have AA in Austin. And Vegas. And London. And even Singapore. Pretty much anywhere they might send you - you'll find an AA meeting available. The Big Book packs nicely in a laptop case and is a great bedtime read and reminder.
I have a friend, colleague and mentor who closed $475M in business last year and is one of the top performers in his division - time and again - for the past 20+ years.
He's also 30+ years sober. He travels all the time. He's a global complex deal leader and he spends more time on the road than he does at home year after year. He's sober, and in addition to all that work success, he is a sponsor for numerous folks. Some of them, at work. I've had several colleagues approach me asking me how I did it... wishing they too could find a path to a healthier, happier life.
The point of all this is that your travel need not be an excuse. You need not even DO this job... there are lots of ways to make a living, and if it comes down to it - money isn't worth losing your children, your wife, your life. But, if you like what you do and you're good at it, then you can absolutely do it sober. And, if you choose that route, I will offer you my personal GURANTEE that you'll do your job better than ever and you'll see yourself far more successful in the long run than if you continue to do it as an active alcoholic.
Plus, you'll begin to actually really enjoy your travels because instead of the same old whirlwind of meetings - restaurants - bars - early morning vomiting - back to meetings, back to happy hour - restaurants - bars - repeat...... you will begin to find all sorts of unique and interesting things to do and see and experience on the road. I've taken self-directed running tours through Austin, Vegas, London, Paris, China, Australia, and many other places.... crossfit gyms are everywhere and always have early morning sessions. Great ways to wake up, get fit, meet new people in your travels. Sushi - as it turns out - winds up way better than ever when you're having it with green tea instead of three bottles of sake. There are interesting museums, concerts, performances, art exhibits.... all KINDS of things you never realized were going on while you were spending 6 hours a night getting sauced up.
You can do it.
And if you do, you will be amazed at the life you discover.
I've traveled heavily throughout my career - with exactly the same dynamic as you; customers and colleagues who are all heavy-drinkin' drinkers. It's part of the culture and it creates a powerful (illusory) belief that a significant part of your value at work is your drinking prowess.
It's baloney, though.
I'm working through my third year sober. I don't travel as much anymore, because beyond the drinking issue, I finally saw how much damage the traveling life was doing to me, to my kids, to my prospects for a happy relationship, to my own enjoyment of life. It turns out that for me, I don't want to have elite status on any airline. I no longer value double-super-secret-diamond-coated-platinum benefits at Hilton. I just don't care. No amount of that rubbish is worth me becoming all the rest of those sorry-looking, self-important, sad fellow passengers in first class who've lost their hair and their health and a good portion of their lives to traveling and work.
So - I shifted. I'm now in a management position where I can look out for my team and try to minimize the impact on THEIR lives that our business demands, and where I travel far less. When I do travel, alcohol is no longer an issue. I can go out with clients, colleagues, go to Vegas for ten days at a stretch, whatever. It's not a problem anymore. It took me a good year to get comfortable with it.... but as it turns out I'm now more respected and valuable at work than I'd been in quite some time. The heavy drinking whirlwind - it turns out - doesn't make or break a career. In fact, once I got sober I began to realize how few of the ACTUAL leaders and execs in our organization participated in that. I've found a number of role models who don't drink at all. Very successful folks. Leaders.
It's all baloney.
Here's the other thing..... they have AA in Austin. And Vegas. And London. And even Singapore. Pretty much anywhere they might send you - you'll find an AA meeting available. The Big Book packs nicely in a laptop case and is a great bedtime read and reminder.
I have a friend, colleague and mentor who closed $475M in business last year and is one of the top performers in his division - time and again - for the past 20+ years.
He's also 30+ years sober. He travels all the time. He's a global complex deal leader and he spends more time on the road than he does at home year after year. He's sober, and in addition to all that work success, he is a sponsor for numerous folks. Some of them, at work. I've had several colleagues approach me asking me how I did it... wishing they too could find a path to a healthier, happier life.
The point of all this is that your travel need not be an excuse. You need not even DO this job... there are lots of ways to make a living, and if it comes down to it - money isn't worth losing your children, your wife, your life. But, if you like what you do and you're good at it, then you can absolutely do it sober. And, if you choose that route, I will offer you my personal GURANTEE that you'll do your job better than ever and you'll see yourself far more successful in the long run than if you continue to do it as an active alcoholic.
Plus, you'll begin to actually really enjoy your travels because instead of the same old whirlwind of meetings - restaurants - bars - early morning vomiting - back to meetings, back to happy hour - restaurants - bars - repeat...... you will begin to find all sorts of unique and interesting things to do and see and experience on the road. I've taken self-directed running tours through Austin, Vegas, London, Paris, China, Australia, and many other places.... crossfit gyms are everywhere and always have early morning sessions. Great ways to wake up, get fit, meet new people in your travels. Sushi - as it turns out - winds up way better than ever when you're having it with green tea instead of three bottles of sake. There are interesting museums, concerts, performances, art exhibits.... all KINDS of things you never realized were going on while you were spending 6 hours a night getting sauced up.
You can do it.
And if you do, you will be amazed at the life you discover.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
Great post FreeOwl, thanks for taking the time. You're spot on with so many of your points. Unfortunately, travel will always be a part of what I do unless I decide to take a considerable step backwards with my career choice. All of my partners have to travel the same as I do, and I enjoy what I do... I do plan on doing it sober from now on though, and plan on enjoying the things that life has to offer on the road that I have not taken advantage of up until this point (aside from drunkeness).
Some may call it a "pink cloud" or whatever, but I am actually very excited about the prospect of seeing how much better I can perform at what I do sober... Hell, I've gotten as much done in the hotel room tonight as I would normally get done during a regular work day in the office. Beats the heck out of wasting the night away at the hotel bar, and I have no worries about being able to wake up tomorrow to catch a 7:40 AM flight...
Some may call it a "pink cloud" or whatever, but I am actually very excited about the prospect of seeing how much better I can perform at what I do sober... Hell, I've gotten as much done in the hotel room tonight as I would normally get done during a regular work day in the office. Beats the heck out of wasting the night away at the hotel bar, and I have no worries about being able to wake up tomorrow to catch a 7:40 AM flight...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
14 days down. Glad I can start counting weeks as opposed to days... Also, Friday marked the end of a 7 week stretch where I was on the road Tues-Fri each week. Looking forward to the next two weeks at my home office... I'll have a solid month sober before I travel again...
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by ForMyGirls 
14 days down. Glad I can start counting weeks as opposed to days... Also, Friday marked the end of a 7 week stretch where I was on the road Tues-Fri each week. Looking forward to the next two weeks at my home office... I'll have a solid month sober before I travel again...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
Update... Still going strong! Tomorrow will be one month. I'm certain that I have not gone a full month without drinking since early high school (almost 30 years ago). Feels great!!! Not looking forward to being on the road again this week, but I'm confident in my resolve. Hope everyone else has a great week!!!
The first of many sober months. Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
FMG, tell yourself you will continue to succeed, because it is within your ability to do so. You will succeed because this is a necessary condition for you to have the life you deserve. It isn't sufficient alone, but without an unconditional sobriety you will surely fail. I came to understand I could have my life, full and rich as I chose to make it, or I could take that drink. I could never have both.
I was like you, with two young girls but I kept drinking for another decade, not quitting until they were in their 20s. It did not go well. I am fortunate that still have a good relationship with them, but now it is because they have seen me pull myself up and out and remake myself. I see now how much pain I caused, and would much better have done as you are doing now.
You are well on your way with a solid month of sobriety. Time to start filling up this life now with the things that will make it something of which you will be so GD proud. Kicking the booze is a great start, a massive achievement on its own, and a triumph of your spirit. Onward!
I was like you, with two young girls but I kept drinking for another decade, not quitting until they were in their 20s. It did not go well. I am fortunate that still have a good relationship with them, but now it is because they have seen me pull myself up and out and remake myself. I see now how much pain I caused, and would much better have done as you are doing now.
You are well on your way with a solid month of sobriety. Time to start filling up this life now with the things that will make it something of which you will be so GD proud. Kicking the booze is a great start, a massive achievement on its own, and a triumph of your spirit. Onward!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
Thanks everyone! Yes, I have no doubt that I'll make it through this week without a drink. Free happy hour at the hotel be DAMNED!!! 
Sad thing is, the travel coordinator knows which hotel brands offer the free happy hours, and tries to book those brands if at all available (at the request of everyone who travels except for me now). Oh well... lol
Sad thing is, the travel coordinator knows which hotel brands offer the free happy hours, and tries to book those brands if at all available (at the request of everyone who travels except for me now). Oh well... lol
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