Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 3
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
I need to learn to STAY away from toxic people. That's what I need to learn to do.
One of my triggers for sure are a handful of snobby high class school mums at my sons school. They are all married stay at home mums. My son is 8 years old.
They gather around outside the classrooms about 10 minutes before the bell goes, and sit around gossiping and judging other mums. I know they do, Im not stupid, they don't even hide the fact.
Whenever Im approaching, they ALL look directly at me and then start leaning into eachother and talking, then look at me again, then lean in and talk, and so it goes on. Done say hi to me when they are all together. They cowards and sycophants do say hi to me of they are alone without their little group. Two faced. Makes me sick.
On those days I come home and drink a lot. I feel so bad and low about myself. I feel rejected big time. Thing is......I have never had any arguments or disagreements with any of them. I come home and very quietly seethe with anger. I want to ring them up (we all get a school directly with everybodys names and numbers) and ask what they say about me. I know they are spreading it too. They aren't just keeping it amongst themselves.
Mind you, this isn't all the mums, only about 6 of them.
I avoid picking my son up from outside the classroom anymore because of them.
Im just wondering if its alcohol related? I wonder if one of them, or more, has picked up that Ive been half drunk at school pick up at 3pm? Ive never ever arrived there blind drunk. But I wonder if my breath has smelt strong of alcohol at 3pm, and they have picked up on it. I have only picked him up from school half drunk a few times by the way, and Ive always walked (never driven), we only live 10 minutes walk to school. And that is true. Thing is.......the times I drank half a bottle of wine before picking him up was because I felt as though I needed dutch courage to face the gossiping mums. Chicken or the egg you ask? Definitely started having a few wines at 2pm so I could face them.
One of my triggers for sure are a handful of snobby high class school mums at my sons school. They are all married stay at home mums. My son is 8 years old.
They gather around outside the classrooms about 10 minutes before the bell goes, and sit around gossiping and judging other mums. I know they do, Im not stupid, they don't even hide the fact.
Whenever Im approaching, they ALL look directly at me and then start leaning into eachother and talking, then look at me again, then lean in and talk, and so it goes on. Done say hi to me when they are all together. They cowards and sycophants do say hi to me of they are alone without their little group. Two faced. Makes me sick.
On those days I come home and drink a lot. I feel so bad and low about myself. I feel rejected big time. Thing is......I have never had any arguments or disagreements with any of them. I come home and very quietly seethe with anger. I want to ring them up (we all get a school directly with everybodys names and numbers) and ask what they say about me. I know they are spreading it too. They aren't just keeping it amongst themselves.
Mind you, this isn't all the mums, only about 6 of them.
I avoid picking my son up from outside the classroom anymore because of them.
Im just wondering if its alcohol related? I wonder if one of them, or more, has picked up that Ive been half drunk at school pick up at 3pm? Ive never ever arrived there blind drunk. But I wonder if my breath has smelt strong of alcohol at 3pm, and they have picked up on it. I have only picked him up from school half drunk a few times by the way, and Ive always walked (never driven), we only live 10 minutes walk to school. And that is true. Thing is.......the times I drank half a bottle of wine before picking him up was because I felt as though I needed dutch courage to face the gossiping mums. Chicken or the egg you ask? Definitely started having a few wines at 2pm so I could face them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pa
Posts: 50
Hey Cococo,I am doing ok. Thanks for asking. I just haven't been overly enthusiastic about quitting. I know I have to do it and I want to do it but I am torn. I do need to start exercising. Going to try and start tomorrow with that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Aww..Cococo... It is just awful that you have to be faced with that kind of behavior every day, from adults! Toxic is definitely the word, and I think the best thing to do is hold your head high but avoid them at all costs. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. Whether or not they ever suspected you were drinking, I know its easy to wonder and worry about that, but all you can do now is stay sober and do you best not to even think about them, what they say or think. UGH, I'm so angry just hearing the story!
And thanks for the warm welcome back
And thanks for the warm welcome back
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Yeah, even if its only 15 minutes of exercising at a time. But try and do it at least twice a day, which will total 30 minutes per day.
It really does help with lifting ones mood a bit- believe me!
I try and do 15 minutes on my treadmill 4x per day. Ive got it placed right in front of the television. I put the telly on, or music sometimes, and off I go. Sometimes I have to REALLY drag myself on the thing, but I force myself because I know I ALWAYS feel better when I get off. EVERY single time I feel better afterwards.
I find the harder I push myself on the treadmill, the more I get my heart rate up, the better I feel afterwards. If I just do a Sunday stroll on there, I find the effect is not as good. But that's just me. You can always start small and build on the exercise depending on your current age, health and fitness.
It really does help with lifting ones mood a bit- believe me!
I try and do 15 minutes on my treadmill 4x per day. Ive got it placed right in front of the television. I put the telly on, or music sometimes, and off I go. Sometimes I have to REALLY drag myself on the thing, but I force myself because I know I ALWAYS feel better when I get off. EVERY single time I feel better afterwards.
I find the harder I push myself on the treadmill, the more I get my heart rate up, the better I feel afterwards. If I just do a Sunday stroll on there, I find the effect is not as good. But that's just me. You can always start small and build on the exercise depending on your current age, health and fitness.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pa
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Cococo 
Yeah, even if its only 15 minutes of exercising at a time. But try and do it at least twice a day, which will total 30 minutes per day.
It really does help - believe me!
I try and do 15 minutes on my treadmill 4x per day. Ive got it placed right in front of the television. I put the telly on, or music sometimes, and off I go. Sometimes I have to REALLY drag myself on the thing, but I force myself because I know I ALWAYS feel better when I get off. EVERY single time I feel better afterwards.
It really does help - believe me!
I try and do 15 minutes on my treadmill 4x per day. Ive got it placed right in front of the television. I put the telly on, or music sometimes, and off I go. Sometimes I have to REALLY drag myself on the thing, but I force myself because I know I ALWAYS feel better when I get off. EVERY single time I feel better afterwards.
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Thanks Oro. I find myself wanting to call you Oreo for some weird reason haha. I love Oreo biscuits!
They ARE talking about me. But anyway......youre right......Ive got to take myself to "WHO CARES" land with them. I MUST concentrate on ME and not them.
Yeah, start with 15 minutes. If you don't have any equipment it doesn't matter. I only recently got my treadmill (for Christmas), before that I did a 20 minute walk up my road (its HILLY) and back, my lungs were screaming hot and burning when I got to top. Other days, to mix it up, I turned on some music and did 15 minutes in my lounge room, running on the spot, star jumps etc....I just looked on youtube for ideas of what to do. Other days, I run up and down my outside stairs. Its just 1 flight of stairs, but I just went up and down for 15 minutes straight without stopping. I set my mobile alarm for 15 minutes. Then I have 2 big glasses of cold water from the fridge.
You don't need equipment. Look on youtube. The gentle floor stretching exercises are good too, but its the hard out lung burning haha exercises that really help, they get the bodys natural feel good chemicals flowing. But anything is good to get you started.
Try 15 minutes TWICE a day. But not directly before bed. Its hard to sleep when youre all pumped up haha. I try and do my last 15 mins about 3 hours before bed, no later.
Let me know how it goes.
They ARE talking about me. But anyway......youre right......Ive got to take myself to "WHO CARES" land with them. I MUST concentrate on ME and not them.
Yeah, start with 15 minutes. If you don't have any equipment it doesn't matter. I only recently got my treadmill (for Christmas), before that I did a 20 minute walk up my road (its HILLY) and back, my lungs were screaming hot and burning when I got to top. Other days, to mix it up, I turned on some music and did 15 minutes in my lounge room, running on the spot, star jumps etc....I just looked on youtube for ideas of what to do. Other days, I run up and down my outside stairs. Its just 1 flight of stairs, but I just went up and down for 15 minutes straight without stopping. I set my mobile alarm for 15 minutes. Then I have 2 big glasses of cold water from the fridge.
You don't need equipment. Look on youtube. The gentle floor stretching exercises are good too, but its the hard out lung burning haha exercises that really help, they get the bodys natural feel good chemicals flowing. But anything is good to get you started.
Try 15 minutes TWICE a day. But not directly before bed. Its hard to sleep when youre all pumped up haha. I try and do my last 15 mins about 3 hours before bed, no later.
Let me know how it goes.
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Hey thanks For.
But please don't get angry on my behalf. Keep yourself positive. I know what you mean though, I always stick up for the underdog, but I don't want you to get angry.
I have a plan for those women! IGNORE and AVOID.
I will give them the same treatment that they give me, IGNORE, its only fair. And head up high as you said.
I thought about it today and thought "NO BLOODY WAY, Im NOT allowing them to make me feel like dirt any longer, that's it, Ive had enough!!! AND I DONT need a few drinks to face them. In fact, ironically, Im stronger and more confident facing them cold hard sober"
But please don't get angry on my behalf. Keep yourself positive. I know what you mean though, I always stick up for the underdog, but I don't want you to get angry.
I have a plan for those women! IGNORE and AVOID.
I will give them the same treatment that they give me, IGNORE, its only fair. And head up high as you said.
I thought about it today and thought "NO BLOODY WAY, Im NOT allowing them to make me feel like dirt any longer, that's it, Ive had enough!!! AND I DONT need a few drinks to face them. In fact, ironically, Im stronger and more confident facing them cold hard sober"
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Coco you should be our class / day tracker! I'm game! I'm on day 11 today.
Hi cute N gay, I remember you from before, welcome!!
And welcome back FABL!
Sober plans for the upcoming week: I'm going to get to yoga tomorrow night. I'll also have a painter coming over to start a little project.
I just finished a healthy vegetarian meal. (I'm not vegetarian full time but I try to have days where I don't eat meat.). It's nice to be eating well. When I'm drinking I frequently eat unhealthy foods or nothing at all - when I'm drunk, food is an annoyance, I'd rather drink my calories.
I'm feeling a little bored and restless but I know I'll be sober today. I'll take bored and sober any day over a day with a blackout or hangover.....
Hi cute N gay, I remember you from before, welcome!!
And welcome back FABL!
Sober plans for the upcoming week: I'm going to get to yoga tomorrow night. I'll also have a painter coming over to start a little project.
I just finished a healthy vegetarian meal. (I'm not vegetarian full time but I try to have days where I don't eat meat.). It's nice to be eating well. When I'm drinking I frequently eat unhealthy foods or nothing at all - when I'm drunk, food is an annoyance, I'd rather drink my calories.
I'm feeling a little bored and restless but I know I'll be sober today. I'll take bored and sober any day over a day with a blackout or hangover.....
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Hi Kitty
You are 100% correct there! Its a hundred times better to be a tad bored and sober than the alternative.
Is there something you can do to lift that little bit of boredom? You wont believe what I did today! Its so OCD! Well, I went through every single drawer in my dressing table (its a biggin too) and organised it to the ninth degree. I designated 1 drawer for 1 particular type of item.....1 for undies/bras, 1 for tee shirts, 1 for belts/scarves, 1 for this, 1 for that. And I folded everything really perfectly like they do in stores. And I put everything in colour order haha......as in from black at the bottom, then dark colours, then medium colours, then white. Then I did my wardrobe.......all pants grouped together, all dresses grouped together and so on. And colour ordered too.
I will try, but I will do it tonight in bed with my laptop. Its only about 2 or 3pm here and Ive got a few things to do now, but later I will give it a go. I can cut and paste and just add a day to everybodys tally, so once the initial list has been done (which might take a while), it will be easy from there.
Its good to eat vegetarian a few times a week. I have 3 vego days per week. I still eat protein, its just vego protein (eggs, yoghurt, cheese, hummus, beans etc), I cant stand that tofu though!!! Absolutely disgusting haha
You are 100% correct there! Its a hundred times better to be a tad bored and sober than the alternative.
Is there something you can do to lift that little bit of boredom? You wont believe what I did today! Its so OCD! Well, I went through every single drawer in my dressing table (its a biggin too) and organised it to the ninth degree. I designated 1 drawer for 1 particular type of item.....1 for undies/bras, 1 for tee shirts, 1 for belts/scarves, 1 for this, 1 for that. And I folded everything really perfectly like they do in stores. And I put everything in colour order haha......as in from black at the bottom, then dark colours, then medium colours, then white. Then I did my wardrobe.......all pants grouped together, all dresses grouped together and so on. And colour ordered too.
I will try, but I will do it tonight in bed with my laptop. Its only about 2 or 3pm here and Ive got a few things to do now, but later I will give it a go. I can cut and paste and just add a day to everybodys tally, so once the initial list has been done (which might take a while), it will be easy from there.
Its good to eat vegetarian a few times a week. I have 3 vego days per week. I still eat protein, its just vego protein (eggs, yoghurt, cheese, hummus, beans etc), I cant stand that tofu though!!! Absolutely disgusting haha
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Im off now. But rest assured Im feeling generally steadfast today. I have had a few brief fleeting thoughts about drinking but Ive managed to shut them down fairly quickly and successfully.
Earlier my AV tried to convince me, ONCE AGAIN, "that having just 1 bottle of wine tonight would be ok because Ive only had 2 bottles in the past week (nothing for 2 whole days though since going sober), and that most people would have 2 bottles a week so Im not that bad".
I quickly told it "Actually, Cococo doesn't drink anymore full stop, so bugger off".
And I know my AV says "just 1 bottle" to get me drinking again, its a trick, it knows full well it wont be 1, and it wont be 1 twice a week.
I am onto you AV!
Earlier my AV tried to convince me, ONCE AGAIN, "that having just 1 bottle of wine tonight would be ok because Ive only had 2 bottles in the past week (nothing for 2 whole days though since going sober), and that most people would have 2 bottles a week so Im not that bad".
I quickly told it "Actually, Cococo doesn't drink anymore full stop, so bugger off".
And I know my AV says "just 1 bottle" to get me drinking again, its a trick, it knows full well it wont be 1, and it wont be 1 twice a week.
I am onto you AV!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by forabetterlife
Aww..Cococo... It is just awful that you have to be faced with that kind of behavior every day, from adults! Toxic is definitely the word, and I think the best thing to do is hold your head high but avoid them at all costs. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. Whether or not they ever suspected you were drinking, I know its easy to wonder and worry about that, but all you can do now is stay sober and do you best not to even think about them, what they say or think. UGH, I'm so angry just hearing the story!
And thanks for the warm welcome back
And thanks for the warm welcome back
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
Just checking in, made it through Day 17! It's been my hardest day so far. I had some personal problems come up with my boyfriend. I have so much trouble dealing with stress and worries while I'm sober. I've always tried to drink my problems away and I know it never works. I came so close to buying beer today. But thankfully I never gave in, I know there will be many more days just like this. Hope everyone is doing good, I enjoy reading all your posts.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi all, just checking in before heading to bed. I just realized today was 1 week sober for me. I sure felt a lot better today than I did last Sunday. AV was pretty quiet today, which was nice. However I am noticing that around 4ish everyday I become really tired and irritable. Like I just want the day to be over so I can go to bed. I don't really like evenings much right now, but I know it is going to take time to get back into some healthy routines.
(((FABL))) so glad you are back. We are so similar in our thinking and drinking patterns - I know exactly how you are feeling. Let's do this together and be done with this miserable roller coaster
Hope everyone is doing ok tonight. Keep your chins up - we have to keep believing that this will all be worth it. Dee says so, so it must be true
(((FABL))) so glad you are back. We are so similar in our thinking and drinking patterns - I know exactly how you are feeling. Let's do this together and be done with this miserable roller coaster
Hope everyone is doing ok tonight. Keep your chins up - we have to keep believing that this will all be worth it. Dee says so, so it must be true
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,021
Hello everyone. It's evening here on the east coast US. In a few hours I'll have 14 days sober, so that's two weeks. But as I've mentioned in earlier posts, my usual modus operandi is to go two or three weeks between drinking bouts. So I'm not patting myself too much on the back tonight.
However, I have been working diligently to understand that a life without alcohol does not equal deprivation of any sort. I've also restarted my Buddhist studies to help me maintain a moral and ethical balance, and I've also been doing mindful mediation 2x each day. Both have helped keep my mind on worthwhile endeavors and have kept me from day dreaming about drinking.
Well done to all of us who were sober today. Remember, we are all stronger than we realize.
Peace
However, I have been working diligently to understand that a life without alcohol does not equal deprivation of any sort. I've also restarted my Buddhist studies to help me maintain a moral and ethical balance, and I've also been doing mindful mediation 2x each day. Both have helped keep my mind on worthwhile endeavors and have kept me from day dreaming about drinking.
Well done to all of us who were sober today. Remember, we are all stronger than we realize.
Peace
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
I don't mind a class and day count. I will be behind though.
Unfortunately, day 1 tomorrow. There was a little left so that is gone now. I want to keep posting so that I don't let myself off easily.
I will definitely be posting more tomorrow, I'm sure, to keep myself on track. I am so disappointed in myself. I need to re-read the recovery plan post.
I wish I had a person I could text when I'm tempted to cave. Someone that would reply quickly, reminding me why I CANNOT. I realize that may sound like an AA sponsor? But I'm not sure I am ready or willing for that. I also realize it sounds silly bc I should just log on here..
Unfortunately, day 1 tomorrow. There was a little left so that is gone now. I want to keep posting so that I don't let myself off easily.
I will definitely be posting more tomorrow, I'm sure, to keep myself on track. I am so disappointed in myself. I need to re-read the recovery plan post.
I wish I had a person I could text when I'm tempted to cave. Someone that would reply quickly, reminding me why I CANNOT. I realize that may sound like an AA sponsor? But I'm not sure I am ready or willing for that. I also realize it sounds silly bc I should just log on here..
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