Wastinglife

Growing up my family had a dog that would get agitated when we left. We tied him up to a tree with a leash with a bowl of water. For longer trips, we left him in a room with the door shut. Our dog was fine and just slept it seemed. are those options?

Meraviglioso

He's such a good boy. I really hate domestic animals, I've never wanted a pet, but I do have a heart. I pet him and throw the ball. But it is driving me mad! I don't want a pet dog! But how do you ignore an animal in need? I can't! I have tried taking him home and he keeps escaping and coming back!!!!! It is making me crazy!!!

Meraviglioso

I guess I could wastinglife, but he is huge and smelly and my house is tiny (about 600 sf). He would destroy my house.

least

Can you report that the dog is being neglected and comes to your house for food and attention? If he were being taken care of at your ex's, he wouldn't be coming to your place. This is so unfair for the poor dog. And so unfair that it's falling on you to care for this dog.

Meraviglioso

I might have to. The problem is, as mych as I DO NOT, want a pet I can't help but love the poor guy. If I called the authorities he'd get stuck in a kennel/shelter and I don't have the heart to do that to him. I 'm just massively pissed that my rx is not taking care of his own dog!!!! My kids have asked for a cat or dog repeatedly and I have always refused because I know I don't have the energy to give an animal a good life. I don't like pets but I do have a heart amd feel like animals deserve a good life.

Dee74

Hi Mera

I think if you feel the situation is threatening your sobriety you really have no choice but to put yourself first.

D

teatreeoil007

We used to have some neighbors who were German Shepherd dog rescuers and trainers. They taught us about being dog owners in town, which was something I wasn't good at yet because I grew up on a farm and concept of needing a secure fence for them was quite foreign. Anyways, there came a point in time that I felt our family NEEDED a good dog. The shepherd class is hard to beat, really. They are very smart, trainable, teachable, good companions, and great watch-dogs/guard dogs. Working dogs have always been my favorites.

They basically said that dogs are pack animals and they want to BE with you. (practically all the time). So just get used to the idea that they are not like cats who sometimes want to be left alone, right? They cannot hardly get enough of you. They pick their master whom they consider to be the pack leader. It's possible that dog has chosen you? No you haven't chosen it, but it has likely chosen YOU. Your decision what to do about it, darlin'.

I want to ask you if you might see that dog taking a liking to you as perhaps a blessing in disguise; especially if you are now a single person? Sure you could find a way to get the dog back to the ex, BUT, it would be sad to send an animal back to someone who won't take care of it. In my opinion, the dog deserves better! Remember this is coming from an animal lovers viewpoint, 'k?

uncorked

I'm with teatree. It's possible that this big lug of a mutt could help you in your recovery. A dog's love and loyalty know no bounds. I have a lab (didn't want one, my husband did, and now he moved out) and she is always happy to see me no matter how bad my day is. Maybe with a little training and bedroom doors closed, your dog could be ok inside. But obviously, if it is affecting your sobriety you can't keep him.

Delfin

Mera, I'm so sorry for the problems this dog is causing you. I'm a single mom and have a dog and several other pets, so I know how much work it all can be. I'm an animal lover though, so I don't mind the work.
A couple of thoughts: A big dog needs attention and exercise. Can you or your ex find him a neighborhood kid to play with him or dogsit for a few hours?. Get your ex to pay him a few bucks.
Or maybe you can play hardball with your ex and tell him that he either takes better care of the dog or you put the dog on ItaliaCraigslist. Hopefully, that will persuade him to be a better pet owner.

Good luck, Mera!

Delfin

teatreeoil007

We have one dog and one cat and they are buds. The cat thinks he's 1/2 dog; he tries to herd us toward his food dish when he wants to be fed. Funniest thing: as you walk by him he meows real loud and likes to take a swipe with his paw at your feet and legs until he's got you going in the "right" direction. Yes, of course he usually gets his way...

teatreeoil007

Mera: Of COURSE your sobriety takes first place, I forgot to let you know that you have that support coming your way, 'k? I hope it works out with the dog. If he's a German Shepherd, he's smart and he will protect you.

Rcvringaddict30

I'm sorry to hear about your dilemma, but I couldn't help but chuckle thinking how it reminded me of the movie 'As good as it gets' where Jack Nicholson's character has to care for his injured neighbor's little dog. He absolutely detests the dog in the beginning, but grows attached to the little bugger as the movie goes on. You never know when you might decide you need him and that he might help you with your sobriety but if not hopefully you'll be able to resolve it so that he is cared for by someone else. I'm curious to know how this works out.

Steely

Maybe look at some of those dog trading videos that will help you to keep the dog in check. Sounds like the dog is ruling the roost and it should be the other way around. Sit, heel. I love dogs too.

teatreeoil007

Good movie. Yep, sometimes it's as good as it gets.

grizzlybearblue

I'm sorry to hear he is stressing you out, but I want to tell you I think it's awesome how you are caring for him! The way people treat animals says a lot about them, and what I'm hearing is you are a great person. Thank you for taking care of that innocent animal.
When we lived in Germany, we started pet sitting a German Shepard on the weekends. Ol' Lucky Dog was ten when I met him, and I didn't want to pet sit because he was so old and I didn't want to get attached. I didn't like his big bat ears at first either. He turned out to be the best dog I ever had. I did not give him back to his careless owner and had him for seven years. He was such an amazing dog and loyal companion. Because of Ol' Lucky Dog I will forever have a special place in my heart for shepards. I didn't want him at first either, but I have definitely never regretted it.

Meraviglioso

Thanks for listening and the advice. I'm trying to do my best here, it is just irritating how much time dealing with this dog takes. I'm definitely going to allow him to stay until the gardener returns. We'll see what happens then. I just went to check on him, he is asleep directly in front of my front door, like right up against it. I had invited him in last night but he seemed to prefer being outside. He seems to love me. Whyyyyyyyyyy???????????????

Dee74

Dogs are programmed to protect. For whatever reason he's decided you need protecting.

Its quite sweet in a way?

D

Meraviglioso

I'll look up the training videos. It would be less an issue if he could just stop being so crazy. I nearly have a heart attack every time he runs in the road. The stress is so great it is physical, I feel my whole body tense up watching him in the road.
I suppose I could tie him up but that seems cruel and he is so strong anyway he'd find a way to escape. He is massively fast and strong. The few times I have absolutely had to leave I have sped down the road in 4th or even 5th gear and he keeps up for a good 500 meters.

Meraviglioso

Grrrrrrrr. I guess. I'd accept his love if he would just behave! I do not have the time or energy for this.

Berrybean

Is there a reason you can't leave him in your house? He seems to love you and want to be around you. (Might be worth getting him bathed and treated for fleas though - both simple enough to be arranged I'd have thought).

You know - one thing I've come to firmly believe in the last couple of years is that we generally end up getting given what we NEED in recovery (as opposed to what we WANT) when we stop fighting it.

You don't have to fight it : Playing with the dog. Walking the dog. Feeding the dog. Caring for another creature. Receiving unconditional love. All of these could be distractions from drink and healing experiences if you didn't choose 'stressing about the dog' over them (which is the thing threatening your sobriety - ie your choice of perception and decision to velcro yourself to the negative emotion surrounding a problem to be solved, not the dog itself).