Dee74

Hi Grendhar - whats happening?

D

Grendhar

Just got home from a meeting. Was a good one.

MikeM

Hi Grendhar! Wonderful to hear you had a good meeting!

Are there any other things you are doing to work on your sobriety?

Grendhar

I don't really have a firm foundation under me yet .. all I know is the meeting last night was still fresh on my mind when I woke up and I'm motivated not to drink today and go to another meeting tonight.

There is a man who told my father that he would sponsor me .. I'm supposed to call him but haven't gotten the nerve to yet. I have social anxiety.

Hawkeye13

Having a sponsor will really help--I hope you can make the call soon.
Keep posting, especially if you are feeling any cravings.
We can support you

Grendhar

I know it is going to be tough for a while .. my entire life has revolved around drinking for years. Either drinking or wanting a drink really bad. When I had a job I would watch the clock and buy beer immediately when I would get out. My girlfriend has suffered as a result of my drinking as well .. besides the obvious safety concerns about riding around with a drunk person at the wheel, I've avoided doing things like going to the movies and normal things that people do to entertain themselves. I would take her to restaurants because they have beer .. but most nights for the years she's been with me is come home .. watch tv, drink, annoy her, pass out ... repeat the next day.

I want to look at all this in the past tense .. a very distant part of my past and be able to just think "I can't believe I lived like that."

MikeM

Me too. It's fading quickly though. I never got over the cause while drinking but now that I'm sober, a lot of problems that should have been resolved, are being resolved.

Take the sponsor! This is a golden opportunity. Just call. If you're going to be nervous, you might as well get it over with. I'm sure it's a nice guy and if you explain to him that you have social anxiety and that it's a difficult call for you, he'll understand.

Stop thinking, pick up the phone, make the call. Then come back and tell us how it went.

FormerWineGirl

Hi Grendhar, glad to hear you are motivated not to drink today. Its tough at first, but as everyone says it does get easier. Building a sober life is so worth it!

Grendhar

Didn't go to meeting tonight .. didn't sleep well last night and have been tired all day. Didn't drink though. Am hoping to get some sleep tonight and catch a meeting in the morning.

Soberwolf

Sounds good Grendhar

Grendhar

Woke up an hour or so ago. I slept more last night so I'm in a decent mood this morning. Headed to a meeting soon.

Soberwolf

Have a excellent meeting Gredhar

MikeM

Trust me, call the sponsor. And if you want, let us know how it went. We will probably all read how it went well.

Grendhar

Meeting went well.

MikeM

Good to hear! I've pm'ed you btw.

What have you learned from the meetings so far?

Grendhar

The conclusion I'm coming to from the meetings is that "Just not drinking" is not enough. Sooner or later my motivation to not drink will be tested and if my only strategy is "Just don't drink" .. it likely won't be enough.

I know that's been said on SR a lot. Somehow all of this has been right on my screen for a long time here on SR but it hasn't started really sinking in until I hear from people in person.

Something about the faces, the joy, the tears, the feeling of humanity. I know you are all very real and it was SR that got me motivated again .. I guess what I'm trying to say is I think I need SR as well as A.A.

Grendhar

Anyway .. may as well give an update. Months back I posted a thread saying I can't ever make it past day 3 .. I would make it to 2 and a half days and cave in. I made it to the 4th day once but never finished the day without a drink.

I am currently on day 3. Lately it's been hard to even get back to day 3 .. have been caving in on day 2.

As I said I went to one meeting this morning .. I am eating and drinking water to try to stay feeling as well as I can. I think I need to go another meeting this evening. Day 4 is tomorrow .. never have made it to Day 5. Hoping if I have two meetings worth of things in my head and a bunch of SR things in my head before I go to sleep, I will wake up motivated again and succeed.

MikeM

That's wonderful Grendhar. It's getting through to you. I won't push you about it anymore after this, but would you really want to miss out on the incredible things a sponsor can do for you? Or prevent you from doing? It's up to you. Pick up the phone. You can do it.

MikeM

Thanks for your honesty. This time things will be different. Because you're doing different things. Hand in there, stay strong and in a while it gets so much easier. Be careful about complacency though. Which, well, my... a sponsor would be good for you.

Grendhar

I know the meeting he goes to every morning .. I think rather than making a phone call out of the blue I may just show up at that meeting. My father will be there too so it'd help with my anxiety because he can introduce us.