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Old 02-15-2016, 11:25 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Hi,
Happy to have joined you all here looking for help and have lots of questions....
Do I really have an alcohol problem if I drink every day ?
Will my spouse stay with me in sober life ?
Thanks and hello to you all.
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Old 02-15-2016, 11:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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How much are you drinking daily?
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Old 02-15-2016, 11:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome Activelife
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Old 02-15-2016, 11:42 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome!

It's up to you to decide if you're an alcoholic. Does alcohol cause problems in your life?

You could talk to your spouse about whether he will stay with you or not when you are sober because it's a change for both of you.

I hope you find lots of support here.
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Old 02-15-2016, 11:56 AM   #5 (permalink)
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If alcohol is causing problems, then it's best to get and stay sober. No one can tell you if a relationship will last thru adversity so you may as well talk to your spouse for the answers to that question.

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Old 02-15-2016, 12:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR.

It's not the frequency or the amount that you drink - more the effect it has on you and your life, and the power it has over you.

The second question can't be answered by anyone. Maybe not even your partner. But one thing's for certain, whether she stays or goes, you'll be much more able to deal with whichever situation sober (if you are an alcoholic).

I found these questions helpful to think the question over my 'status' regarding drinking Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You? Twelve questions only you can answer
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Old 02-15-2016, 12:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome Activelife!

Have you tried not drinking? What happens if anything?
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Old 02-15-2016, 12:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I drink about a bottle of wine a day
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Old 02-15-2016, 12:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi Activelife,

Welcome to the forums!

For your first question, unfortunately that's something only you can answer. There are all kinds of definitions out there you could look at, but there isn't a one size fits all. I used to look at loads of definitions until I found one that didn't fit my drinking. You know, "great, I'm not an alcoholic because I don't..." while ignoring all the boxes I was ticking. And also some people will drink until their world collapses, and then seek help. Others see which way they're headed and decide to get off the train before it goes off the rails completely. We're all different, and what one person might consider moderate drinking could have a hugely damaging impact on someone else.

For your second question, it's a big step to quit, and it's true that it can have an impact on relationships with friends/family, usually if they have problems with alcohol themselves. But the advice you'll see on here over and over again, is that when it comes to sobriety, you have to put yourself first. It's your life, and that's all you have control over. Don't keep drinking to make someone else happy if you're at all concerned about what it's doing to you. My wife still drinks (she's not a problem drinker) and while she was thrown by my decision and grumbled about having to drink alone now, I'm so much happier sober, enjoying life so much more, that I'd say our relationship has improved, not suffered.

Whatever you decide to do, you've definitely found the right place for advice and support. If you want to quit, every possible method for doing that is discussed here and there'll be loads of people ready and willing to answer any questions you have.
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Old 02-15-2016, 12:53 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Ultimately, it's up to you to determine how serious of a problem alcohol is but if you're feeling a need to drink or have cravings to drink alcohol every day then I say do away with it. Why not? It seems you're already wondering and people without a problem don't wonder if they have one. I'm not married but I think spouses should support each other in making healthy changes. I questioned if people would like me the same without drinking and the underlying issue that triggered this concern was low self esteem. Ironically, everybody likes me more now and I believe it is directly related to the fact that I like myself more. Good luck to you!
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Old 02-15-2016, 02:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi active life - welcome

seems like your drinking is problem enough to bring you here. A bottle of wine daily is way over recommended levels for safe drinking.

If it's causing you to wonder whether you might lose your spouse I'd say thats another good reason to quit?

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