NewJourneyStart

Is it important before trying to take on recovery, to admit that you've reached rock bottom? That you can not longer move forward with your life with alcohol being a part of it?

The reason I ask is I think I'm there and I have to give up alcohol to get past this hurdle I have no choice.

The parts of 'the hurdle' are...
- Finding a new job due to losing mine through drinking.
- Paying back the money I've borrowed from my parents so my girlfriend doesn't find out we're in trouble financially.
- Almost losing our rented house a time or two.
- Missing out on so much socially as I have no money to do anything.

Do I have to admit to myself I'm at rock bottom before I can build a new life?

Advice needed!

jryan19982

I did not need to reach my true rock bottom.

But what is rock bottom? Death? Hospitalization because of liver failure? A DUI? Having your stomach pumped?

So no you dont have to reach THE rock bottom. You could have reached that false floor though which is my case was good enough! Once you get past that false floor, you can dig your grave so to speak and it is hard to stop digging at that point.

But if you have realized that you have a problem, want to stop, and need to stop for certain reasons Id say that you are at that false floor knocking on it to see if you can get lower.

Congrats on your desire to stop drinking and at least talking it through with us.

firstymer

You reach your rock bottom when you decide to stop digging. Are you ready to stop digging?

Meraviglioso

Rock bottom for me would be losing my kids or having something happen to them because of my drinking or hurting or killing another person due to drunk driving or drunk behavior. I am sure there are a whole list of other horrible things that could happen to me if I continue but I would consider those the worst.
So no, I haven't hit rock bottom and I absolutely want to avoid going there. I'm trying to stop now.

FarToGo

I read a phrase on this site recently, "circling the drain" I guess that's where I was, there was much worse that could have happened. I was still in work and getting by in lot's of other ways. Could only see a downward spiral though and who the hell wants to "get by" in life just to keep drinking.
Hope you make a good choice.
xx

thomas11

I think you'll find a broad range of "bottoms" just as there is a large range of alcoholism. You need not lose everything to tackle sobriety. The worst bottom of course is in a coffin, and it happens. Wish you the best.

MIRecovery

IMO there is no ultimate bottom other than death which unfortunately is how the vast majority of alcoholics give up drinking. The only way it can not get any worse is when alcohol takes our life.

I prefer the concept of, "I was sick and tired of being sick and tired."

Bunny211

Agree with the others. Stop digging. Think of addiction as an elevator. You are doing down. Do you want to get off now or continue on this downward spiral? Stop now and start rebuilding your life.

doggonecarl

No, but you have to admit that you are done drinking. That alcohol is no longer an option.

Can you do that?

Soberwolf

All I can tell you is sobriety gave me and everyone in recovery thier lives back is this a day 1 post ?

least

My 'rock bottom' was losing my self respect and the respect of my kids. That was low enough for me.

Berrybean

We all have different 'bottoms'. I think the way I could tell I'd reached mine (in retrospect) is that I accepted that I couldn't just moderate. And that I no longer wanted to be the person I'd become, and there was only way that I could change. I was ready to be convinced that alcohol wasn't the answer to all my problems. . I accepted that my drinking was making many (maybe all) areas of my life unmanageable, and it was then that I slowly started to find the willingness to do what I'd never had the willingness to do before. (1) Stop drinking. (2) Ask for help - first on here and later in AA .

We all lose a different degree of things before we are ready to accept these things and become ready, and therefore teachable.

Dad23

Two questions that we ask that have their own answers....

#1 - Do I have a drinking problem? If you've asked yourself that question - Yes, you do.

#2 - Am I at "rock bottom"? If you've asked yourself that question - then No, you're not.

Rock bottom is simply the point at which you decide that enough is enough, the moment where you choose to not drink anymore, it's when you take alcohol off the table for good and all.

Until that point, no matter how low you sink, no matter how sick and broken you get, you will still be fighting with yourself over wanting a drink. Your willpower will be fighting with your subconscious over wanting "just one". Its like bringing a knife to a gun fight.

As soon as you "take it off the table" however - you're not fighting with yourself anymore.

Hope this helps. You can do it.

totfit

Rock Bottom is a hole 6 ft. under. Really we can always go lower. All you have to do is decide that you don't want to go any lower, but internalize without a shadow of a doubt that there is no way you can continue using and get better. I am bodily different. It is no big deal, I just can't drink successfully. It will not work. I am actually fine with that. Better in my opinion than a Peanut allergy. I would hate a life without Peanut Butter. Not being able to drink or use is really no big deal. We just have to find something else to do and there are a million other things we can do and so many that we have been missing out on. So the only requirement is no doubt that you can drink successfully and not putting it in your system.

Thumpalumpacus

I agree that our bottoms are all different. I am not sure you have to reach it before deciding to enter recovery, but I'm new to recovery, and my words don't have much experience backing them up.

ccam1973

Lot of good advice here already Newjourney. I think rock-bottom is a sliding scale. The further you slide down, the worse it gets, even though you thought you were at the bottom yesterday. Eventually, when you're done sliding, rock-bottom is death.

If you want your life back, you truly want to be back in control of your future, you no longer want alcohol ruining your every move, then make the decision to quit.

No one can make this decision for you, not your parents or girlfriend. You've got to decide this on your own and do it for you. Everyone else in your life will benefit from your actions, but you have to do this for you.

All of the effort you will put into not drinking is 1,000% worth the outcome. Trust me and others here, you won't regret the decision if you truly commit to it.

You can get your life back.

Lean on us as much as you need.

OpenTuning

You absolutely do not need to hit rock bottom (however you define it). A huge mistake so many people make is to look around for someone even worse off than them (there's always someone) and say "see, I don't have a problem, I'm not like him".

What you do need to do, though, is what you've already done. You need to realise that your life would be better without alcohol. That's all it takes to start down the road to sobriety. The next step is to come up with some plans for how to do that, and these forums are packed full of good advice on how to do that using a huge range of options.

Personally, I decided to skip the rock bottom. I have a house, a wife and kids, and call me selfish but I don't want to lose any of those. So I stepped off the lift before it went all the way down. And the great thing is, my life is way, way better without alcohol. I have more fun, enjoy things more, laugh more often, it's like a veil has lifted between me and the world. That's what I didn't expect. I thought I was letting myself into a lifetime of denial, but 9 months into sobriety and I've lost all desire to drink. It's gone. After 35 years of drinking. I still find that hard to believe.

Fervor

No. Emphatically No.

You can wait for whatever you consider to be rock bottom, but you don't have to. Why would you want to? It will be a tougher climb from there.

What happens when you hit the brakes last minute? You go through the windshield. If you hit them as soon as you see danger, you can stop before impact. No lacerations, less of a road back to health. Same thing. You see the wall ahead.

What is so great about the life you're living now that you hesitate to dump it?

I'm stopping. Make some plans and join me. You can and you know you should. You gotta want it. If you know you're headed for rock bottom, what are you waiting for?

X

Dee74

A lot of people think a bottom is an event or some tangible point that everyone can use as a marker for self destruction...but I don't think it is.

IMO a bottom can simply be the decision that you don't want to live this life this way for one more second.

you can get off the elevator at whatever floor you like

D

Chadalkieaddikt

Pg 23 of 12 n 12- it was obviously necessary to raise the bottom the rest of us had hit to the point where it would hit them. By going back in our own drinking histories we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.


Step one says WE admitted...

Only you can admit it, only you can decide if you are at your bottom, and only you can decide to choose to own it or let it own you.

It is worth it and so are YOU!!