Not Prepared For This @ 28 days Clean
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Columbia , SC
Posts: 38
Not Prepared For This @ 28 days Clean
I haven't posted in several days . Although I'm on this site daily, sometimes 2-3 times a day. Just reading others post. This My NA Big Book and Bible has helped me immensely in the absence of attending meetings. I have felt Grounded, Focused Having No Desire To Use Opiates My DOC. Now I'm faced With A Totally Unexpected Death A Close Family Member. My Aunt Went In For Surgery and Things Went Wrong....Very Wrong ! ! ! The Surgeon Accidently Cut Into a Main Valve In Her Liver. With three Unsuccessful Attempts To Close It Up and Stop The Bleeding She Passed Away. My Anxiety is back Full Force, My Fear Is Through The Roof. I'm Feeling Pain, Grief and Such A Sense Of Loss ! To be honest I'm Afraid To Fly Home and Go To Her Funeral. Of Course My Addict That Lives Within Me Wants To Alter My Mind and Numb My Feelings. Yet My Mind Knows She Will Still Be Gone and So Will All My Progress of Staying Clean and Sober. I am Suffering and Am Not Prepared For This At Only 28 Days Clean.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
My heart goes out to you. I am sending you cyber hugs. I don't have any words of wisdom except that using will NOT make things any better! Stay clean and sober and someday you will look back on this and be amazed at your strength!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i'm very sorry for your loss, so sudden and unexpected. NO ONE is prepared for that......so what you are feeling is quite normal AND appropriate...shock, sadness, fear.....so there is no need to try and CHANGE that or make it go away.
do you have any therapeutic support - meetings, outpatient, church? you don't have to go thru this alone and you most certainly do no have to drink over it!
do you have any therapeutic support - meetings, outpatient, church? you don't have to go thru this alone and you most certainly do no have to drink over it!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Were here with you 2thru1 this is devastating news of somebody close you loved,
the temptation to use, to numb any feelings is high but by playing the tape through you know that that it will only makes things worse
I'm really sorry you have lost your aunt but can guarantee she wouldn't want you hurting or using for that matter
So ..
Surround yourself with our collective love let us be somebody to lean on try to remain calm belly breathing exercises help massively I can send you links if you want ?
In the meantime stay on SR speak to people & know you don't have to grieve alone x
thinking of you
the temptation to use, to numb any feelings is high but by playing the tape through you know that that it will only makes things worse
I'm really sorry you have lost your aunt but can guarantee she wouldn't want you hurting or using for that matter
So ..
Surround yourself with our collective love let us be somebody to lean on try to remain calm belly breathing exercises help massively I can send you links if you want ?
In the meantime stay on SR speak to people & know you don't have to grieve alone x
thinking of you
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
My condolences to you and your family.
We are never really prepared, but you can absolutely stay clean through something like this.
I've found the best way for me to deal with grief is to just go through it. It comes in waves for me and I would just ride them out, go right into them, crying and letting myself really feel the feelings until I came out on the other side.Then I would feel peace for a while. It's not easy, but to avoid the reality of how I felt would end up being even worse.
Eventually the waves would get smaller and less frequent as I was able to accept the person being gone. I did this many times sober and having supportive people around helped a lot.
We are never really prepared, but you can absolutely stay clean through something like this.
I've found the best way for me to deal with grief is to just go through it. It comes in waves for me and I would just ride them out, go right into them, crying and letting myself really feel the feelings until I came out on the other side.Then I would feel peace for a while. It's not easy, but to avoid the reality of how I felt would end up being even worse.
Eventually the waves would get smaller and less frequent as I was able to accept the person being gone. I did this many times sober and having supportive people around helped a lot.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 7
I'm only on day 5, so being as unexperienced as I am I don't want to say the wrong thing or give the wrong advise. What I feel confident of saying is that you did the right thing by seeking out support, and in my mind that is someone who is in fact recovering. You cared for your aunt clearly, and I think she likely wanted your life to continue to improve. Stay strong and keep seeking support.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I'm sorry for your loss and sending positive thoughts that you and your family will find peace. Using will only mask your feelings. Some times to be in recovery is hard because we can't escape our feelings; some will be good and some not so good. Check in here often for support.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: The South
Posts: 59
The first days are the hardest and you've made it past them. That shows just how strong you are. Don't let one tragedy create another. Others here will have more and better advice. Keep coming back and keep reading. You have people who believe in you and want to help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Columbia , SC
Posts: 38
Thanks to you all for the out pouring of support. It's been 24 hrs since this devastating news. Today I have not and will not use. My thoughts remain on my recovery. I will continue to use this site as I go thru this ordeal.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm really sorry for your loss especially so unexpectedly.
Loss is painful, as is grief, but I hope you'll stay clean and sober.
We're meant to feel those things, and we're meant to move through them into some kind of closure.
We ran from emotions for years. Don't fear pain and sadness.
Be there for your family and let them be there for you.
D
Loss is painful, as is grief, but I hope you'll stay clean and sober.
We're meant to feel those things, and we're meant to move through them into some kind of closure.
We ran from emotions for years. Don't fear pain and sadness.
Be there for your family and let them be there for you.
D
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