Guiltless Weekender Feb 12
I'm in.
Guilt - I've done something bad, I can fix it or do better
Shame - I am bad, there's no fixing
I've got a big day in front of me. All signs say I'm about to screw up and make a choice that is going to put me under pressure and I will end up felling bad and then feel like I have to justify myself and then through everything to the wind.
I've started up something new with an ex. He hurt my ego badly in the past, and I've gone there again.
I also have a blind date tonight.
I spent a year and a half with no hump days, now it's looking like every day could be a Wednesday (JS)
This could be 'yeah, live a little and have some fun' or 'guilt overload'.
How to live and not hide? Is hiding living until sober muscles are strong?
I see the flashing light warning me my choices are off.
Why does fun sometimes look like all your pain spread out in front of you?
Guilt - I've done something bad, I can fix it or do better
Shame - I am bad, there's no fixing
I've got a big day in front of me. All signs say I'm about to screw up and make a choice that is going to put me under pressure and I will end up felling bad and then feel like I have to justify myself and then through everything to the wind.
I've started up something new with an ex. He hurt my ego badly in the past, and I've gone there again.
I also have a blind date tonight.
I spent a year and a half with no hump days, now it's looking like every day could be a Wednesday (JS)
This could be 'yeah, live a little and have some fun' or 'guilt overload'.
How to live and not hide? Is hiding living until sober muscles are strong?
I see the flashing light warning me my choices are off.
Why does fun sometimes look like all your pain spread out in front of you?
I'm in.
Guilt - I've done something bad, I can fix it or do better
Shame - I am bad, there's no fixing
I've got a big day in front of me. All signs say I'm about to screw up and make a choice that is going to put me under pressure and I will end up felling bad and then feel like I have to justify myself and then through everything to the wind.
I've started up something new with an ex. He hurt my ego badly in the past, and I've gone there again.
I also have a blind date tonight.
I spent a year and a half with no hump days, now it's looking like every day could be a Wednesday (JS)
This could be 'yeah, live a little and have some fun' or 'guilt overload'.
How to live and not hide? Is hiding living until sober muscles are strong?
I see the flashing light warning me my choices are off.
Why does fun sometimes look like all your pain spread out in front of you?
Guilt - I've done something bad, I can fix it or do better
Shame - I am bad, there's no fixing
I've got a big day in front of me. All signs say I'm about to screw up and make a choice that is going to put me under pressure and I will end up felling bad and then feel like I have to justify myself and then through everything to the wind.
I've started up something new with an ex. He hurt my ego badly in the past, and I've gone there again.
I also have a blind date tonight.
I spent a year and a half with no hump days, now it's looking like every day could be a Wednesday (JS)
This could be 'yeah, live a little and have some fun' or 'guilt overload'.
How to live and not hide? Is hiding living until sober muscles are strong?
I see the flashing light warning me my choices are off.
Why does fun sometimes look like all your pain spread out in front of you?
Go for it. I have had over two years Wednesday free. Not worth it.
I'm in!
I like what someone wrote, was it Ken? MAKE SOBER THE EASY OPTION.
I can do that. That I can do.
Enough with the immense pressure I put on myself thinking my tremendous efforts will erase guilt.
Sobriety will be easier if I make it easy. Sobriety this weekend is rest and relaxation and eat things that taste good and hug a friend. I can do that. I will do that.
I miss my ex's child. Going on three weeks that I haven't seen him. Ex went no contact on me again when I went off on him for telling the kid I've been at 'work' for two weeks.
A lot happens in an almost four year old's life in three weeks. That's a lot of affection, guidance and fun to miss out on. Any tips for how to move on in a healthy manner? I can't stuff it down anymore thinking I will process the grief slowly. It is really painful.
Otherwise I'm in decent spirits and last night I came home and made myself scrambled eggs. Huge accomplishment, first thing cooked in my new apartment. That's where I am and that's ok, self care isn't second nature to me and I'll get there.
xoxo
I like what someone wrote, was it Ken? MAKE SOBER THE EASY OPTION.
I can do that. That I can do.
Enough with the immense pressure I put on myself thinking my tremendous efforts will erase guilt.
Sobriety will be easier if I make it easy. Sobriety this weekend is rest and relaxation and eat things that taste good and hug a friend. I can do that. I will do that.
I miss my ex's child. Going on three weeks that I haven't seen him. Ex went no contact on me again when I went off on him for telling the kid I've been at 'work' for two weeks.
A lot happens in an almost four year old's life in three weeks. That's a lot of affection, guidance and fun to miss out on. Any tips for how to move on in a healthy manner? I can't stuff it down anymore thinking I will process the grief slowly. It is really painful.
Otherwise I'm in decent spirits and last night I came home and made myself scrambled eggs. Huge accomplishment, first thing cooked in my new apartment. That's where I am and that's ok, self care isn't second nature to me and I'll get there.
xoxo
.
Trees39 reference to a pending Blind Date made me think of this one...
Bill Withers recently received some Music Award. He was introduced by Stevie Wonder. Bill wanted to express some Heartfelt sentiments, and said [paraphrased]: 'I'm going to not use the Teleprompter to say some things'. Without a missing a beat, Stevie Wonder pipes up and says: 'That's what I did'!
LBrain ~ Yah, as much as my fellow Bassists think of Mesa, and Mesa Boogie Amps, I picked my Member Name based on our World View Perch, and Land. Besides, I didn't want to saddle myself with some name like DrunkLoserPimp forever. Early on, I knew I would *force* myself to get well. No matter what...
Given this Weekender Theme, I was amazed at the Cosmic Provenance of this Meme below showing up in my Newsfeed this Morning. No one here can relate, I'm sure!
Kinda thinkin' of Melina on this one...
- 'Ain't No Sunshine' ~ Bill Withers ~ Live -
.
Trees39 reference to a pending Blind Date made me think of this one...
Bill Withers recently received some Music Award. He was introduced by Stevie Wonder. Bill wanted to express some Heartfelt sentiments, and said [paraphrased]: 'I'm going to not use the Teleprompter to say some things'. Without a missing a beat, Stevie Wonder pipes up and says: 'That's what I did'!
LBrain ~ Yah, as much as my fellow Bassists think of Mesa, and Mesa Boogie Amps, I picked my Member Name based on our World View Perch, and Land. Besides, I didn't want to saddle myself with some name like DrunkLoserPimp forever. Early on, I knew I would *force* myself to get well. No matter what...
Given this Weekender Theme, I was amazed at the Cosmic Provenance of this Meme below showing up in my Newsfeed this Morning. No one here can relate, I'm sure!
Kinda thinkin' of Melina on this one...
- 'Ain't No Sunshine' ~ Bill Withers ~ Live -
.
My first trip on the Weekender bus
I have a 4-day weekend starting tomorrow, so I'm making the 90-minute drive down to Tucson for the weekend to see, among other things, the Pima Air & Space Museum and adjacent US Air Force "boneyard" at Davis-Monthan AFB. Acres upon acres of decommissioned aircraft preserved in the dry desert air for spare parts. Alas, I am not in the USAF, so I'll have to see them from an air-conditioned bus. Also on the itinerary is the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, an indoor-outdoor museum/zoo dedicated to the flora and fauna of the Sonoran Desert region.
It's an easy trip from my home, and not very exciting by most people's standards, but here is where some of you may be able to relate: It is a perfect example of a simple little weekend trip that I had wanted to take since I first moved to Phoenix, that requires little real effort or expense, but that I nonetheless could never manage during my drinking days, for the usual myriad of reasons that most of us know all too well (too drunk, too hungover, too tired, passed out, the list goes on...) I view it as another small step in the process of taking back my life from alcohol.
I have a 4-day weekend starting tomorrow, so I'm making the 90-minute drive down to Tucson for the weekend to see, among other things, the Pima Air & Space Museum and adjacent US Air Force "boneyard" at Davis-Monthan AFB. Acres upon acres of decommissioned aircraft preserved in the dry desert air for spare parts. Alas, I am not in the USAF, so I'll have to see them from an air-conditioned bus. Also on the itinerary is the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, an indoor-outdoor museum/zoo dedicated to the flora and fauna of the Sonoran Desert region.
It's an easy trip from my home, and not very exciting by most people's standards, but here is where some of you may be able to relate: It is a perfect example of a simple little weekend trip that I had wanted to take since I first moved to Phoenix, that requires little real effort or expense, but that I nonetheless could never manage during my drinking days, for the usual myriad of reasons that most of us know all too well (too drunk, too hungover, too tired, passed out, the list goes on...) I view it as another small step in the process of taking back my life from alcohol.
Hi DesertDawg! Enjoy the Sonora Desert Museum. I've been there and enjoyed it. I've always wanted to go to Davis Monthan. Sounds cool. And warm.
I heard about the Einstein thing on the radio. Two black holes colliding.
I heard about the Einstein thing on the radio. Two black holes colliding.
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