sadsadgirl

The cravings were too much to bear last night and I gave in. Went drinking after work. Called in sick today and continued drinking. Stopped a couple of hours ago. Family is upset. Really effed up this time. This is so hard. I am reaching out-what is wrong with me? Why can't I see that this is a lonely destructive path I'm on?

least

I hope you can get the support you need to get sober for good. It takes some effort and a lot of changes, but it's worth it.

Anna

I'm glad you posted. The cravings are hard to manage, but it might help if you have a plan. What could you plan for after work to help you deal with the cravings? I found changing my daily routines helped a lot in the early days. Drive home a different way and bypass the store you use. Go to the gym or out for a walk or have coffee with a friend.

You can do this!

chrcarlson

sadsadgirl, read anna's post. I'll bet you went home and sat around doing the normal routine-which would include drinking. It's much easier if you do something else after work or when you would normally drink. If you do anything that doesn't involve drinking try doing that after work.

sadsadgirl

I live with a recovered alcoholic so went to a bar after work and drank. My trigger was that it's lent today and I'd promised myself I'd quit smoking but got really panicked I can't do it. I also have been single for a few years and have recently tried online dating. I'm supposed to be meeting up with a guy on there just for coffee but also panicked-how can I do this without cigarettes and alcohol? All this was pummelling through my head all afternoon and I caved. But the repercussions are huge. I'm going to end up getting thrown out of my flat if I don't sort this out. I'm so stuck. I need to go to AA but the meetings times and places don't work well with my work routine. Is there anything else you can suggest? Or do I just work out a way to go to AA?

sadsadgirl

Thanks Anna but I don't think I can do this. I debated overdosing before-if I went away all this would stop for my family

Soberwolf

I agree with Anna & Least

Coldfusion

Why not give AA a call? In some places, there are people on hand who will talk to you.

Anna

There are lots of ways to stop drinking and recover:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

doggonecarl

If you can find the way to get drunk, you can find the way to AA or any other method of recovery. There's no waving a wand to get sober. Put the effort into getting and staying sober and you will be rewarded with success.

Ruby2

Sadsadgirl, I debated giving up smoking for Lent too. I couldn't do it either and was also sent into a panic. And I've got some sober time. Accept right now the idea that giving up the drinking is more important in your life and the quitting will fall into place at some point. Just not right now.

Same suggestion applies to dating. Giving up the drinking is more important in your life and relationships will eventually fall into place. Just not right now.

I'd also suggest the AA meetings. I don't know where you are but near me there are meetings at all times. If you can't do AA meetings regularly, start posting here and reading and commenting far more often than your current activity. I'm here every day. It has really helped.

Hang in there. It's hard in the beginning. We all wanted to squash uncomfortable feelings by drinking. You just have to put up with the pain that causes. Just for a while. It does fade.

sadsadgirl

What is stopping me from attending AA is that the recovered alcoholic I live with is dead against the idea-they recovered without it and believe that what they did is a one size fits all approach. I think I'll just have to face up to them and say this is my way.

EndGameNYC

Many of us started out this way. Why would I believe I could stop drinking and live a better life when all I knew was drunkeness and failure.

Take care of your immediate problems as best you can, and then slow down. You can't fix everything at once. The world never disappears while people are working to get sober.

Get as much help and support as you can, and identify someone you trust with whom you can talk about what you're going through, what you're feeling, and what it is that you're afraid of.

As Dee often says, if all the work that goes into getting sober weren't worth it, then none of us would be sober.

Take a deep breath, and reassure yourself that getting sober will open the door to living the life you've always wanted to live. Even if it's very different than what you've imagined, it will most definitely be better than what you've known.

Wastinglife

I ruined almost a year of sobriety when I decided to start online dating. it is impossible for me not to drink when I am meeting a complete stranger at a bar. So I had to stop Internet dating altogether. I got sloppy drunk on a few of those dates and it's not exactly a turn-on to get drunk on the first date.

I suggest to put sobriety first before dating. I didn't and relapsed into months long drinking binge

Nowsthetime

I'm sorry but this is an excuse. What others think has nothing to do with you. Do you let your roommate make all your decisions? There are many ways to get sober and they all entail personal responsibility. I don't do AA, never have but I do AVRT and have a plan. Read and participate a lot here and start making your plan. We will be here to support you and help you but remember that this is up to you.

You are NOT alone!!!

FreeOwl

You know.... if the recovered alcoholic you live with is questioning your method of trying to embrace sobriety - well, I question just how 'recovered' he really is. That sounds like the sort of thing a bitter, white-knuckler at risk of relapse might say.

Please forgive my judgmental statement - but I feel it's at least somewhat warranted as consideration in light of his judgmental statement.

You ask why can't you see the lonely destructive path you're on.... I submit to you, you CAN. You yourself are here pointing it out. It's not that you can't see it, it's that you've yet to make a real choice to do anything about it.

What AA did for me was give me a clear way to begin making that choice. Disclaimer; I'm not your textbook AA person. I don't go to AA daily. Or even weekly with any consistency. But in the early days it was a real powerful asset. To have a room full of real people to talk with, to listen to, to open my mind and to learn about recovery and alcoholism - was invaluable. That Big Book was, too. Sure, it's written in antiquated language and is God-heavy. But it has a heck of a lot of collective insight and those stories at the back - the personal accounts - there's some shred of similarity in every single one.

To make the shift from descending into alcoholic darkness to ascending the heights of sobriety - you don't need to just SEE the lonely path you're on... you need to firmly resolve that you want another path. One that is light and happy and joy and gratitude and fully living.

You won't find that choice just by sitting around resenting your own actions and wondering why you can't change. You'll find it through ACTION - and AA is a free, available, helpful place to start doing it.

AA to me is one part of my sobriety. These days, it's a fairly small part in terms of the time I dedicate to it. But - it's a huge part of the reason I'm over two years sober and I'm sure that without it, I'd still be on the merry-go-round of despair.

Follow your OWN path. The recovered alcoholic you live with isn't you. This isn't his life at stake - it's yours.

Dee74

I hope you'll consider talking to someone if you still feel this level of despair sadsadgirl

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

I had no confidence I could do it either - but I committed to not drinking one day, then another then another, then another...

Some days are harder than others sure but if you have support, and you use it, you can get through anything

The first time I got through cravings without drinking gave me a little hope, and then a little more next time, and a little more the time after that

I was an all day everyday drinker sad sad - if I can do this, I really believe you can too



This is your recovery, not your roomies.

If trying to do this on your own is making you this miserable, I think it's clear you really need to look at other approaches - and I think a real friend would recognise that & support your decisions?

D

sadsadgirl

Thanks for all the kind messages of support. I'm feeling down in the dumps sure but reading your replies has given me some hope. I don't know how I'm going to do this. I bought the Big Book last night and will begin reading that. Also I've put my journal in my bag. The plan is to start writing in there and collect my thoughts as I travel to and from work each day. I'm going to look if there's an AA meeting I can attend tonight.

Mountainmanbob

I have heard it said that one will not stop drinking so as to please others but, it is a great by product.

You can do this.
Make a firm decision
and stick to it.

Mountainman

sadsadgirl

Yes Mountainman, I agree-this is ultimately a selfish decision-staying sober cuts out a load of crap in my life! But the by product will be regaining the faith and trust of my family. Although I'm not sure they will ever trust me again.