MikeM

Left my parents' place, went home, got beer, am drinking.

Anna

So, Mike, what is your plan now? What are you going to do today?

jryan19982

Will you continue drinking today? Or will you stop today and do something productive?

Why did you leave your parents house? Did you drink while at your parents house?

MikeM

Anna, to be honest, for the rest of the evening I will keep drinking. It's not that I want to, I can't resist it. If I have some left tomorrow, I will also drink it.

I am always honest, so that's what I think is what will happen.

I will ignore attempts to get me to throw it out. Because I can't.

I am not making a plan. The longest I went without drinking was when I thought: "No more." and I just moved on. A plan doesn't work for me.

So once the alcohol is gone, I will just live my life. No plan. Just moving on.

Upward2Enlightenment

Sorry to hear that Mike.

I hate to be harsh but, until you decide to put sobriety first you are going to repeat the cycle.

Did you know what made you decide to drink?
Did you try anything to help stop you before you went to get the beer? Go to a meeting, post here, call someone to talk through the decision, play the tape forward etc??

You need a plan to deal with life on life's terms.

Good luck.

Fly N Buy

.

MikeM

Yes, I will continue drinking today. Maybe tomorrow as well if I'm not out of beer yet. No, I will not post much btw, posting drunk is not good for me.

Something productive lies in the sober part of my life. So that's where I need to go.

I didn't drink at my parents house. It's an alcohol-free zone and they support me. I left because I needed to drink. It consumed me.

I apologize if I don't reply for a couple of days. Maybe I'm drinking or hung over.

oldsoul1122

Relapsed again and you can stop again. Recommit, modify your plan, don't dwell on this and move forward.

MikeM

The desire and obsession consumed me until it drove me almost mad.

wehav2day

Hi mike, sorry you decided to drink. I hope you feel better tomorrow.

About that plan thing... I inowitshard to think about. But from here it looks like your way so far hasn't been working/ if it was working, you wouldn't be drinking.

So how about you open your mind a little to something new? I wish you the best, you deserve a happy sober life.

jryan19982

"I will ignore attempts to get me to throw it out. Because I can't.

I am not making a plan. The longest I went without drinking was when I thought: "No more." and I just moved on. A plan doesn't work for me.

So once the alcohol is gone, I will just live my life. No plan. Just moving on."

You can dump it, you just wont dump it.

No plan is not good. You need some sort of idea on how to kick this.

And I really dont understand the last sentence. You didnt have alcohol when you got home, but you bought it. Why? "because I cant help myself." Then whats to keep you from buying alcohol when it is gone?

Inpatient would be a good idea. Because frankly I just dont see it going any differently unless you are put in rehab where you can work out your sobriety.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you make the right decision.

SoberLeigh

I am sorry to hear about your relapse, Mike.

Mike, what you are doing simply isn't working for you.

Please, Mike, strongly consider going back to the rehab that your parents coordinated for you; perhaps, too, consider an involuntary admission so that you can complete the full program.

You need this, Mike. Go for it. Turn your life around while you still have the chance.

Soberwolf

Mike pour it away it's not helping you will feel worse the more you drink

Have you considered rehab ?

least

I felt the same despair, thought I was destined to drink myself to death. I was wrong.

I am sober today and it's wonderful. I never thought I could feel so good.

mcflurry

Hi Mike, I'm sorry to hear you have relapsed and are struggling

I remember you said you had a friend who was going to help you get sober, and you seemed to have some initial successs.. what happened there? Do you think he could still help you?

I'm not going to tell you to put down the bottle, but I'm hoping you can tell yourself to, and soon. Look at the posts from so many people here on SR whose lives have changed for the better since they have got sober. That can be you, too.

Carlotta

Doesn't sound like a relapse to me. It sounds more like your "sober" days are just breaks in your drinking routine.

It has worked very well for you in the past hasn't it?

ScottFromWI

You aren't being honest at all Mike. You might think you are but you are lying to yourself. It is most likely because you are drunk, but you have already proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that "just moving on" will not work for you. A "plan" is the only thing that will work, whether you like it or not.

Inpatient rehab is most likely the only option for you at this point - and quite frankly you may be taken there against your own will at some point. That is if you don't hurt yourself or someone else first, which would really be a tragedy and quite a selfish act.

Posting here isn't helping, you need professional help that only a rehab or inpatient mental facility can provide.

I hope you can find the strength to get checked in and stay in before you die from this.

fantail

You need to have yourself committed. Really.

You're completely incapable of saying no to yourself. OK. But there is at least the part of you that's asked for help a few times, here and of your parents. Take advantage of that sliver of willpower and next time have yourself committed.

When I was in detox and rehab, I met a number of people who did this. There are many people who are so taken over by addiction that it's the only way. I met one girl who wouldn't even let her girlfriend pick her up and drive her from detox to rehab; she said if she was out of a locked building for even half a day she thought she'd relapse. She committed herself for 90 days because she was afraid she'd OD and die if she didn't.

Steve3929

Hey Mike,

I know you were working with a friend/guy over email to work out your problems. Have you tried communicating with him again?

Dee74

Mike you've had a lot of ideas, support and understanding over the past few weeks, but none of us here can drag or nag you into not drinking.

You need to make a plan - a plan that involves reaching out before you drink, and a plan that precludes you from drinking again..

As long as you think the cravings are unbeatable and your only response is to drink, you're just spinning your wheels.

There's nothing about you that makes recovery impossible for you, but you need to put as much effort into not drinking as you do drinking.

D