What changed?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 520
What changed?
I've got sober numerous times over the last 10 years, but never for more than a month at a time.
I've tried a few different things, from willpower alone to AVRT.
My previous failures can at times add pressure to my efforts to stop drinking, as if reinforcing that I'm destined to end my life a drunk. And then I come on here and read about those who have overcome their addiction, and it inspires me and strengthens my resolve.
For those of you who have quit long term, can you look back and pinpoint a single event, technique, feeling or mindset that made your final attempt the last one? Or was it simply a case of never quitting quitting until the job was done?
PS i just re-read this and thought I should point out that I'm not implying sobriety is easy or effortless once you've stopped for any length of time, what I'm getting at is your confidence and belief becoming resolute.
I've tried a few different things, from willpower alone to AVRT.
My previous failures can at times add pressure to my efforts to stop drinking, as if reinforcing that I'm destined to end my life a drunk. And then I come on here and read about those who have overcome their addiction, and it inspires me and strengthens my resolve.
For those of you who have quit long term, can you look back and pinpoint a single event, technique, feeling or mindset that made your final attempt the last one? Or was it simply a case of never quitting quitting until the job was done?
PS i just re-read this and thought I should point out that I'm not implying sobriety is easy or effortless once you've stopped for any length of time, what I'm getting at is your confidence and belief becoming resolute.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I had a moment where I knew alcohol was no longer an option, ever. At that point, my mind seemed to click over and immediately began to come up with healthy ways to get through the day.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Germany
Posts: 81
I went to AA after I tried medication which didnīt help.
After 6 weeks I got dry after I prayed to my higher power to take the burden from me.
It helped. Iīve been dry for about 8 months and I go to 3 AA meetings a week.
You can do it too!
S
After 6 weeks I got dry after I prayed to my higher power to take the burden from me.
It helped. Iīve been dry for about 8 months and I go to 3 AA meetings a week.
You can do it too!
S
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
My answer is similar to what Anna said I also woke up one day and just knew I had to stay sober my AV was in overdrive that day
I went to AA for 14+ months and listened I did share from time to time but for me listening to people who had been where I'd been and had years sobriety I made sure I listened wasn't easy at first I had 3 months of trying but I kept trying & eventually it just made sense I knew what had to be done this was all on me & if I wanted things to change then I had to take action & reinforce my acceptance daily
I want you to know that you can do this you don't have to do it alone and you can always reach out to us
I went to AA for 14+ months and listened I did share from time to time but for me listening to people who had been where I'd been and had years sobriety I made sure I listened wasn't easy at first I had 3 months of trying but I kept trying & eventually it just made sense I knew what had to be done this was all on me & if I wanted things to change then I had to take action & reinforce my acceptance daily
I want you to know that you can do this you don't have to do it alone and you can always reach out to us
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I am not a long term person (on Day28 right now), but can tell you that what is different for me this time is three-fold:
1. I made a commitment to my kids as well as a (measurable) commitment to myself
2. I enrolled myself in Intensive Outpatient
3. Physician prescribed antianxiety medication and psychiatrist prescribed Antabuse. I'm taking both.
I couldn't tell you for sure, but I think the Antabuse + IOP are probably the tipping points. Hard to tell, though, because it's a sober cocktail.
On Antabuse, I would need to think at least 4-5 days in the future to make a plan to drink. Because I take the medication while at group, that's just not possible. Because I occupy 15+ hours weekly focusing on sobriety, it's sort of inconceivable.
I'm following the advice of many a smart person here who provide guidance to "use everything you can."
1. I made a commitment to my kids as well as a (measurable) commitment to myself
2. I enrolled myself in Intensive Outpatient
3. Physician prescribed antianxiety medication and psychiatrist prescribed Antabuse. I'm taking both.
I couldn't tell you for sure, but I think the Antabuse + IOP are probably the tipping points. Hard to tell, though, because it's a sober cocktail.
On Antabuse, I would need to think at least 4-5 days in the future to make a plan to drink. Because I take the medication while at group, that's just not possible. Because I occupy 15+ hours weekly focusing on sobriety, it's sort of inconceivable.
I'm following the advice of many a smart person here who provide guidance to "use everything you can."
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
This time, something just clicked in me one morning after and the thought "that's enough" came into my mind. I absolutely could not bear to go one more day living in that misery.
Until then, I wasn't willing to put in the work it would take to make changes in my life that would help me stay sober. Having a spiritual path/reliance on a power greater than myself helped me with this.
Until then, I wasn't willing to put in the work it would take to make changes in my life that would help me stay sober. Having a spiritual path/reliance on a power greater than myself helped me with this.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by 5upersonic 
Or was it simply a case of never quitting quitting until the job was done?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
I'm one if those people who would quit for a while, get to six months, life would get exponentially better, then for one stupid reason or another I would drink and completely unravel all of the good that had happened. I did this three times.
The last if these times, I went to outpatient. I found sr by googling "90 days sober" and joined that day. Three months later I drank again. I can't remember why. Every time I drank, I hoped for that magical moment when I wouldn't want to drink anymore. That moment of clarity when everything would "click" into place.
That relapse lasted until February 22, 2013, the day I realized that magical moment wasn't going to happen. That my only chance at true recovery was to stop drinking and chase it with everything I could use.
I did pretty well. I attended some aa and came back to sr with one key change from before. I posted completely honestly. Before, I would post truthfully but not honestly. Everything I posted before was true, but I avoided posting anything that was "negative. " I wouldn't post my fears or worries, or any scary feelings I had, for fear of hurting anybody or setting a negative tone.
That was stupid, 'cause that's exactly what this forums here for! Through sharing everything, honestly AND truthfully, we get help and help each other.
When I got to six months, that was my scary time. So I posted about it like crazy and shined a bright light on my fears. Addiction hates light, honesty, even love.
Wanna **** your addiction off? Shine a light on your fears. Be honest about everything. Learn to love yourself again.
At about 9 months sober, I knew I had to grow. I started to feel more unsettled again. So I did the aa steps with a sponsor. That's what really tipped the scales for me. The work of the steps taught me that it's ok to be fully honest, the world won't stop turning. They taught me to forgive myself for all of the dumb stuff I did. They taught me to love myself because everyone deserves that.
There are other ways to get there, I've seen people do this all over the forums using various methods. in any case, I really do think the magic formula is a lot of work but totally worth it: honesty, openness/light,and love of self and others.
You can do this!!!
The last if these times, I went to outpatient. I found sr by googling "90 days sober" and joined that day. Three months later I drank again. I can't remember why. Every time I drank, I hoped for that magical moment when I wouldn't want to drink anymore. That moment of clarity when everything would "click" into place.
That relapse lasted until February 22, 2013, the day I realized that magical moment wasn't going to happen. That my only chance at true recovery was to stop drinking and chase it with everything I could use.
I did pretty well. I attended some aa and came back to sr with one key change from before. I posted completely honestly. Before, I would post truthfully but not honestly. Everything I posted before was true, but I avoided posting anything that was "negative. " I wouldn't post my fears or worries, or any scary feelings I had, for fear of hurting anybody or setting a negative tone.
That was stupid, 'cause that's exactly what this forums here for! Through sharing everything, honestly AND truthfully, we get help and help each other.
When I got to six months, that was my scary time. So I posted about it like crazy and shined a bright light on my fears. Addiction hates light, honesty, even love.
Wanna **** your addiction off? Shine a light on your fears. Be honest about everything. Learn to love yourself again.
At about 9 months sober, I knew I had to grow. I started to feel more unsettled again. So I did the aa steps with a sponsor. That's what really tipped the scales for me. The work of the steps taught me that it's ok to be fully honest, the world won't stop turning. They taught me to forgive myself for all of the dumb stuff I did. They taught me to love myself because everyone deserves that.
There are other ways to get there, I've seen people do this all over the forums using various methods. in any case, I really do think the magic formula is a lot of work but totally worth it: honesty, openness/light,and love of self and others.
You can do this!!!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Seeking help and recognizing that self will and knowledge wasn't going to keep me sober. Like others, I simply became sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Imbibed for many years the final few years alcoholically quickly was approaching final 3 rd stage of alcoholism. Did want that!
Imbibed for many years the final few years alcoholically quickly was approaching final 3 rd stage of alcoholism. Did want that!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
It's not long term for me at this point and I too have tried many times and failed but this time feels different. I finally came to the realization and acceptance that I cannot and will not ever drink again. My health demands it and I will end up losing my job if I end up slipping back to my old ways. There are serious consequences for drinking again at this point and knowing that flipped the switch for me to finally accept within myself that I will never drink again.
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