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Old 02-05-2016, 01:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Could i be wrong ?


Had an awful day today . I don't know if I'm wrong thinking I'm an alcoholic, or am I right . I don't know if it's only cravings that makes my think this way or some sort of thing that everyone goes through? Or maybe I'm not ready ? I truly don't know what's going on in my head , I feel like I'm being convinced I'm not an alcoholic. What to do ?
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Old 02-05-2016, 01:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It's up to you to decide if you're an alcoholic or not.
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Old 02-05-2016, 01:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Make a list. On one piece of paper list all the things you GAIN from drinking. On another, list all the problems alcohol causes for you. Once you are done go back and compare. That might give you a better idea of the role alcohol plays in your life.
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Sorry Anna but your comment just made me feel worse ... No offence
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Scott I will use your suggestion, I think it's a great idea
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I don't get hung up with the definition. If alcohol is causing you problems in life then is it's best to remove it. There is no exact definition of an alcoholic so don't let your mind play tricks on you.

If you're here asking that question then alcohol has probably been a problem in your life.
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:08 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Scott I will use your suggestion, I think it's a great idea
It's not the only way to go about it. And while you might not like Anna's comment, she is 100% correct. No one can tell you if you are an alcoholic or not, you need to decide for yourself. That's one of the most difficult things about it, but there is no test or official diagnosis....you must decide for yourself.
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:11 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't know if it's only cravings that makes my think this way or some sort of thing that everyone goes through? Or maybe I'm not ready ?
Could you say - not ready for what?

And... do non-alcoholics have cravings?
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:12 PM   #9 (permalink)
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It's only a question you can answer. Look deeply within yourself, in the parts you keep hidden from yourself most of the time. It's a frightening prospect to search within oneself for your own truth.

From a personal perspective I found myself asking these same questions this afternoon. For a few hours I felt lost. But boy am I glad I kept myself feeling lost rather than frantically trying to galvanise myself into action-the easiest, most tested way how-by caving. By riding the storm I feel so content now. I know I lived my truth. And it feels like my soul is singing to me now. Ahhhh wonderful.

Hang in there, you're here, that speaks volumes about what you truly believe.
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:19 PM   #10 (permalink)
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You all are right . It's been hard to stay home not being able to attend AA , without it I'm lost , mindfulness is killing me .
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:19 PM   #11 (permalink)
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As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous would say...Step into the nearest bar room and try some controlled drinking. An alcoholic cannot start drinkimg without craving more!
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I feel like I'm being convinced I'm not an alcoholic

by whom or what? if you have CRAVINGS that is a sign you have a problem with alcohol. you are on a sober recovery site pretty much arguing with YOURSELF.....save yourself some grief, pick a side. made a decision. Is or Ain't. Am or Aren't.
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:25 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I thought you were going to AA?
If it's a transport problem maybe you can get a lift with someone?

Have you considered online AA meetings maybe?

I think, if you've given up alcohol, and you're obsessing about any aspect of that that, then there's obviously some kind of problem, PP.

The label you want to put on it is up to you - so long as you agree there's a need for action.

Things can do and will get better

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Old 02-05-2016, 02:27 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Had an awful day today . I don't know if I'm wrong thinking I'm an alcoholic, or am I right . I don't know if it's only cravings that makes my think this way or some sort of thing that everyone goes through? Or maybe I'm not ready ? I truly don't know what's going on in my head , I feel like I'm being convinced I'm not an alcoholic. What to do ?
It's common to feel ambivalent about it. Your AV (addictive voice) is of course going to try and convince you it's not as bad as you might think. It wants to drink.

It helps me to remember all the bad times -- all the god awful things that happened. And also, the things I didn't do because drinking prevented me from doing it. You can remember your hangovers, any accidents, the things you've done and said to others, or things left undone. The guilt, shame, anxiety, depression. Whatever it is alcohol has brought to your life, remember it when you think you're ok to have another drink. See it in great detail if you can. Visualizing those things in my mind disgusted me enough to never want to drink again.

Another thing -- you aren't required to label yourself. Whether you call yourself an "alcoholic" or not is entirely up to you (as Anna mentioned), but examining your life and coming out of denial about how bad things are is absolutely necessary in order to arrive at the decision of whether to drink again or not.

One thing all of us who've managed to stay stopped have in common seems to be acceptance that it is unwise for us to ever drink again. Some say they "can't" drink; others say they choose not to drink. Doesn't matter, but arriving at a definite answer and committing to it is key.
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:33 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I thought you were going to AA? If it's a transport problem maybe you can get a lift with someone? Have you considered online AA meetings maybe? I think, if you've given up alcohol, and you're obsessing about any aspect of that that, then there's obviously some kind of problem, PP. The label you want to put on it is up to you - so long as you agree there's a need for action. Things can do and will get better D
I am going to AA and been going every day but I can't go for few days because don't have where to leave kids while hubby works
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:38 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Have you considered online AA meetings maybe?D
Could Dee's idea help, even a little?
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:40 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Yes I'm sitting in one right now , but honestly I don't feel it , it's not the same . But at least I was brave enough to to share for the first time
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:41 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I'm sorry I started this thread out of desperation, moment of weakness and didn't know where to turn to. I realise it sounds like a crazy person wrote it . Thank you everyone
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:51 PM   #19 (permalink)
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hi Penguin -- you don't sound crazy to me. I went around and around with that same question for a long time. "Am I really an alcoholic?" It's one of the things in AA that actually caused me problems...the emphasis on that label. I found the addicted part of my brain loved for me to obsess over that label and reject that label and make a big deal of it.

I realize now that the label really doesn't matter -- there's no one definition of an alcoholic that everyone would agree on anyway. The really important question, for me, was whether I'm better off without alcohol (YES), and do I think if I drank again the results would be any better than the last time I drank (NO). Therefore I don't drink, and I do whatever I need to do to comfortably maintain my sobriety.
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Old 02-05-2016, 02:52 PM   #20 (permalink)
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[QUOTE=ProudPenguin;5780916]Had an awful day today . I don't know if I'm wrong thinking I'm an alcoholic, or am I right . I don't know if it's only cravings that makes my think this way or some sort of thing that everyone goes through? Or maybe I'm not ready ? I truly don't know what's going on in my head , I feel like I'm being convinced I'm not an alcoholic. What to do ?[/QUOTE

I've got the same kind of thought process- because I don't drink on a daily basis I somehow convince myself I'm not 'that bad' the thing is when I do drink, it's to absolute excess. I suffer constant blackouts and that's nowhere near the worst of it. I lose total control of myself and it's really scary. When I've talked about how I feel to people a lot have said 'oh you don't have a problem, you should hear what I've gotten up to when drunk' etc. Which then arms your AV with some power!i genuinely wish I could go out and have a great time with my friends and have a few drinks and enjoy myself but that's just not possible for me I know I have to stop altogether. You know better than anyone how alcohol affects you, but clearly something is making you question your relationship with alcohol. Hope you find a bit of guidance
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