zigzagging

Hi all, I wrote a post yesterday about how I am finding this - I was gonna say easy, but I know that's not the right word cos it wasn't easy to give up drinking after 20+ years - but I'm dealing with this "new me" really well. I haven't got a problem when others around me are drinking, I'm enjoying the hangover free mornings. Anyway a lot of you kind people replied to my post yesterday (thank you) and asked about if I had a plan to help me if I do hit a wall and decide to have that "one drink", well the simple answer is no I've never had a real plan, the only thing I have had is all you guys on here, the encouragement and support, and not wanting to let you down. I think I am addressing this problem the same way I did before I gave it up, back then I didn't want to stop drinking and so I didn't, simple as that. Well that has changed and I have decided that I don't want to drink and so I am not drinking, it's my stubborn inner self that is keeping me strong I suppose, how long that will keep working I am not sure but it's working for me at the moment and as silly as it sounds when I do think for a couple of seconds about having a drink (it doesn't last long) I think about how embarrassed I will be to come on here and admit to all you guys who are all struggling through all your own problems to tell you how I failed you all, and myself, so my only plan is my will power and the feeling that I have every morning when I wake up sober.

Dee74

The trouble I had with willpower was part of my will still wanted to drink. I hope that you're past that and it won't be an issue for you, but you know - its early days yet Zig.

Even if things continue to be easy going for you, I still think you need a plan tho - I explain why here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

teatreeoil007

I do hope it is more than fear of embarrassment that keeps you sober zig... I don't get too embarrassed anymore nor do I fear embarrassment .. But I mainly fear doing something that is like abusing myself ..yes willpower is an amazing thing .. But even those with a cast-iron will can cave to addiction ...

Soberwolf

Not to rain on your parade but willpower will only take you so far & I really liked what D just said I'm not trying to say anything bad but having a plan is vital in my book

Can I ask why do you not like the idea of a plan ?

doggonecarl

I had the same question, why so adverse to a plan.

MIRecovery

The problem with will power is alcoholism has a lifetime to wait for our one moment of weaknesses. For most of us quitting was never the problem. Staying quit was a whole different story

JD

Zig, a plan can be as simple as thinking thru the different possibilities and scenarios that may cause you to think about drinking and what you'd do if they arise. I'm with you that you can get to a certain point in your life where drinking isn't important to you any more. And not drinking becomes easier. But there are still times when I think "a beer sounds good right now" or something similar. That's when you need to have least given some thought to what you'd do. For me it's to change the situation for a little while. Go do something else, go for a 5 minute walk or finding something else along those lines. There are others situations where I'd play the tape forward or ask myself "is drinking going to make my life better". Come up with your own ideas (plan)

EndGameNYC

Willpower is a time-limited tactic for sobriety that very often leads to comments such as the following: "You were all right. I should have listened. I should have had a plan. My willpower failed me, so I just started drinking again, and now I can't stop."

Embarrassment? I embarrassed myself many times while I was drinking, and a few times when I was not. But the threat of embarrassment never got me sober.

You've bought into the idea that because not drinking is one among many decisions that take little effort, that this will always be the case. For many of us, the work of achieving sobriety only began after we put down the drink.

Be careful. Getting sober is not the same thing as cutting down on sweets or getting on a treadmill.

UnixBer

I guess in most cases willpower is not the requirement for beating addictions since it is mostly chemistry and this can take over willpower in its own ways.
Being addicted to a substance in my perspective is chemistry and not a lack off willpower. Of course there are psychological reasons too.

thomas11

ZZ, there was a member here awhile back that created a log/journal of their decision to quit. He didn't even post until his 2nd day sober because the first day he was not feeling well. This went on for close to 50 days (I believe). Quite amazingly, after he made his decision to quit, he did, and that was that. He detailed each day his physical and mental status (early days were rough). At his last post he had not slipped or relapsed and didn't seem to be heading that direction either. It was very inspirational. I believe his screen name was DaBoozer.